People who can't take their own advice...

What is it with people who constantly like to give out advice to help their friends, yet when the friend gives the same advice back it is suddenly worthy of ruining the friendship?

So, a few weeks ago I go to a party and I take a girl, shes too much of a friend to ever be anything more; in fact we joke non stop about pretty much being brother and sister. SO we are very close, but not romatically..

Now I get absolutely drunk out of my head and end up in hospital (I was on medication that strictly forbade drinking, but I forgot) During this time some people at the party had told the girl I'd said we were a couple...

Even when I told her it wasn't true and she believed me, she made me promise never to drink like that again...because it was 'stupid' and people took advantage of me whilst I was out of it. As I was lying on the floor quite literally dieing (It was heart medication) and a friend had given me a big glass of water to try and calm me down, it had actually filled it with vodka, and I had been beyond the point of knowing and would have downed the glass had another friend not realised and taken it away from me


She also gave me no end of dirty looks and comments when I told her about a girl I was going to see who was a friend...and meant nothing more than a friend, but that we would probably end up sleeping together. Again, that would have been 'wrong'. (Not important, but I never did go to see her in the end.)


Now I know this friend has a few times 'pleasured' a guy... so what, I let it pass...shes 16 it's not like shes the only one doing it...and shes never slept with anyone and wont...so hses not just being silly.

But then yesterday she goes to a party/sleepover....and not only does she end up so drunk she passes out for about 3 hours (strike 1) She also ends up in bed with soemone all night and claims they did everything BUT have sex (strike 2) ...and then when I tell her I think she went too far, and say I think so because I know if I had told her the story she would not have been happy...she stops talking to me. (strike 3)


Yeha, one very closed example..but it applies nicely, she gave me all that advice, then went against it all, and when I tell her she has done that...she wont take it...what is it with people like that?

Put simply:

Why can't 'you' either accept 'your' own advice back....accept 'your' advice was useless....or accept 'your' not that great a person. Why does it have to be 'me' who is wrong, for actually looking out for 'you' the same 'you' do for 'me'? For not wanting people to think 'your' easy and a slut so 'you' get used?



It's like trying to help a brick wall sometimes :bnghd:

Because it is always easy to point out the mistakes of others

Lemme give you a little cycle some people go through

Step 1: The face inner turmoil

Step 2: They then bury their problems down

Step 3: They bash others for issues because the emotional investment is very low when you give advice to a different person

Step 4: That advice manifests and eventually they realize they have the same problems

It's so easy to tell others but never easy to face yourself...

Is it fair? No
Does it suck? Yes

Sadly it is often part of life

-Kyo

reply to post by StevenDye


Just my opinion here... and I am not trying to criticize your concern, but would seem more the folly of youth than anything so dramatic.

“It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.”
-Aristotle

Don't take the quote above to a literal dance, lol. It is, basically, just offering that life-wisdom (not to be confused with intelligence or common sense) is hard to find in those moments of youthful indiscretion... when such is simply not yet available.

In a nutshell, consider your sources and the circumstances. These things will work themselves out as she (and you) grow with age.

Also, apply this experience to your book of life and later, you'll find yourself coming back to it when making decisions. You've already done quite well just by taking the matter to personal task.

Your journey has now begun

I think my big problem is..I remember being in that stage, and she was always the one who talked me out of doing something I'd regret later...

Now I see her getting to that stage, and no-one can get her to stop, and she will regret it at some point.

It's just frustrating that it's her own advice she turns down Even though I still thank her for doing it and looking out for me...so it was never bad advice.

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of use to one's self".
~Oscar Wilde

reply to post by StevenDye


You are in love with this "sister" of yours. You just typed up a long post on "people who can't take their own advice" but in reality you are insecure of your supposed friendship.

Seeing as the girl is 16 years old you're probably equally as young or a disturbed high school teacher.

reply to post by jimmyjohen


I am almost two years older than this girl and I am not in love with her, I cant honestly say that for two reasons.

1. I love someone else.
2. I DID have feelings like that for her a fair while ago, those feelings are gone.


I love her, but I am not 'in love' with her if you get me. As I said, she is like a sister.

It was indeed her actions that prompted me to write the long post yes, because she does mean an awful lot to me and it really irked me that I could see this happening and do nothing about it.

My Dad's a bit like that. He'll go on and on about a mistake I made, and then when he makes one I can't say anything cause otherwise he'll end up breaking furniture and spitefully bringing up all mistakes I've made in the past. Ah well, that's Dad, so I don't mind.

But I don't understand people like the girl you described. I always give out advice, always, and if someone gives it back to me when I'm in need of advice I just think 'Yeah, it's true, but I can't do it...' I wouldn't let something like that get to me enough to ruin a super close relationship.

Rama D. Filofax on friends and mistakes