Why would the idea of a gay man frighten other males so much?

reply to post by andy1033

Personally i think alot of straight males, do not like the fact that absolute gay males, do not like female private parts. I really think thats the most important reason why straight males just do not like the idea of gays.

I think you might have something there. But I'll put it into my own words to show you in which way I agree with you.

Men bond over females.
Whether it be in conversations with their buddies, socialising via going to clubs/bars, in male dominated workplaces where it's common to see soft porn (topless calenders, playboy posters, men mags ) in places where groups of men congregate, like lunch rooms for instance.

Even in some professions it's part of the culture.

For example Football, where the hiring of prostitutes for team bonding is common. Show business, where male band members bond with the female groupies.

Prostitution, Pornography, Mens publications are just an example of multi billion dollar industries that cash in on this intrinsic nature of the attraction of females to men.

The attraction is biologically hardwired in the majority of the male population. It has a purpose. To propagate the species.

As a gay male, that's a lot of instilled and ingrained male culture that you have to overcome to even get close to forming a friendship, let alone a meaningful bond with a hetrosexual male.

So yes, you're dislike of female private parts as you put it, is one reason but only because the majority of hetrosexual men wouldn't be able to bond with you as the main bonding glue, if you will, is absent.

Therefore they can't identify and relate to you.
Both of which are necessary for the formation of most friendships.

Men also do a lot of bonding in physical pursuits.
I'd imagine this physical proximity could create an uncomfortable and self
conscious atmosphere with a homosexual male. that would stifle a lot of enjoyment and spontanaity that is also the basis of an easy going friendship.

I know a lot of men who aren't concerned about homosexual men in places like the workplace and as acquaintances. But when it comes to buddies and best mates, I don't know one who's best friend is a homosexual.

Probably because of the reasons above. Or maybe not.
Just my thoughts.

I think it depends, also sometimes on the profession. In profesional hairdressing, for example, you probably won't get far as a homophobe. I think in other jobs it's easier if you can pass for straight. I'm unmistakingly gay and have some close female friends, but I'm sometimes deliberately invited by their hetero male spouses because of the themes I can talk about. I had some really close hetero male friends in my 20's.

i have nothing against gay people, and have lived with a gay man myself. and have since been to his wedding.
but what scares me is that, i belive being gay is a genetic defult.
i know this gonna bring up gay people saying.............how dare you say that! but in my life i have i have come to this understanding.

have you seen the film unbreakable. i belive there is a scale to everything, form week to strong, to straight to gay, its all the same.
you can see the exstreams and the less exsteams everywhere. but there are charistics which apply to gay people, some stonger then others, but they are always there if you look close enough,.

my gay friend wouldn't like this i know, but WHEN eventually the gay gene is found, although i belive it already has. it will eventually be clasifeid as a disability. Then i bet there will be alot more gays about to claim some cash.

i love my friend who is gay, i am a male, and dont love in a sexual way, although he has had a broken realtionship because of me. the guy he was with couldn't accept that a straight guy could be friends with a gay guy, and treat him like a friend, the predudice mother #er. i was the man in the middle. this is not they guy who he is married to, but i can still see a bit of hostility from his husband, because i accept him the who he is.

he dosnt understand our relationship. to an onloooker, we would probably look like we dont get on as we take the piss out of each other when ever we get the chnace, but that what buds do,

all i can say i miss my gay friend, only see him a couple of times a year as we live miles apart now. and if if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be with my wife now.
but the fact homosexuality is a genetic problem, as it happens in many wild speices.
but i would rather be gay than belive in god,
but thats a whole nother story,

Originally posted by andy1033
I am on another board ta the mo, and you get the usual, gays are disgusting in threads. I wonder what is it about gays that really trouble straight males?

Is it
1) The idea that males, do not like female private parts?
2) The idea that males may fancy them in some way?
3) The insecurities in side themselves to protect there hetero feelings?

Personally i think alot of straight males, do not like the fact that absolute gay males, do not like female private parts. I really think thats the most important reason why straight males just do not like the idea of gays.

Alot of gays would find the idea of straight sex disgusting but no one ever says it, we just hear that gay sex is wrong, and disgusting. Looks like the majority runs the show, yeppy.

What do you guys think, about this, and whats the real, reason why you people think straight males hate gay males so much? Personally i think its no1, but of course there are lots of bi males, who can have sex with both males and females, but i am talking about all out gay males.

[edit on 10/28/2009 by andy1033]

Erm, I don't think it's the idea of gay men frightening straight, normal guys it's the way the ptb are pushing gayness as 'cool', acceptable and 'ordinary'.

If putting your parts where they aren't designed for is your funky thing then that's up to you.

The name 'gay' doesn't or shouldn't mean homosexual. That term was stolen by the left-wing gay movement to 'normalise it'.
Even the term homosexual could be argued is another hijacked term.

But this isn't the only thing, it's the push for the emasculated male that the media is fostering. That the man who is dressed by his wife and wears womens clothes is somehow ok.
That being metrosexual and emo are the way forward.

What I'm basically saying is the whole gay thing is being pushed as an agenda, you make a lot of young kids growing up start thinking 'Hey I might be gay'.
Before you know it you could potentially have a generation of kids with 30% of them with queer/homo tendencies compared to only 8-10% of the previous one.
I can tell you a population with a large chunk of homo folk in it will be very easy for the ptb to control compared to a hetrosexual one.


[edit on 1-11-2009 by WatchRider]

Originally posted by getreadyalreadyActually I know several gay men that I think are great, but I also know many "flaming gay" men that I would like to run over.

Just wanted to chime in and agree with the above statement. And I say that as a gay man. I absolutely despise the extremely flamboyant gay men, so much so, that I actually consider myself homophobic a lot of the time. I hate that they take a stereotype and define themselves by their sexuality. Because, they mostly just put an image out there of what gay men are, and it's completely not true. I am gay. But I live, eat, crap, work, talk, laugh, just as much as my friends. I don't run around in Tina Turner outfits. I don't parade the gay flag. I don't protest for "our" rights. If people want to do that, then fine, but most of those people are actually damanging the "gay" image. Gay men have fought hard to be equal for decades now, and I think there are some out there who, (maybe for the right reasons), are turning back the clock when it comes to public opinions.

Originally posted by intrepid
It boils down to "ignorance". Not knowing. I was homophobic early in life due to being raised in a military family. I got to know gay men later in life. They were the same, not really, they were more understanding than straights. Probably because of what they had to endure.

Firstly, I know you probably meant well, and I'm not trying to argue. But I've seen this so many times. "Gay men are better than straight men cos they listen to me!" Well, honestly, that's not completely true. Some of us can be completely ignorant ourselves. We can be racist. We can be bullies. We can be abusers. We're no different than "straight" men other than we're just attracted to our own gender. What you've found, most likely, are just good "men." Whether they're gay or straight, there are good men out there. Your sexual preference doesn't necessarily have to have an impact on who you are. As a gay man, I could say that other gay men are too emotional for me, and that straight men are much better at relationships cos there's not much hassle. That wouldn't be fair to anyone. And it wouldn't be truthful. There's too much diversity to generalise.

Originally posted by thisguyrighthereBut I dont encounter any of that stuff anymore. In the middle of nowhere with no neighbors. The way life should be. There really isnt anything more annoying or anything that can ruin a nice day quite like other people.

I reckon I'll be moving out there with you. But, of course, only to hit on you. [/joke].


[edit on 1/11/2009 by Bluemcgee]

Originally posted by WatchRiderWhat I'm basically saying is the whole gay thing is being pushed as an agenda, you make a lot of young kids growing up start thinking 'Hey I might be gay'.

I absolutely see your points of view, but honestly, why is this a bad thing? Isn't it human nature to ask questions about ones own existence? To constantly question things around them? Wouldn't it be much better for a child to think it "normal" to talk to their family about whether they think they're gay or not, rather than those who know they are having to suppress it, to be bullied, to think there's no possible way they could ever live?

I'm not arguing the "agenda" you say is being pushed forward, cos I really don't involve myself in politics so much, but I do think there is something that can be progressed, and it doesn't necessarily have to mean the whole world is going Gay.

Let's end this steady stream of ignorance on both sides.

The only difference.. read this carefully now.. the ONLY difference between homosexual and heterosexual men is this.

Homosexual men are sexually aroused by penises.
Heterosexual men are not sexually aroused by penises.

That's it.

Anything else that comes into play as an argument for or against is ignorance, bigotry, stereotyping, profiling, and whatever else you wish to throw in.


----

Originally posted by FlightyI know a lot of men who aren't concerned about homosexual men in places like the workplace and as acquaintances. But when it comes to buddies and best mates, I don't know one who's best friend is a homosexual.

Probably because of the reasons above. Or maybe not.
Just my thoughts.

You bring up some interesting things, and definitely some food for thought there. Though, I'd disagree on certain points. Just because a gay man doesn't want to have sex with a woman, it doesn't mean they're not "male" enough to talk about it with their friends. It's more like a compromise. "You deal with my gay issues, I'll deal with you girl issues."

I'm not saying that's how it is, but there's always the fact that not all gay men hate football, not all gay men hate baseball, basketball, ice hockey, or whatever. Quite a few of us like a lot of the same things. And if all you think men can bond over is "women," then I really do think you're mistaken, though I do agree that's the easiest starting point.

I have heaps of straight male friends. Probably because I'm not a flaming queen. Maybe just cos I'm a good guy. I don't know. All I know is, no two gay guys can be put in a box. Just like no two straight guys can. Everyone is different.

Yep everyone is different, but the thing that surprised me as an adult, is the amount of females, that found it somehow offensive to them that you had no interest in them.

Everyone is different and all these stereotypes do no one any favours.

Just glad the way i am, and one great thing is i will never bringing anyone into this horror society unlike all you so called great straight humans, who like to commit all your crimes.

Many of you will probably call me crazy but...i think the main reason why straights normaly have issues with gay males is...jealousy and a natural instinct to erradicate competition!
Allow to try to explain this 2 reasons:

- Jealousy/Envy: I trully belieave that every single human borns as a Bissexual one. What makes the majority of us glued to one of the sides is just related to religion & educational factors, and that brainwash, "Reprogram", our selfs in several diferent ways. Altough the "Bi" part will be always there...dormant/controled by our will!...untill a day!
Many Straitgh males have in fact a subconscient frustration because for exemple, in the society type they live, they have not the corage to assume they want (shame), or just can't have sex with males where they leave fearing retaliations. That could, and normaly is the reason why they have so strong issues against the gay ones. I the end is because they can't andle very well all this situation.


- Erradicating Competition - Ok...this one looks weird!...How a gay male can be considerated a possible "Danger" in this situation?...To understend this we must look and observe how males in animal realm used to act when looking for a female to act.

Summaryng...because this is a very complex thing to explain...too much to say!

- Normaly the major first problem a male have is...to reach close to the female with out to provoque a negative reaction!...You provoque a negative reaction..and normaly your portunity has gone by the flush...or you are possible eated alive lol.

- Second , females like good looking and trustble males...so next step is to try to convence you are a good looking male, and very trustble.

- Generaly a male need's also, to show to the female, you understend her needs, and her world. You also need to proof to her you are a kind and sencible male to take care of her and your possible future babys.

-Etc..as i sayed, a natural animal mate cycle is far too complex to explain for searious now, but this is a good exemple of some steps, that can be very well compared with the human one.

Now note this:

- Almoust all Gay males are the girls best friends & they normaly are part of the girl's inner circle of intimate friends. It's a fact that females love to relationship (friendship) to gays, because they are moust sencible, normaly they worry more about they'r good looking and what's they are using atm, and they have the patience to hear what they have to say! Always having the proper time to show how worried they are with females problems...Etc.

So...as you can see, a gay can bee easly seen, by a straight mind, as "The ultimate flirt weapon"...lol, because gays naturaly don't have the need to surpass all that hard "mate steps" that a male needs to comply.
Besides all this, a gay male is always also naturaly "Blended" in the Females "friend's inner circle", so he can "reach the goal" first then a straight...Yes it's true...there are straights especialized in looking like Gays , just to penetrate in the girls "friend' inner circles",gain they'r trust, and in the proper time...they atack!..lol
How this is possible?...simple...females have a natural isntinct to seduce males, and unconsciously a gay is a constant challenge for they'r skills But this is another big and complex story!
Ok, sorry, i tryed to explain the best i could because i sux in english. i hope you guys understend this.


[edit on 1/11/09 by Umbra Sideralis]

Originally posted by andy1033
Everyone is different and all these stereotypes do no one any favours.

Just glad the way i am, and one great thing is i will never bringing anyone into this horror society unlike all you so called great straight humans, who like to commit all your crimes.

See, this is just ONE example of the stupidity and double talk in this thread.

Firstly, we have someone saying the stereotypes aren't doing anyone any favors, and then in this person's very next line the stereotypes and poisonous hatred shine through.

Are you implying that only 'straights' are able to reproduce?
Are you implying that only 'straights' commit crime?

Fight past your obvious issues and see that you are part of the problem of bigotry and hatred. Only after you realize that you are contributing to the hatred will you be able to begin to help society heal.

reply to post by RoyalCanadian


Straight people DO have straight parades, I've seen them in Arkansas and Alabama, obviously someone isn't doing there research.

And have you ever been to Bourban street, you basically see straight people having sex and stripping everywhere in a public place. But I guess that's alright because I never hear anyone saying anything about that.

reply to post by HankMcCoy


lol, have you ever heard of sarcasm. Internet talk is not all 100% meant to be taken as gospel from the hands they are typed from.

I am just sick of stererotypes being made against gay people, to ridicule them. I just want people to understand truths from my perspective, and my experience of life, that has seen the extreme of human hatred, just because i did not like or want what they want.

Originally posted by andy1033
reply to post by HankMcCoy

 

lol, have you ever heard of sarcasm. Internet talk is not all 100% meant to be taken as gospel from the hands they are typed from.

I am just sick of stererotypes being made against gay people, to ridicule them. I just want people to understand truths from my perspective, and my experience of life, that has seen the extreme of human hatred, just because i did not like or want what they want.

Yes, yes, hide behind sarcasm, which in this instance is an improper use of the word anyway, what you are supposedly attempting, and failing at by the way, is called Satire.

No. What you did there is not satire, it is merely more stereotyping.

Thank you for answering my questions.

Originally posted by HankMcCoy
"Let's end this steady stream of ignorance on both sides.

The only difference.. read this carefully now.. the ONLY difference between homosexual and heterosexual men is this.

Homosexual men are sexually aroused by penises.
Heterosexual men are not sexually aroused by penises.

That's it.

Anything else that comes into play as an argument for or against is ignorance, bigotry, stereotyping, profiling, and whatever else you wish to throw in."

I cannot agree with this statement. Maybe some men are into penises as a fixation. Homo/Hetero are actually default constructions, because on each "side" one will find countless varions on fetishes, tastes and fixations. For me it is a beautiful, rugged male face, and a great penis (whatever that means, long, thick, cut, uncut, pierced, erect/flaccid, black/white?) on an ugly face will just be a turn-off. Both my straight female friends and I agree on which guys are hot, and we just see the faces. However, gay male brains are still "male" brains, and we do respond more to visual stimulus than women. For me the whole male physique is just different, and a nice back-shot is also great. But sexuality is actually very personalized, despite our political necessity of creating a binary in sexuality.
What I do sometime wonder: I've seen female-to-male sex changes and these guys are often rugged and gorgeous. However, although I've never been confronted with this personally, but when I hear they were once straight physical "women" I get a bit turned-off. I want another male who has always had the experiences of being male - so I want the same gender in so many ways. But who knows, love is love, and when one falls for a person little else matters in any case?

Originally posted by halfoldman

Originally posted by HankMcCoy
"Let's end this steady stream of ignorance on both sides.

The only difference.. read this carefully now.. the ONLY difference between homosexual and heterosexual men is this.

Homosexual men are sexually aroused by penises.
Heterosexual men are not sexually aroused by penises.

That's it.

Anything else that comes into play as an argument for or against is ignorance, bigotry, stereotyping, profiling, and whatever else you wish to throw in."

I cannot agree with this statement. Maybe some men are into penises as a fixation. Homo/Hetero are actually default constructions, because on each "side" one will find countless varions on fetishes, tastes and fixations. For me it is a beautiful, rugged male face, and a great penis (whatever that means, long, thick, cut, uncut, pierced, erect/flaccid, black/white?) on an ugly face will just be a turn-off. Both my straight female friends and I agree on which guys are hot, and we just see the faces. However, gay male brains are still "male" brains, and we do respond more to visual stimulus than women. For me the whole male physique is just different, and a nice back-shot is also great. But sexuality is actually very personalized, despite our political necessity of creating a binary in sexuality.
What I do sometime wonder: I've seen female-to-male sex changes and these guys are often rugged and gorgeous. However, although I've never been confronted with this personally, but when I hear they were once straight physical "women" I get a bit turned-off. I want another male who has always had the experiences of being male - so I want the same gender in so many ways. But who knows, love is love, and when one falls for a person little else matters in any case?

Regardless of whether or not you agree with my statement, it's a statement of fact. Nothing you have said refutes my original point.

I find it quite interesting reading the different posts in this thread, I think it is a good question asked:

I am on another board ta the mo, and you get the usual, gays are disgusting in threads. I wonder what is it about gays that really trouble straight males?

Is it
1) The idea that males, do not like female private parts?
2) The idea that males may fancy them in some way?
3) The insecurities in side themselves to protect there hetero feelings?

andy1033, if you think about the following:
I reckon, the same way a gay man feel awkward and repulsed about the idea of getting intimate with a woman, straight men feel the same way about getting intimate with another man. It's the same as straight women might feel awkward and repulsed when thinking about being intimate with another woman. It's the way it is.

Nothing wrong with that I suppose, I think that, if you take it one step further to where a person might have encountered, on different occasions, where he or she have been made a pass at by someone they don't feel is their "sexual type", they start to develop a strong dislike for that type, so I think it would be the 2) option on your list.

Years ago I lived a gay lifestyle, but after becoming a christian I quit the lifestyle. I still have the urges but don't do the lifestyle anymore. I have nothing against gay people (some of my best friends are gay) but do not like the lifestyle. God also loves gay people but do not approve of the lifestyle.

Almost all of the gay friends I ever had was quite promiscuous, and spent a great deal of their day thinking and talking (and doing) about sex and being gay. A great deal of them are also camp and I think a lot of straight guys might have felt uncomfortable with their very friendly intentions, if you know what I mean.

I have a balanced amount of gay and straight friends. Once my straight male friends discovered that I am not threat, they altered their view of guys being gay to the extent that they realize that not all gay men are the same, and that they are after all just human. Just as with most other stereotypes out there!

I have no issues with any decent, loving, kind human spirit who happens to be gay! I suspect that their are many more bi-sexual, gay, or lesbian people than any one might imagine.

Human sexuality has a multitude of layers and dimensions to it. We are only beginning to understand what drives our desires, and needs within human relationships.

I cannot condemn, or ostracize sexuality or expression of love between people who aren't hurting me in any shape or form. Live and let live!

Really, there's so much bigotry in this thread, from both sides of the coin...oh well. It's to be expected I suppose. There are various reasons for the gay man stigma, but they all have their roots in either ignorance or insecurity.

reply to post by HankMcCoy

Personally, yes I do agree, especially if one reduces the complexities of gender and sexuality to their very basis in biology. There are males and females (we'll get back to the hermaphrodites, castrati later - let's not complicate things), And men have a penis, biologically that defines maleness. I'm a male attracted to some males, so yes, it's true.
However, I am not fixated on the penis. I'm a bit into S/M and know some people, and some guys are so into spanking, whipping,caning that this act is the key to their arousal, and the gender is irrelevant. So the penis underlies my homosexuality as the sign of maleness, but it's only one factor in my whole sexuality.