posted on Nov, 17 2009 @ 09:40 PM
The Message was first reported on Wednesday Sept 9 2009 at 10:39 am on a website called abovetopsecret by someone with the member name
“pluckynoonez.” Plucky, as we may refer to her if we so please, did not at the time, nor does she now, claim authorship of the message. (It should
be noted, that, due to the intrinsic anonymity of the internet, the odds of Plucky being female is approximately one in one. It is presumed she is
female because of her sexy avatars and the fact that she seems predominately concerned with the trappings of the average fembot.) Plucky is not able
to confirm the authorship of the original thread, beyond finding a posting on another internet site called 4chan. The original posting said, in small
font, flashing red letters was “I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.” (More on this later....)
How is it then that we are able to claim that the Message was first reported by abovetopsecret and not 4chan? This is because the 4chan thread was a
temporary posting, designed to self destruct after only three viewings. One of the people who saw the post, admittedly quite by accident, was Plucky
Noonez. (She wouldn’t go into details, no matter how vehemently I threatened to have her professionally tickled.)
It is presumed that the first viewing would be that of the poster or at least, a poster’s accomplice. (To confirm the posts placement.) It remains
a mystery as to the third viewer, but whoever that was managed to save the source of the forums’ page that contains the html for the post, and it
was in the code that the message was hiding.
Excluding the code, and the previously mentioned sentence, the message in it’s entirety translates as folllows:
"All to see, learn in kind, everything. Any lending library that has integrity needs great service. Heralded intellects desire every secret. That
humans explore inside molecular particles offers realistic technologies and necessary time for realizing our most terrible happening ever. Our reason
differs in natural and rodomontade yawps."
Literally retarded, weird and vague, like deciphering code of someone who doesn't speak the language, the message itself seems, even now,
ridiculous. (Oh, and “rodomontade” means boastful and a “yawp” is a yell.) Plucky didn’t seem to think much of it at the time, her post
entitled, “The Message” only contained a link to the copied source on 4chan, the words you read above, along with the end tag “Anybody know what
this is about?” Within a few hours, in typical ATS fashion, she had a few responses.
The first response said, “What, no talk of panic sex? Second line.” (Which is a conspiracy on it’s own accord.)
The second response was this: “I think this is stupid. Anything 4chan does is a waste of time. There are a bunch of liers and geaks. I
remember this one time where these kids taught a dog to smoke and they took pictures of the doog smooking and put them upp on the net and everyone
that saw it thought there’s a good idea. And they taught there dogs to smoke, and the cases of dog lung cancer went up, A LOT!” (These responses,
while spelled poorly and grammatically terrifying shouldn’t scare you away from the power of the over-generalization.)
The third response was this: “Plucky, I think I’ve seen this before. It was impressed onto a parchment, like a pencil tracing. The
parchment hung in a cheap wooden frame in what could properly be called a truck stop in the middle of Poop Chute, Nowhere. Beside it was a framed,
black and white picture of a 1950's flatbed truck. On the back of that truck was a polar bear at least twenty feet tall. (I never again thought of
the parchment until now.) I don’t know if any of this helps, but interesting thread, S and F for you!”
The next day Plucky received a private U2U from an Administrator who shall remain nameless as I plan to keep my account. All it said was, “Your
thread has been removed.” There was no explanation as to why. Plucky, wrote the unnamed administrator asking why her thread had been removed. The
next day she got a two word response, “Drop it.” 5 seconds after reading the words, “Drop it.” her computer omitted the sour stench of hockey
gear and sulphur tablets and Plucky lost consciousness. She is now banned from ATS and if the rumours she told me are true, she died.
The questions raised by the message are obvious, but I leave any speculations to you. (Feel free to comment below.) Myself, being a writer and
philosopher , am concerned only with the truth. What I’m after are answers to the following:
1.) Did polar bears used to be bigger? Like, back in the fifties?
2.) Who has enough disposable income to be buying smokes for their dogs? Do these dogs need to get jobs? Do dogs that already have jobs, smoke
3.) Are they stealing smokes?
Warning: The reading of this post may cause pronounced big toe, uncontrollable sitting, loss of bones, excessive torso misplacement and a general
sense of paranoia, if symptoms persist please send me money.