posted on Oct, 30 2009 @ 02:19 AM
Some people say one should always try to make ameds UNLESS IT WILL HURT ANOTHER PERSON SOMEHOW. That is, if dredging up the past or contact from you
would be more uncomfortable or difficult for the other person (or, somehow, a third party) than the act of making ammends itself, you shouldn't do
it. This can be a difficult thing to gauge.
Something that happened so long ago may be meaningless or even forgotten by the other parties...you may be torturing yourself over guilt
unnecessarily. Or maybe not. It's hard to know without knowing the "something bad" that you did, and the context, and the age, and so on. (and no,
you don't have to tell us about it.) Its a decision you must make for yourself.
When I was younger, I got a terrible case of "the guilties" over some bad things I had done. Although it was very difficult and embarrasing for me,
I forced myself to "make ammends" and come clean about some lies to a number of people. The act was incredibly cathartic and helpful for
me...everyone I spoke to was more or less sympathetic or at least willing to receive my apologies.
But looking back on it many years later, I now feel I blew the whole thing out of proportion in my mind and "went overboard" with my apoligies a
bit. At the time it seemed so important...now it seems much less so. What seems soul-wrenching and laden with significance at one stage of life may
seem hardly meaningful at all at another stage. So my feeling is, it is not a bad thing that I wnet on an "apology streak," but it wasn't strictly
What I really needed to do was FORGIVE MYSELF and MOVE ON in a stronger, more moral direction. At that stage in my life, the only way I could do this
in a meaningful way was through making apologies to others. Now, older and wiser, I think there are other ways I could have done it. But maybe it was
what needed to be done at the time.
One final thing...keep in mind, also, that the world can be a cruel place and others can be cruel, too. If you open yourself in the wrong way to
others, you may end up more damaged yourself than the others are actually helped.
Nobody can decide this but you. Weigh all this in your mind, listen to your heart carefully, and have the courage to do what you feel is the correct,
moral thing. You might be right, you might be wrong..."Morality is as slippery as a broken-backed snake" -Old Chinese saying. Take your time
pondering it, but don't procrastinate. Make up your mind to the best of your ability, and act decisively.
Good luck, and be good...to yourself, as well as to others.