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Lessons Learned. Best Advice Wanted for 18 year old son.

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posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 04:28 PM
Hi ATS friends-
My son is turning 18 this week and I need help with a book I am making him. I would appreciate any lessons learned or best advice that you would be willing to share.

My book to him includes advice on what not to do, and what to do in life. In addition, I want him to know things he didn't learn in school- like there are UFO's, war makes money, and how to be successful.

I would deeply appreciate any assistance, words of wisdom or insights you may have. The individuals on ATS are wise beyong their years.

Thanks everyone.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 04:35 PM
Great idea to write up a book for your son. I say tell him to never stop learning, learn to manage his time, learn to save and invest, and make sure he knows the lyrics to Lynard Skynards (spelling?) song "Simple Man".

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 04:37 PM
An admirable quest, for sure

I'd say the one thing i wanted my own children to learn.

There's 3 simple rules for getting through life in the simplest way possible...

1. You have the free will and ability to do anything you please.

2. Never, under any circumstances, interfere in the free will of another (this tempers rule 1).

3. Always, under every circumstance, take personal responsibility for your actions.

If you can get those down pat, you're smooth sailing

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 04:37 PM
Always make your own mind up, do not let any person, or news channel, or political speach cloud your judgment. (you are allowed to agree with it/them if you decide that it is the truth)


The drunker you are, the less your dancing will impress the ladies.

[edit on 3/11/2009 by Acidtastic]

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 04:39 PM
-That the best education is the one you give yourself
-That not everyone is out for his best interests
-That there is ALWAYS more below the surface than it seems
-That the beatles were right...."In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 04:57 PM
Those topics could be mentioned

Self-Reliance, Stoicism, Charity or Altrusim, Picking up Girls and choosing a girlfriend or wife, Psychology bias, Character, Social Intelligence, Friends and networking, etc...

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:03 PM
First off, that's a really great idea for a gift to an 18 year-old. Kudos!

As far as advice, my two cents would be; trust your instincts, suspect authority, do unto others, accept personal responsibility, keep an open mind and above all... always have a second opinion when objects of affection and intoxicants are involved

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:05 PM
I cant believe nobody has mentioned this one yet:

Above all else, DENY IGNORANCE

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:10 PM
reply to post by lostviking

The Best advice I have for your son as well as mine is this ,

Nothing is free. Read the terms and conditions.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:13 PM
Respect your family, respect your friends and don't trust anyone in a uniform.

Oh and splitting up with a girl you love will REALLY hurt.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:14 PM
reply to post by lostviking

Star my friend.

My daughter will turn 11 this month and the wife and I just found that we will be blessed with another child due in June.

I try to teach my daughter some of lifes little lessons every chance I get. Although these may sound cliche', they are always the ones I try to present to her in relation to the situation.

1) Always Forgive. Never Forget
2) Learn something new everyday. Teach someone something new everyday. Never stop learning.
3) Never judge a person by first impressions or by their looks.
4) Respect EVERYONE, until they deem themselves unrespectable.
5) Don't sweat the small stuff.
6) In the end, it's all small stuff.
7) Cuts and Bruises will always heal, but some words will damage the spirit and soul beyond repair.
8) That which you give out, will be the same as what you get back.
9) The meaning of life is to Live, Love, Learn, and Grow.
10) If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

I don't know if any of those are what you were looking for, but so far they have been very helpful along this road of Fatherhood.

[edit on 3-11-2009 by Detailed Perfection]

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:16 PM
yeah... i got a few lessons learned from personal experience.

1: never be afraid to say no. i know that it is easy to find yourself in a situation with new people and in order to make oneself likeable we tend to do things to accomidate others that dont feel comfortable. say no to things you dont want to do and even a fe wyou do want to. in the end it leads to others having more respect for your oppinion and less of a chance of being used.

2: dont do drugs.... excessively. sounds cliche and like not good advice, but we all know that drugs are out there in one form or another. your son will encounter them along the way and in different circumstances. running away from them screaming is not the answer. you have to understand the beast before you can make the decision to stay away. this does not mean for sure go try it, but you have to take a moderate stand on it, otherwise you will forever misunderstand the nature of it and be less able to teach future generations.

3: apply lesson number 2 to alchohol. same thing.

4. learn to be brutally honest with yourself and others to the point that you almost offend yourself. honesty is so important and i know that it is easy to miss out on that until its too late and you have burned your bridges. call it like you see it, no matter what.

i read through all the other lessons, and they are good general lessons. your son is going to be immersing into a realm of strangers and new experiences. they can be overwhelming at best sometimes.

and last lesson learned....

tell him how much you love him and that you will always be there for him no matter what decisions he makes. make him know that no matter where he is in life or what mistakes and consequences he is facing that you will stand next to him and face them with him. that no matter what he does or how dissapointed he thinks you are, he needs to know that you will always be there, through the good and the bad. write this to him. dont just assume he knows this, he probably doesnt understand the magnitude of a parents love. i know it has taken me years and years, and i only wish i would have know before.

-best of luck

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:16 PM
Be very careful how you present your book to him, in fact you may not want to present these in the same sequence.

war makes money, and how to be successful

But if I had to do it all over again the best advice I would give him/myself is: very close attention to people's body language and develop your abilities to read people. This way you'll be able to pick up on their mannerisms and detect when they are telling a whopper or being sincere.
You basically become a walking lie detector, like mentalist, Marc Salem.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:19 PM
Adult Toys are more FUN then Baby Toys.

Self worth is more valuable then being validated by a woman.

Be ONE - before you even attempt to be TWO

Office parties are never parties - - they are personal evaluations.

Don't fall through life - Choose it.

Choose your addiction - education is a good one.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:27 PM
Goto college in a different country then you were raised in.

Don't get married until you're at least 30.

Read a lot of books.

Be nice.

Oh and splitting up with a girl you love will REALLY hurt.

I second this. That one is important

[edit on 3-11-2009 by silver tongue devil]

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:34 PM
reply to post by lostviking

Well, something that I've learned is pretty simple, but invaluable.

Whenever you're in a tough situation, and you can't find an answer, just take a step back and try to think of what you're going through, from an outside perspective.

lol, what I'm saying is, when you have an emotional attachment to someone or something, and it appears to be going to hell, sometimes the best answers come from those that can think clearly from having no attachments to the experience.

Also, being calm, collected and smart is the best way to go in pretty much all situations

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:39 PM
reply to post by lostviking

1 True friends want better for you than yourself, by the time you're 40 you'll probably discover that your only true friends were your parents.

2 beware of drivers that wear hats ( I learned that from my dad who was a haulier, he was so right)

3 Red shoes no nickers

4 There is only one thing more ignorant than a man that cannot read and that is a man that does not.

5 Regardless of how outlandish,foolish or unbelievable a claim, it should be heard as it may contain a nugget of truth.

6 ideas can be changed and exchanged, beliefs are often the opposite and tend to result in violence.

7 Never trust a man (or woman) that hides behind a fish.

8 Idiots get drunk and believe it was great, smart guys get laid and know it was.

9 The single greatest investment a man can make is a Prenuptial agreement.

10 Take a good long look at the mother before you marry the daughter.

11 If god was real he would have told you all this himself.

12 No two women are the same so try the whole jar before you pick a favorite.

13 Wear sunscreen

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:42 PM
As far as a career is concerned, Specialize in something. It makes you very employable.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:44 PM
If it isn't making you money or getting you laid it probably isn't worth your time. Just kidding. I couldn't resist.

posted on Nov, 3 2009 @ 05:49 PM
When my kids went off to college, I had the same talk with each of them.

It goes like this. Life is what you make it. Find a field of study that you enjoy and figure out how to make a living in that field.

You're leaving the nest and this is a great time to try out some new things. Join the marching band or a dance group, take some classes that are outside your area of interest, and just take them for fun. ( One of my kids joined the triathlon team, the other took classes in fused glass and other artistic pursuits)

Judge people by their actions, not just what they say. Surround yourself with positive people.

On the negative side, I pointed out how many drinks it would take to kill each one of them. It isn't that many. I also pointed out that although drugs can make you feel good at the time you're doing them, they hinder your full participation in life.

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