Massachusetts Man Says He Was Fired for Telling Colleague Her Gay Marriage Is Wrong

Well just read this for yourself. I would love to get feedback on how people view this.

Vidala said he felt "intentionally goaded" by the manager to comment on her relationship.

"She knew how I felt about homosexuality," he said. "When you talk to someone about something like that, you want their support. She was kind of looking into my eyes for that social cue for me to say, 'I'm happy for you.' But I really couldn't feel happy for her."

This guy gets fired for speaking his religious views. So does this mean we can fire people for talking about Allah all the time at work?

I guess now days you cannot even speak your mind unless it is ran through the Politically Correct filter.

Source

[edit on 7-11-2009 by HotSauce]

the link to the source doesnt work

i would really like to know what he actually said on the matter and how he was goaded.

[edit on 7-11-2009 by ELECTRICkoolaidZOMBIEtest]

These sorts of topics should not arrise in the first place at your work. He's not wrong for expressing his opinion, she isn't wrong for asking for it.

However they are both wrong for actually engaging in this kind of activity in a workplace setting.

Being PC is unfortunetly almost a necessity in today's workplace when you look a the ammount of different cultures and beliefs you interact with everyday.

I don't agree with it, I think we should eliminate PC and return to freedom of speech, but that can only happen when everybody isn't willing to kill each other over our enterpretation of God.

~Keeper

Originally posted by ELECTRICkoolaidZOMBIEtest
the link to the source doesnt work

i would really like to know what he actually said on the matter and how he was goaded.

[edit on 7-11-2009 by ELECTRICkoolaidZOMBIEtest]

Thanks my man. It is all fixed now.

reply to post by tothetenthpower


Yeah I think it is a sad state of affairs when you cannot share your opinion because we have become a world full of oversensitive tattle tails. We are regressing to a world full of first graders.

Just a few things in the article that I want to poing out.

"I see, like all real Christians, homosexuals as people who, like me, are sinners and need to be told the truth in a loving way," he said. "In this situation, I took issue with the behavior. I think it's lunacy to call that type of behavior marriage in any kind of form. I had to express that I'm intolerant of that behavior. It's a love-the-sinner, hate-the-sin kind of deal."

Well this is flat out just...silly. Nobody 'needs' to express anything.

He said he then left the store briefly to visit the airport's chapel before returning.

"I found it offensive that she repeatedly brought it up," Vidala said. "By the fourth time she mentioned it, I felt God wanted me to express how I felt about the matter, so I did. But my tone was downright apologetic. I said, 'Regarding your homosexuality, I think that's bad stuff.'"

If she did mention it four times, what was she looking for? Applause? He didn't approach it with much Tact either I suppose. It must be ok, since he probably asked God for permission..

"She knew how I felt about homosexuality," he said. "When you talk to someone about something like that, you want their support. She was kind of looking into my eyes for that social cue for me to say, 'I'm happy for you.' But I really couldn't feel happy for her."

So he states she "knew" about how he felt, yet the beginning of the article states this:

Brookstone store at Boston's Logan Airport after a conversation he had with a manager from another Brookstone store who was visiting the location.

She was just visiting, they could not have known each other that well. And I'm gay, but the first thing I bring up in a conversation is usually the weather when I meet new people, not who I am married to.

~Keeper





[edit on 11/7/2009 by tothetenthpower]

[edit on 11/7/2009 by tothetenthpower]

The workplace is not the environment to push anyone's political or religious views. Honestly the guy had no business telling anyone his opinion on their relationship unless he was asked.

Most companies would handle that with a write up and perhaps some counseling on appropriate workplace practices. If he was fired instantly then he may have had a previous issue or write ups for something.

If he was fired with no previous discipline history the employer went too far.

Its really not hard to find a balance on these things. Religion needs to stay at home and in the church. The same thing goes for sexuality, it belongs at home, not in a parade on the street.

If we can't respect each other's rights and limit our own intrusions then no one will have any rights to anything when its done. We'll all be seeing this in the new hate crimes law in the years to come.

reply to post by tothetenthpower


I agree. I don't run around screaming I am a heterosexual when I first meet people, usually never. Well if she kept brining it up and he disagreed with it, he is eventually going to speak out whether it be beause he thinks God wanted him to or it was just aggravating him.

If someone keeps telling me they cheat on their wife and its great, should I be fired for saying I think cheatiing on his wife is wrong?

reply to post by HotSauce

If someone keeps telling me they cheat on their wife and its great, should I be fired for saying I think cheatiing on his wife is wrong?

Obviously not but that's a different situation all together. Being faithfull doesn't go in the same category as I don't agree with your lifestyle for some odd reason I think.

In any case, I think the employer went a little too far, but that's probably cause the woman in question held more cards and made the story sound a bit inflamed, or he's downplaying his behaviour on the matter.

Either way somebody is lying.

~Keeper

reply to post by tothetenthpower


Well I do agree with you that it seems like someone is lying and he doesn't help his case by saying "God told me too". It just makes him look crazy.

Actually, I misread the article.

If it's true she brought the matter up four times then I consider that asking for his opinion.

If he's going to be disciplined then she should have been also. In this case they're both wrong.

Having been a Christian my entire life I feel like it's OK to say that the whole thing about "Witnessing" to other people needs to be dropped. Save it for people who ask for it, not for anyone you "feel" needs it.

That concept always struck me as being a sin. Who are you to decide who needs correction from Jesus?

If its performed only by explicit invitation there will never be these kinds of issues.

its the chicks fault anyway.. don't solicit an opinion you don't want to hear.

reply to post by ecoparity


Yeah I have to agree that it doesn't do much good to witness to people that don't want to be witnessed too. I have never really cared for being witnessed to, but I wouldn't have ran screaming to human resources about it. I would have just told him to STFU.

reply to post by CoffinFeeder


Agreed. What I have noticed with my interaction wth gay people I know, which doesn't mean it is all homosexuals, is that they crave acceptance. Then if they mention they are gay or gay married and you try to be nice and don't say anything like your mama taught you they keep brining it up.until you comment. Then when your comment isn't sheer joy about the subject they get offened.

[edit on 7-11-2009 by HotSauce]

"In this situation, I took issue with the behavior. I think it's lunacy to call that type of behavior marriage in any kind of form. I had to express that I'm intolerant of that behavior.

i could see why someone would take offense to that type of reaction.
im not sure how he was compelled.

"I did say I regard that lifestyle as deviant, as in deviating from the norm

ive never heard anyone use deviant as in 'deviating from the norm' outside of a sociology classroom. the connotation is important, deviant generally has a negative meaning to it.

Let's make an infinite list of allowable actions in every possible situation in every possible life so that there is no more chance of anyone ever getting their feelings hurt.

reply to post by HotSauce


That's why you try to treat "them" just like anyone else. Smile, say great and ask how long they've been together.

You don't have to like it but if your claim they are looking to shock people is true you've handled it correctly and if they crave "acceptance" you've been a decent person and given it to them.

You don't have to like Gay people or even feel comfortable around them but you do have to be tolerant. Do you go around making sure you tell everyone exactly how you feel or think about them?

I know I sure don't. Then again I can't stand people in general so I've learned to just keep my mouth shut. That's what forums are for, to say all those things you can't say in real life.

Originally posted by heyo
Let's make an infinite list of allowable actions in every possible situation in every possible life so that there is no more chance of anyone ever getting their feelings hurt.

They used to teach social grace as part of becoming an adult in society. There are rules for everything.

I don't know when it became so acceptable to be "course" as part of being American or "modern" but where I came from Moms teach their kids how to behave in public.

A lot of it is just common sense.

The minute you feel like you can speak a certain way to a group of people just because of who or what they are you might just be acting like a bigot.

You don't have to like them or what they do but you still treat everyone with respect and you probably won't have any problems like losing your job or getting your ass kicked in public by a gay man / woman.

That goes for the woman in question also. If you don't get an answer the first time you might want to assume they are trying to be polite and let it go (if she did indeed keep pushing the issue).

[edit on 7-11-2009 by ecoparity]

Sad thing is that if he was fired for saying he was gay then he would be a millionare.

Since he was fired for saying he doesn't agree with gay marriage all he will become is broke.

It has zip to with free speech or PC.
It's a simple as respecting others beliefs.
Work is not a platform for people to express their religious beliefs.
As an employer I have the right to maintain a stable environment, I pay people to produce for my business , any intefrence in that makes somebody an unproductive employee, and I will terminate them.
Express your religion outside of my employment, it's not part of of your job description and I don't pay you to do that.
My business does not exist to further your self expression in any way , shape or form.