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Is a lifestyle suicide possible without really trying?

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posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 02:26 PM
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(The following is a parody)
I'm feeling suicidal now and again. And I'm wondering, what is the fastest lifestyle method of self-inflicted death that is not illegal, or does not count as "suicide" in most religions. I''l try three popular options (realizing that a combination may do the trick):
1. Alcohol and tobacco. The alcohol always makes the passing of the day better. To the correct setting and music basic yoga contortions become lethal. Smoking takes too long, unless you can accidentally set the house on fire! Alternatively, if you live in the same vicintity, tell your Pa how much you always hated him. Punch him once and withdraw to see the promised land.
2. Disease and the road. Regular germs, bacteria and viruses take too long. Get on all fours and lick the road! Before ya know it, you're just another speed hump.
3. Take a bathrobe, take all the antihistamines the doctor has given ya, along with every herbal, homeopathic #e in the house. Go to the closest public place and yell in Arabic. Bang, bang, bang - hotdog it's all over!
-Any other dethvice?




posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 02:46 PM
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reply to post by halfoldman
 

Since I got Internet, and especially ATS I'm getting really fat. Two-three more years and I'm morbidly obese. From there it's not long till your heart gives in, or some other organ.
It's definately a "safer" option towards death - gonna raid the fridge NOW!



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 03:08 PM
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The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

You could always go to a really rough biker bar and sing this song continuously at the top of your lungs at closing time...





As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.


*edit - Big Brother demands spellcheck.


[edit on 11/10/09 by GENERAL EYES]



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 03:29 PM
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I researched this topic years ago when I thought it was all over when a cancer reappeared. After an extensive investigation into all possible methods of freeing myself from this mortal life, I couldn't find any appealing methods that didn't involve pain and suffering or a big mess for someone to clean up afterwards (that's not the way to go). So, I came up with my own idea. Take a large plastic bag and a tank of N2O and crawl inside, seal it shut, punch a few small holes to lets out the oxygen, open the tank of N2O, and laugh yourself to death. Eventually you will pass out and suffocate while you sleep.


Anyhow, the cancer went away (calcified or something) and now I'm completely healthy. Still got the plastic bag and tank of N2O thought just in case. Make me an offer and it's your.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:10 PM
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reply to post by Divinorumus
 

Not bad, thinking more, put on your drag while totally drunk, walk to the Good ol' Boys' bar, and grab a crotch. You'll either get your head knocked off or an STD, either way, it's a winner!



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:20 PM
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Get ahold of some old glass mercury thermometers crack em open and use the magic candy liquid inside as facial moisturizer. Sun bathe all hours of the day and at your house make sure you change your lightbulbs out with these
cgi.ebay.com... 52
cgi.ebay.com...

They are x-ray tubes, or better yet just hook ten of them to shine on you while you sleep.
Unplug your fridge and continue to shop normally then only eat the rotten stuff.
Only go to the bathroom in your own house, but do not use the toilet just kind of do it as you walk around like a goat does. Over time you could play a game where a friend blind folds you, i call if "Poo or food" it is a tasting game. If you have an older house you might have asbestos on your celing in that case shave a little bit off and use it to sweeten your rotten food or to throw on the waste that you are leaving on the floor. You can also try small minor exploratory surgery on yourself every couple days, haven't you always wanted to see your own heart beat? Im sure you can find out how to do it on wikipedia or yahoo answers.
Radiator fluid plus sugar (or asbestos) is pretty much the same as gator-aid and will stop you from over heating AND freezing to death. Some malls have defibrillators near the fire alarms hang around those and fake heart attacks while holding your breath and pointing to it.


[edit on 10-11-2009 by zaiger]

[edit on 10-11-2009 by zaiger]



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:30 PM
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reply to post by zaiger
 


Radiator fluid actually tastes pretty good without anything. Kind of tastes like green apple. No i didn't try much just a dab on my finger, but it said on the back that it my taste good to animals and humans and to avoid drinking it. That got my weird mind thinking so i tried it. I would never do it again though.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:34 PM
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reply to post by Lichter daraus
 


www.justicedenied.org...
apparently babies go nuts over the stuff.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:38 PM
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You could always just hold your breath waiting for 'Disclosure".



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:39 PM
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Apple seeds are deadly if you eat enough. I read they do not grow apple trees in mental hospitals.

Suicide is still suicide.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:40 PM
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nutmeg...

I'm sure that's legal



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:40 PM
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reply to post by zaiger
 


That is insane seriously, why would anyone poison their child?



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:42 PM
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Originally posted by GypsK
nutmeg...

I'm sure that's legal




Nutmeg=nasty 3 day hangover. Wouldnt even bother trying that one...



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:43 PM
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reply to post by Lichter daraus
 


Im not sure maybe the person was making some kind of political statement against bad babies.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:45 PM
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Originally posted by Lichter daraus
reply to post by zaiger
 


That is insane seriously, why would anyone poison their child?


Well, why would anyone send their sons of to Vietnam or Iraq?
Yeah, it is insane.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:45 PM
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Originally posted by andy1033
Apple seeds are deadly if you eat enough. I read they do not grow apple trees in mental hospitals.

Suicide is still suicide.


Easiest way to go, if people need to know.

But no one should commit suicide.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:47 PM
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Originally posted by halfoldman

Originally posted by Lichter daraus
reply to post by zaiger
 


That is insane seriously, why would anyone poison their child?


Well, why would anyone send their sons of to Vietnam or Iraq?
Yeah, it is insane.




Wasnt that a disicion of the person going to war, or did parents really make that desicion for them?



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 04:55 PM
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reply to post by andy1033
 


I used to eat apple seeds all the time and im fine, i also ate glue and stickers

I would also like to add cut a hole in your microwave door and run it all day to heat your house.

[edit on 10-11-2009 by zaiger]



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 05:05 PM
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reply to post by zaiger
 


Forget Nutmeg everyone, you'll get horribly sick with a thumping headache and a wierd, disappointing high. Rather, take off the rubber lining of the microwave. When you can blow-dry your hair in front of it, you've probably got one foot in the grave - persevere!
Watch "Banged Up Abroad" for tips, fly to Columbia and tape rolls of white powder around your beer-belly and extremities. Swallow some condoms.
Then, spite yourself and everyone else and fly straight to Saudi Arabia.
If all fails, pull out the mini-flak of Whisky you stole from the plane.
That should secure a public beating and beheading.



posted on Nov, 10 2009 @ 05:20 PM
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reply to post by halfoldman
 

Suicidal women: fly to the Sudan or some area with strict Sharia law. Stand on a street-corner wearing trousers, with your facial covering "loose". Eventually, you're likely to get raped.
The sentence will be stoning for seducing those poor, helpless men. Your parents will be so upset - you little minx!



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