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Psychological Question

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posted on Nov, 20 2009 @ 10:58 PM
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Originally posted by elaine
Hoarding is a mental disorder. I think it's caused by insecurity or fear.

You going through and throwing things away won't help her. She needs to decide to make a change for herself and to figure out the real reason for her hoarding behavior. Until then she will continue the way she is.


Spot on! It's like a drug addict in a way, they can't be forced to get help, they need to realize they need it and seek it out themselves... although in this situation it may be possible to talk her into going to talk to a psychologist/psychiatrist even if she doesn't want to go, and maybe after hearing from a professional what she has is a condition which can be helped with psycho-therapy sessions, she may want to get involved with it - knowing she probably doesn't want to live her whole life hoarding all these items. It's actually a form of OCD, correct me if I'm wrong... I have OCD, which is mostly more physical now since my spiritual awakening has completely changed my thought process (which was my main issue with OCD), which in turn has made my anxiety completely disappear which was hurting me SO much for about half of my life (if not all of it). I love it, I've never felt this amazing EVER even with my medications, this is something that I have experienced and I know for a fact as long as I keep doubt away (which is my main goal now) I will continue to feel this way forever.

Good luck to your friend, I hope she can get help and find peace within herself (although in her mind she may think what she does is completely fine, but I don't know her so I can't say for definite, she may feel very overwhelmed with it all, I just don't know).




posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 01:17 AM
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also wonder if she doesn't need some healthy affectioni--touching her hand fittingly; rubbing her shoulders and heck; hugs etc. It is almost like her inner person is very . . . touch starved, emotional intimacy starved or some such. Maybe I"m off base there but you would know.
reply to post by BO XIAN
 


I always hug her and mess with her like that, your right she isnt a feely touchy person, I am LOL, she is always telling me your to touchy feely, and we laugh shes used to it with me now .And many times she will initiate the hug goodbye now that i think about it, Humph. She is coming over tonite and i have the posts and websites ready to show her, Im really nervous about this, I am glad for the headway i made so far but i dont want her to backslide on me, I dont want to push her, But i really feel she should read the clinical aspects of this, She really is one to believe in things she reads . Its kinda weird but true , I just said i had something to show her. So im nervous. Thanks Hon. talk to you soon

[edit on 21-11-2009 by femmefreud]



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 01:33 AM
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since my spiritual awakening has completely changed my thought process
reply to post by highlyoriginal
 


What do you mean exactly Hon ,You mean you found the Lord ? Oh and congratulations on feeling wonderful , You are lucky to have found a solution, From what i have been told ,Just as you said its going to be a rough road for her. And i believe a lengthy one too, Not going to happen overnite, But i feel like i cant let this idle for too long either, I was sent a real good OCD link that specificallyn talks about hoarding and its underlying causes.
It describes her to the tee, so ive highlighted somethings in it for her along with the wonderful input from fellow ats"rs and im praying for the best. And thank you also for you kind words, and whatever you do keep your wonderful attitude .. Wish me luck

[edit on 21-11-2009 by femmefreud]



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 01:46 AM
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reply to post by ladyinwaiting
 


Thanks Hon, for the kind words, I really feel good about this, Her daughter and i talked about what i proposed to her as a solution to clean it up, She was so happy she even said she would help too keep it up, And do normal chores like dust and vacum. whicjh is somthing that cant be done now, ( she did not offer to help with the task of the cleanup lol ) . But the offer to do chores coming from the little teenager she is, just wrenched at my heart, if you knew her you would know what im saying, definetely out of character, so im thinking if i mention this too it may help my friend along, I expect her anytime so wish me luck ... I will let everone know how it went one way or the other. Thanks so much.



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 10:34 AM
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reply to post by femmefreud
 


In terms of the reading . . . one article . . . no more than 2 or 3 would be quite sufficient. I'd probably start with one and see her response.

Better bite sized steps and progress vs too big a step and regression.

I think you do well to trust your instincts.

In terms of the touch . . . many times those who are 'least touchy-feely' are MOST starved for it . . . as one finds once they get over the blockage.

Again, on that, too, I think you do well to trust your instincts. You have done splendidly with your sensings so far--go with them. Trust them. You love her dearly and want what's best for her and her kids--so that makes your instincts/sensings all the more likely to be unfettered by noise.

CONGRATS ON YOUR GREAT PROGRESS SO FAR. Thanks for the update.

BTW, I'd think the articles of a more clinical nature from the net would be the docs to start with. I'd treat most of the stuff on ATS as your own background sounding board stuff. I don't know how much, if any, of that I'd share with her.



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 02:00 PM
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reply to post by femmefreud
 


What I meant by my spiritual awakening is I've opened my mind and psyche by using astral projection & and OBE that was incredible. I still have much to learn but I know energy is the source of everything now, and that is just the basis to it all... And I've confirmed that love is very important to us as human beings, and much so after we pass over into the 2nd sphere (where the dead go).

No problem for the kind words, and if you need any more information on OCD, nobody probably knows more about it than me since, like I stated before, I have been haunted by for my whole life (for the most part). Just send me a U2U if you have anymore questions.



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 04:26 PM
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BTW, I'd think the articles of a more clinical nature
reply to post by BO XIAN
 

Thats what i did BO, Before she got here i went through the clinical material i had and decided the one that described the symptoms and the underlying causes, along with the descriptions of the hoarded items, I thought that was important for now, You are somthing else BO, What you just posted is exactly how i handled it, You are too good... I sat and thought about what i have learned this past week and what i know of her and how she is about things.
What felt right was to do this slowly do not be pushy, do not throw to much at her and dont say to much. I didnt want to scare her away , i knew no matter what she has to be the one controlling this venture, So i first had a couple youtube videos on animals and some other things we looked at, And i kind of brought it up like oh and look what i came across, I opened the link and started to scroll down to where it kinda got imtto things , and she stopped me and said go to the beginning what is it , And then she seen the word hoarding. The look was a mixture of many things.
SORRY I WILL BE RIGHT BACK, SOMEONE AT DOOR, DIDNT MEAN TO POST ALREADY.

[edit on 21-11-2009 by femmefreud]

[edit on 21-11-2009 by femmefreud]

[edit on 21-11-2009 by femmefreud]



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 05:30 PM
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reply to post by BO XIAN
 



BTW, I'd think the articles of a more clinical nature from the net would be the docs to start with. I'd treat most of the stuff on ATS as your own background sounding board stuff. I don't know how much, if any, of that I'd share with her.

[

She said before i read this i want to say one thing, I know i have problem , i know its out of control, i know you mean well , but this is somthing i have to do on my own, She said you have me motivated and have helped put a plan in place . I will let you know when i get to the point i need you. I about did the Happy dance, and told her thats all i wanted to say is im here i will sit on my hands untill you say otherwise, Witha that said she started reading the site and said a few thing s like thats me oh geez, thats me alright and we laughed, so i thought id leave her alone with the rest of it, and lo and behold she read the whole thing and proceeded to take a rating test that was given, and she even asked my opinion on a few of the behaviors they were asking , and she finished all 3 tests and added results and she was way over the extreme levels . She really surprised me by taking it further than i thought. so when she went to leave , i said now I have I thing to ask of you , REmember that you have a time frame here and you want to acomplish alot. so please get started asap . so that your not stressing at the last minute, So thats my concern now that she will , just churn and not really accomplish . But ii will hope for the best, and i thank you all for everything. and your giving time to help me with this.... I will keep everyone posted.



posted on Nov, 21 2009 @ 05:45 PM
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reply to post by highlyoriginal
 


Wow, Hon I would like to learn more of what your talking about, You seem to radiate your happiness , even though i cant see or hear your voice, there is somthing about you that jumps out at me. It makes me say i want that. And your openess is wonderful. I hope to see you around Hon. Oh i almost forgot the first thing my friend said after reading the first paragraph on the hoarding site was OCD i dont have OCD, because they explain it as a form of it, I calmly said we all have some form of OCD in us.. And thats what hoarding is considered. a form of it along with other underlying causes ,genetics and such. She left it at that and read on, I seen a sort of acceptance wash over her. and she stayed a long while after that and we did not bring it up again untill i walked her out. So i have a good and hopeful feeling, But i also know it could go the other way ... so thanks again and its nice knowing i have you and BO XIAN there for me.



posted on Nov, 23 2009 @ 04:16 AM
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reply to post by femmefreud
 


This happiness that is radiating from me is amazing, and for people be able to notice it through my posting/writing means it's really taken hold of my psyche. My OCD problems are mostly with my thought process, and not only has that disappeared and now I'm on a very positive, energy filled, path in my life which I believe has been awaiting me for very long, and it will continue to keep being paved as long as I keep stepping forwards... no taking steps backwards, that will just unwind what has just been captured. So what would be the point?

This new attitude of mine has been leading me to learn a lot of new things, not just about life and such, but about ME in general. Things I never knew about myself... I've become very self aware and it's something I cherish, I'm used to helping others before myself... well it's time to help myself. Once my consciousness is at a level I can control much better, I'll take a step to the side (no steps back!) and help others out along my way too enlightenment.

Regarding more about your friend, here is some informational websites and such that I have compiled for a previous thread on another website... hope you find some use for it all.

[B]Anxiety Links[/B]
Very good anxiety website lots of information - www.anxietycentre.com...
Anxiety FAQ - www.panic-attacks.co.uk...
Another Anxiety FAQ - www.npadnews.com...
How to get help - www.nimh.nih.gov...
Everything from anxiety to addiction - www.milestonesranch.com...
Anxiety Disorders Info - www.nimh.nih.gov...
Educate yourself on anxiety here - www.conqueranxiety.com...
Everything you need to know about anxiety - mentalhealth.samhsa.gov...
Anxiety info from news to meds - www.healthcentral.com...
Different Anxiety Disorder Info - www.effexorxr.com... =click
Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety Relief - www.helpguide.org...
Anxiety Definitions, Support and Help Index - www.anxietynetwork.com...
Introduction to Anxiety Disorders - www.mentalhelp.net...
Panic Disorder - panicdisorder.about.com...
Anxiety Explanations and Info - www.apahelpcenter.org...
Free Anxiety Cures and Self Help Treatment - www.anxietymadewell.com...

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder discussed in a video HERE

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Links (OCD is a type of anxiety disorder)
7 pages about OCD everything you need to know very informative - /l7v7hp
OCD Basics - www.epigee.org...
Symptoms, Causes, Complications etc... - www.mayoclinic.com...
Lots of OCD Info - emedicine.medscape.com...
Anxiety Disorders - www.surgeongeneral.gov...
Self Help, What is OCD with tons of info - www.anxietybc.com...
Treatment of OCD - www.psychguides.com...
Clinical Review on OCD - www.bmj.com...
Treatment of OCD - www.surgeongeneral.gov...
Support groups, treatment and much more - www.ocfoundation.org...

Panic Disorder
Panic disorder info and treatment - www.nimh.nih.gov...
Answers to questions about panic disorder - www.apa.org...
Lots of information pertaining to panic disorder - www.nlm.nih.gov...
Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder Info - www.mayoclinic.com...
Resource site for Panic Attack Info - www.anxietypanic.com...
Panic Disorder Info Sheet - www.psychnet-uk.com...[/url
Panic Attacks, Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia - [url]http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/mentalhealth/anxiety/137.html



posted on Nov, 23 2009 @ 04:34 AM
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reply to post by highlyoriginal
 


As i said its nice to see someone truly happy, You stay that way toots, It sounds like already, many of your years have been taken by unhappiness, dont let it steal anymore .. And Thank you so much hon for the links ,your awesome to have taken the time to research and post this for me... A complete stranger... That speaks volumes to me. Thanks i will be in touch .. and will check the links out asap....



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 03:06 PM
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I've been watching the new Hoarders series on TV. Timely.



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 05:38 PM
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reply to post by seagrass
 


Really ? Can you let me know when it may be on again, well i guess that would depend on time zones and im in so cal and i have time warner cable , So did u find it interesting ? I would give anything to have my friend see the program, maybe that would hit home some how, Shes still lagging , I seen her today , Just making excuses for things, And i didnt bring it up she did, Im sort of dissappointed but not ready to give upon her yet... I just didnt make a big deal about it. Id say its tmely lol, i kleep a eye out for the program .. Thanks seagrass.......

[edit on 25-11-2009 by femmefreud]



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 06:41 PM
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posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 07:36 PM
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reply to post by seagrass
 


OMG, Thank You so much , cant get any better than this for some realization. Your the best , a doll for remembering .....xxxooo

[edit on 25-11-2009 by femmefreud]



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 07:36 PM
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sorry so excited i double posted lol sorry

[edit on 25-11-2009 by femmefreud]



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 08:14 PM
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reply to post by seagrass
 


From what ive seen so far seagrass , Thank God , shes not as bad as them.



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 08:22 PM
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Originally posted by femmefreud
reply to post by seagrass
 


From what ive seen so far seagrass , Thank God , shes not as bad as them.
They are extreme cases, and it does progress. Hopefully your friend will see that it is a road of doom. That the void can never be filled that way.
We all look for ways to fill it. Some are better at it because they pick a more "suitable" way, such as sport addictions and work.



posted on Nov, 25 2009 @ 11:07 PM
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reply to post by femmefreud
 


Thanks for the update.

I think it may be an error to let it slide when she brings it up or when she doesn't.

You can turn to her, look her in the eye and say something lie . . .

Mildred, I think you know better. You are rationalizing and I think you know it. You are excusing hurting your daughter; hurting your relationship with her and discouraging your son and older daughter as well as putting your own health and safety at risk. That's the truth, Mildred. Whitewashing it will not remove the truth.

As long as she is slipping and sliding and not taking the bull by the horns herself, I think you have little choice but to keep her feet to the fire.

You may ebb and flow in HOW you do it . . . one contact gently, warmly. The next more firmly. But I think you have no choice but to lovingly keep her feet to the fire.

imho, of course.



posted on Nov, 27 2009 @ 12:46 PM
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Hi everyone i dont know if anyone has been checking back.... I am so frustrated with my friend..Or maybe myself for letting myself get this way. Yesterday was Thanksgiving , The last 3 years or so my friend and her girls spent it here in my home , we all know it would be impossible in hers, This year my daughter had it in her new home and they were invited and her i and i were also mutually invited to a friends that lives about 45 min away. She decided on the friends , which was good because it was sort of in the mountains and they also have kids her daughters age. she was told 12.00 was dinner even though 2.00 was the actual time, they are aware of her tardiness . well at 11.00 or so i called and her daughter picked up sounding very agitated, Wheres mom i said , shes down in the garage cleaning it and she supposed to be in shower and getting ready. I did my best to calm her down told her that 2.00 was the actual time. and that i would maybe see them up there later if i got through at my daughters early.
Well around 3.30 i called my friends cell no answer, called the daughters , she picked up and was in tears they still had not left the house.
CONTINUED...
[edit on 27-11-2009 by femmefreud]

[edit on 27-11-2009 by femmefreud]

[edit on 27-11-2009 by femmefreud]




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