I dont post often. I am a reader, a listener and researcher. Today.....I feel hopeless. I refrain from MSM..... I understand they are puppets and liars. I have empathy for mankind and our struggles against TPTB. My problem is that after all of this research with ATS being my stomping ground all I feel is HOPELESSNESS.

I used to be a Christian but due to the fact that I dont believe the lies they tell, I no longer qualify. I used to hold a steady job and go to college. Now I am a graphic designer from home. My daughters attended public school, now they are home schooled. I went to college for 3 years....gave that up. I use to drive a Mercedes....sold it and dont even have a liscense anymore. I dont have health care and dont care. I feel hopeless.....maybe not in life but at least at this moment.

I am a doer of good deeds. I love children and I love my family and I give more than I take. I have learned to listen more than talk. Although sometimes arrogant or egotistical I am learning to let go of superficialities and keep humility in my heart and on my tounge. I dont lie. I dont steal, have never murdered. Even though TODAY I made a decision that changed someones life and made them feel hope....I...feel hopeless.

I log onto ATS and read postings. The evil is more discussed. When I read postings that seem hopeful.....all of a sudden ATS members start to dig into the OP and destroy their beliefs and their thoughts. ATS members (some at least) spend soooo much time bashing the next members postings and being critical of the next mans thoughts that it is sickning. Aren't we supposed to be fighting AGAINST the very thing that I see being done.

I am tired. I am fed up. I am disgusted by the hate on this site and everywhere else and it had brought me to a boiling point. Everyone thinks they are smarter and better and WE ALL KNOW NOTHING. Spending soooo much time pretending to be smarter while you sit on your asses DOING NOTHING TO HELP. But then again....what can be done! I feel hopeless.

Everything is a conspiracy. I look for the truth in all things because everyone is a liar. Everyone has their motives but are the first to blame TPTB for the evil. Sick. The same people that bash their evil are the same people that adopt their ways and pretend to be better with no solution.

I love my children. And they ask questions about God and heaven and Jesus and I cant lie. I am teaching them to be hopeless as well. They dont want to believe the evil and they would rather believe the bull#. Can I blame them? sometimes it seems easier.....seems that my world would then become illuminated. But I know this is an illusion and I WONT FALL FOR IT. BUT....because of this I am hopeless.

I just want to live and then fly planet to planet. I often stare at the stars and imagine flying amonst them. I am not afraid to die. I am only afraid that the love I have given on earth will not be noticed. If heaven is a lie than so am I. HOPELESS

mplsbookworm


... never give up hope .
count your blessings . you have your health , a family , a job .
fight on , it could be a lot worse . Jesus loves you and yours .

I lost everything several times , even lived in a $50 car for 5 years ,
without a job , 90 miles from the nearest shop !

I even came back from that .
There is a reward for the good , eternal life of joy !!!!! Holdfast

...

ps .. try and ignore the lost

Thanks Radarloveguy...you are a rarity. Please excuse my misspellings and missed gramatical errors.... I was typing so fast I wasnt caring about being gramitically correct. I truly do appreciate your post. I wasnt expecting anyone to respond and wasnt truly looking for a response..... after reading yours I am thankful in knowing that there is one that can be commended tonite. I cant explain my feelings. I had a rather good day.. I just for some odd reason, feel disgusted with life and humanity.

Thanks for being hopeful in my midst of my garbage....I dont mean to bring love down....I only want it to grow but my heart although large seems not large enough. I want to hug the world, hold the evil in my arms and teach it true love. But hey who am I? Just a lady from MN trying to prove to the world that the truth is the only way.

Im tired of proving myself...and telling people where my mind is. I feel alone in a world of the lost. I am not lost. I have found my true self and what I believe in....but almost everyone around me contests it and calls me concieted. Im sick of preaching and trying to teach so I stopped and looked to my children. They dont understand. Sometimes, I just want people to SEE....SEE....SEE...and they wont. My parents wont, my husband wont. IDK.... As far as humanity goes I am hopeless

After it is revealed that the afterlife is a lie.... thousands of christians pour into the streets to complain that their good deeds will never get noticed. lawlz.

There are plenty of other religious teachings out there.... you can go and do what alot of ats'ers have done, you take peices of other religions and create your own! You dont have to give up on your fantasy of watching jesus take a shower. There are plenty of other metaphors.

o yeah p.s. i love you!

[edit on 21-11-2009 by Wertdagf]

I am not sure that you have any idea what my point is Vertdagf. See...this is what I mean. With all do respect what are you talking about? People spend soooo much time trying to disprove religion that they lose focus of what others are saying. I, my love, am not religious. But I love to love. And people like you who are trying to prove something to yourself by bashing other people, sheeple or not, are contributing to the evil that lurks the earth.

Why would I go and look for anyone or anything to make me whole or make me feel hope? I have no idea who hurt you or why you are in pain but my dear I am feeling down tonite and dont need your religious bashing crap responses that dont even relate. Watch Jesus take a shower? His cock doesnt interest me my love....if there ever was one. LMAO... children, children. You SEEM to fit in the category of the ATS'ers that need to take a love SHOWER and look and the mirror and start loving yourself. Why even reply? Do you want to honestly want debate or go anywhere with me on any topic relating to anything? You dont, you wont win. Love fills my heart. Hopeless fills my world. Love wins...haters die.

Ok...I just scrolled down to make sure I read what I think I did.... You love me? How? If you truly love you wouldnt accuse me of being full of fantasy which to me means full of sH#@!. I am not. And I love you too. I just dont have time for elementary school yard garbage. Im tooooo done with that. If you have an answer....holler at me. If you can help me to go to bed at night feeling hope for my children...talk to me. I look in their eyes and cry. Your religious hate is not worth me. I want to make a difference in the lives of at LEAST my children...and you my dear.... want to make you point. Wrong time, wrong thread.


* PS....I love you!

Originally posted by Wertdagf
After it is revealed that the afterlife is a lie.... thousands of christians pour into the streets to complain that their good deeds will never get noticed. lawlz.



[edit on 21-11-2009 by Wertdagf]

How can it ever be "revealed that the afterlife is a lie"...how can this be. Do you think Obama will conduct a breaking news segment and tell us about what he, you nor I know or wont know until we die? I dont get the idea of people debating things that they DONT KNOW. What is the fascination? You are running around the block in attempts to cross the street and I am on the other side responding to your garbage on ATS.

oh yeah and I love you

I too am at the point where I have no hope. Palin will be president in 2012 by a landslide. We are truly living the idiocracy, it is among us. The only thing that keeps me going is hope of disclosure, or visitation. Then everything will change and we can get off this rock, live in like minded colonies.. i would choose one that embraces art and literature.. I'm sure others would move to a colony that embraces duck hunting and porn. If disclosure does not come I hope for the singularity and the download of my consciousness into a 'matrix' of sorts where existence can be anything you want it to be. These are horrible times.. not because of hardship but because rationalists are losing the battle and we are headed straight to the gutter.

havok thanks sincerely for the reply. Dont feel for me although I appreciate the care. It is only for a day... I dont spend too much time down... I just felt a bit yucky and needed to express that.

You are absolutely right. We dont and wont know. SOOO TRUE! Its hard though when my kids expect me to. My daughter is having nightmares nightly about alien abductions and terrorist attacks. She wakes up EVERY night around 3 calling my name. I just got a little frustrated today and needed to let it out. Your words give me inspiration...your spirit is golden

Originally posted by reasonable
I too am at the point where I have no hope. Palin will be president in 2012 by a landslide.

Yeah..her or Arnie the Nazi jackass

Creepy world and creeps within it. I am barfing in my mouth thinking of the disgust that lurks. SICK!

[edit on 11/21/09 by mplsbookworm]

Originally posted by mplsbookworm
My daughter is having nightmares nightly about alien abductions and terrorist attacks. She wakes up EVERY night around 3 calling my name.

I bet alot of that has to do with todays T.V. programming.

Giving children nightmares. As a child, I used to get them to, but only about the things I watched coming out of that terrible box, spewing forth garbage and propaganda day in, and day out.

Think about it, if they only heard stories ot tales, and never saw the crazy pictures from the T.V., how would they know about it? Even to sub-conciously to dream about it.

Ignorant to the facts? Ignorant about what? Ignorant how? Explain? Again...so much garbage out of the mouths of people. I dont NEED anything. My children are great. Hope has nothing to do with love and if you would READ you would have learned that I am having a moment of hopelessness...not a lifetime. Although one whom even asks another if they are ignorant is one that definitely contributes to the garbage that fills the minds of the lost. I am thankful I am not lost. I wont judge you or even ask you if you are ignorant, frankly I dont care. My job...is to LOVE my dear...not condem. I dont tell my children any lies period. There is nothing to get through. We WONT get through...we will only strive. See people have this rainbow fantasy of the world one day being a damn peace retreat and that is not or will not ever be. There has to be an order or balance. So when you mention getting through I am not getting it....not at all. I am not struggling...I am not in debt or poverty stricken so the only thing there is to work towards is ultimate love. When one questions the next persons ignorance I come to the conclusion that one is suffering from something that they are inquiring about. I dont speak nor live ignorance. I live love.

I dont agree with you saying that never in history has it been the truth. I dont know what you mean by it, but living here and now is truth and that applies to the past as well. The lies come in when history gets distorted. Thats where false thoughts and theories occur. Truth is REAL.....

Immortality...technology around the corner...blah blah blah. I dont care to be immortal or technological. Not by anymeans my love. My mind and heart are wayyyy above earthly things. I am definitely in this world but not of it.

I bet alot of that has to do with todays T.V. programming.





Problem with this is we dont have television in our home. I wont allow society to raise my children so we have reading time opposed to tv. We gave that up when they grew out of Barney

Originally posted by reasonable
Palin will be president in 2012 by a landslide.

The most intelligent statement I have seen on ATS for a long time!!
There is hope!!

The real effort then will be to attempt to repair the damage Zero has done.

Hello from Michigan.....well actually I am in Puerto Rico at this time. I totally feel the same way at times.....I only have two questions regarding life, and nobody can answer them. Not one single person on this planet can answer my questions, that is if all current information is true and there are no hidden secrets. Here they are; 1) who are we? 2) why are we here? Two very simple questions, but yet nobody can give me the answers.
Hopelessness, comes from alot of different scenarios that play out in life. It could be a feeling of not being in control of our little worlds, not having the answers for our childrens questions, not feeling love and understanding around us and/or the evil that is growing around the world. I choose not to take the "I don't know" path.....it's more of an "I don't know, but damn it I want to know" path. The more hopeless I feel the more I dig for information.....But the one thing I don't waste emotions on is the government.....there is absolutely NO hope there.....it all needs to be reinvented, push the reset button, so to speak.
So, in closing, I have no brilliant wisdom or inspired words for you....only that you have good company.

Peace