Todays Youth and the Lack of Parenting, page 1

Originally posted by quackers
I think there is a minority in every single element of society. Millions and millions of people all watch the same tv programs, listen to the same music, play the same video games, so on and so forth. For millions and millions of normal people, the thought of gang raping a teenager is simply not a normal thought process, despite your scapegoating onto the media.

That said we are a consumerist debt driven society where either no parent is working or both parents are working. Neither of which is perhaps the optimum for raising children. This is not the fault of parents, as they too are a product of this manipulation.

Are things getting worse, or is it simply that now it is more likely you hear about something? Is there more crime or are more people reporting crime? Are the "brainwashed masses" any more or less "brainwashed" than they were 30 years ago? I don't think so. You think TV is to blame? Fine cart it off to the local dump, somehow I doubt it will be the panacea you hoped.

It is not the television or media on their own (and the tv was carted to the dump years ago).. I am not putting blame onto one reason itself, but to a multitude of aspects that do have a hand in what direction the youth is taking.. but for anyone to say that it isnt the parents at the top of the list to blame, is blatently ridiculous.. when parents cared and took the raising of their children as their utmost priority in life, things were no where near as bad as they are today.. I do agree that in many ways things like child abductions, murder, rape and so forth arent happening more than ever before, but are being focused on more in the media to help along fear mongering.. but again, to say its not the medias fault is also blindness at its most severe!
Parents chose to have the children they have, and they are absolutely to be held accountable for the actions of those children...of course they are slaves to the system, everyone is, but it excuses nothing.

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 09:43 AM by TarzanBeta

reply to post by quackers

Really? It's not the parents fault how they parent their children?

I'm sorry, I was under the impression that intelligent, mature, honest adults would learn to overcome and adapt to their circumstances and teach their children through these lessons how to live and mature.

OH, but, if an "adult" isn't capable of figuring themselves out, regardless of the HELL that we adults DO go through, then what in the world makes you think that their kids are going to be raised properly?

The workplace is an EASIER place to be these days than it used to be. Meaning, if you're a slacker, you're golden. If you bust your tail, like I do, because you believe in earning what you get, despite you not being paid near enough your worth, YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THAT SLACKER.

So, I don't know what condition you're talking about, but I know from experience that 10% of the people do 90% of the work and get paid less... and those same 10% are most certainly the only ones teaching their children any values these days!!

You want to talk about the father and mother not being there or always being there or whatever... get a grip. You obviously don't know much about FAMILY businesses. You obviously don't know much about rich people, who can take a vacation whenever they want. And yet, the integrity of a child is NOT directly proportionate to the income their parents receive, and neither is it indirectly proportionate. Don't get me wrong, because I'm basically poor by American standards, but it has been my experience in retail the extremely rich produce more humble children more often than the middle class! Actually, I'd say the most rich and the most poor raise the best quality children. It's the middle class in large part that has a hard time developing honest children. The middle class, of course, is generally composed of the more nuclear, soccer-mom type families. I only work retail, so I couldn't tell you ANYTHING about soccer-moms in general... except that 90% of soccer-moms think it's cute and completely okay to let their kids and their kids' friends run amuck touching and grabbing and throwing whatever they want.

Okay, I'm gonna hush now.

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 09:44 AM by Zandermander

reply to post by thisguyrighthere

Good point...and recanting!!
There is not a singular blame nor solution.
However....as a part of this chain of "society" and a parent, it is vital that the individual accept this responsibility.
It is up to us..the parents..to guide our "spawns" through the rigors of school, tv, video games and all outside influences.

We can do our part by watching tv, playing those games, disallowing texting, monitoring the internet, and most importantly discussing all of the above with the targeted child or children.

Time ......time out...time to chat...
Take it, make it, do it.

None of us want to experience the agony of knowing that our child is in trouble.
Prevention is key...contact and conversation are essential; and mandatory in my
book!!

Namaste

ZM

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 09:45 AM by quackers

Parenting is not the root, it is a symptom of a far larger problem with society. So long as people keep focusing on the symptoms, they will never cure the disease. The disease is socio-economic manipulation by governments full of elected conflict of interest, funded by crooked bankers, who employ leftist think tanks to decide the best way of manipulating the people machine so it is most productive.

Instead of saying "unemployed parents are bad and they raise bad kids", find out why they are unemplyed and why their values are trash, I'm sure many would jump at the chance to escape the revolving door of poverty and apathy.

Instead of saying "latchkey kids have parents who care more about their work than their kids", find out why it is that both parents need to work. What is it about their finances means 80 hour work weeks and and why can that not be achieved with 1 parent working?

Instead of blaming parents, find out why it is that parents have no time for their children, I'm sure many would rather work less and spend more time at home, or just have a job, and some pride in themselves, their family, and the community around them.

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 09:46 AM by HappilyEverAfter

reply to post by lpowell0627

It is absolutely without question the parents responsibilty, duty, and most important meaning in life.
It requires paying attention, not smothering, not controlling every thought and action, but paying attention and getting involved, every single day and night of that childs growing and formable years.
Do not expect perfection, you can not deliver it, so dont expect it.
The child is a mirror and a sponge, you will see and hear yourself, or the absence of.
There is no manual to refer to, but common sense, is pretty good.
I raised 4 imperfect unique daughters,
under common shared rules and curfews, chores required, language required, behavior required.
And they would consistantly fall short of the mark, but they were held accountable, and they learned responsibility and also forgiveness.
They learned the difference between excuses and reasons.
They learned how to grow up but not grow away.
They learned yes and they learned no!
And they drove me to the edge of madness.
They hated me, complained to me, avoided me, lied to me.
They hugged me, thanked me, came to me and confided in me.
They wore me down to the bone, had me ready to disappear into a fog.
But there I was every day....
I lost my Mom when I was very little, my Dad was always away.
My Grandmother was my most remembered parent,
old ways, family ways.
Schools wont raise your kids, social programs and services wont raise them, the police wont raise them.
The dirty hands rolled up sleeves involved expecting parent as a norm is one tough task.
And its worth every minute.
FAMILY all the way.

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 09:56 AM by Full_Vision

Originally posted by quackers
Parenting is not the root, it is a symptom of a far larger problem with society. So long as people keep focusing on the symptoms, they will never cure the disease. The disease is socio-economic manipulation by governments full of elected conflict of interest, funded by crooked bankers, who employ leftist think tanks to decide the best way of manipulating the people machine so it is most productive.

Instead of saying "unemployed parents are bad and they raise bad kids", find out why they are unemplyed and why their values are trash, I'm sure many would jump at the chance to escape the revolving door of poverty and apathy.

Instead of saying "latchkey kids have parents who care more about their work than their kids", find out why it is that both parents need to work. What is it about their finances means 80 hour work weeks and and why can that not be achieved with 1 parent working?

Instead of blaming parents, find out why it is that parents have no time for their children, I'm sure many would rather work less and spend more time at home, or just have a job, and some pride in themselves, their family, and the community around them.

I do not disagree with any of what you just said, at all.. Society is absolutely the basis for most of the problems we face now, and that society has been engineered by the elite in order to control and brainwash the populace, to keep them in line..But i can not excuse parents who do not make time for their children, that choose career over the kids they chose to have, after all we all are subjected to this engineered social construct, yet despite that, parents such as myself and thankfully a number of other people out there do raise their kids to be decent and true beings in this world of bs..which goes to show it can be and is being done despite the social controls implimented by government..which even furthers my statement that parents havent any excuse to not properly raise their children.. the only excuses i see are greed, laziness and sheer stupidity.

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 10:04 AM by Full_Vision

Originally posted by HappilyEverAfter
reply to post by lpowell0627

It is absolutely without question the parents responsibilty, duty, and most important meaning in life.
It requires paying attention, not smothering, not controlling every thought and action, but paying attention and getting involved, every single day and night of that childs growing and formable years.
Do not expect perfection, you can not deliver it, so dont expect it.
The child is a mirror and a sponge, you will see and hear yourself, or the absence of.
There is no manual to refer to, but common sense, is pretty good.
I raised 4 imperfect unique daughters,
under common shared rules and curfews, chores required, language required, behavior required.
And they would consistantly fall short of the mark, but they were held accountable, and they learned responsibility and also forgiveness.
They learned the difference between excuses and reasons.
They learned how to grow up but not grow away.
They learned yes and they learned no!
And they drove me to the edge of madness.
They hated me, complained to me, avoided me, lied to me.
They hugged me, thanked me, came to me and confided in me.
They wore me down to the bone, had me ready to disappear into a fog.
But there I was every day....
I lost my Mom when I was very little, my Dad was always away.
My Grandmother was my most remembered parent,
old ways, family ways.
Schools wont raise your kids, social programs and services wont raise them, the police wont raise them.
The dirty hands rolled up sleeves involved expecting parent as a norm is one tough task.
And its worth every minute.
FAMILY all the way.

Wonderfully said and 100% true! thank you for sharing.. all of what you just said is exactly what parents the world over should be doing.. and if they can not or will not accept responsibility, they indeed should not have children..
Certainly no one is perfect, and parenting is not an easy task in life, that point of madness you speak of is often apparent! lol..but with the right heart, love, mindframe and effort, decent humans can be brought into this world of ours instead of the large numbers of pointless breeders and violent heathens being let lose from homes where no effort was given to child rearing..

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 10:08 AM by quackers

reply to post by Full_Vision

It used to be that one parent working earned enough to raise a family of 6, maybe mom had a part time when all kids reached school age, and it was tight, but so was the family group. There was pride in your job, pride in your family, pride in your community and pride in your country. People can no longer afford to be proud, work, pay taxes, and die hopefully before you've cost the state too much. They are sick of their country, their community is falling apart, their family cohesion is non existent. Is it any wonder some kids just decide to do what the hell they like?

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 10:43 AM by Blanca Rose

Originally posted by TarzanBeta
It's easy to say that turning off the T.V. will cure this, but you're wrong.

It's not just turning off the television. It's tuning in to your children. With two parent working household, the television has conveniently become the household babysitter. Televisions have no place in a kitchen, or dining room. Having conversation during supper is a time for every family member to meet, and talk, and have a common ground. By the way, children also now have atrocious table manners. They don't know how to set a table, what fork or spoon to use, and where a napkin goes while dining. This may not be important at home, to learn proper etiquette, but it matters when children are out in public. Have you ever had a meal ruined in a restaurant by some obnoxious kid, who is let to run loose in the place, or who stands up in the booth behind you and just stares, while the parents are chomping down?

My mom always -hated- to sit at the table. She wanted to watch T.V. while she was eating. Dinner time, of course, was to eat.

Then why was she watching television?

Conversation takes place whenever else.

Dinner time wasn't acceptable? Did it interfere with re-runs of "The Golden Girls," or Andy Griffith? What is more important than sharing a meal with your children, and conversation at that time? Are you saying that conversation time took place while sitting on the John, or when it was just convenient for them not to miss a television show?

I had plenty of conversations with my mom and my dad, which seems odd now looking back because I always thought they were so busy. They were both very busy actually.

Most parents are.

My point is, the OP has hit the nail on the head. All sorts of things add to the problem, but the root is parenting. PARENTING is not defined as turning off the T.V. Parenting is defined as, in my opinion, actively molding your child.

This is true. Part of molding your child is to teach that interacting with real people, in real situations versus television is reality.

If you do not mold your child, then either they will continue to be a lump of clay, or someone else will do the molding. When a lump of clay that hasn't been properly molded before the clay gets too dry is modified later on, it will change form a little, but in the end it just breaks apart. The clay then needs to be reprepped.

Great idea! Nice analogy. Far too many parents spend time with their children woking on art projects. Instead, they stick them in front of the television, or buy them video games.

I could go on forever on this topic, actually. OP, just know that I am with you 100%. I am 25 years old and I used to think my peers were out of control. I have worked retail for years and I'm telling you...today's kids are incredibly stupid, selfish, and markedly mouthy. If anyone has ever seen

Children live what they learn. They learn all to frequently from television shows how to behave, and from video games. They live in a virtual reality that has nothing to do with humanity.

edit to fix quotes

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Blanca Rose]

hopefully fixed this time

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Blanca Rose]

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 10:53 AM by andy1033

The thing is there has always been bad parenting, scum i went to school with proved that.

But today youngsters have even worse morals, than before, and thats saying something.

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 11:37 AM by Full_Vision

reply to post by andy1033

Exactly.. bad parenting is nothing new, goodness knows there were plenty when i was growing up..it just seems that more and more these days are simply throwing up their hands and saying 'i cant do anything about them' (their children) or simply not trying from the very start..What i do see a lot around here, are parents that have continued to breed kids like bunnies (usually for reasons of more money from the councils) and then leaving it up to the older siblings to keep the younger ones in line.. but in this day and age, the older and younger kids are most of the time as bad as each other..
When my son first started school at the age of 4, the head teacher spoke to me after class one day to tell me how amazed she was at his manners..going on to say no other child she has had in the school the past few years have been anywhere near his level of politeness.. as proud as it made me to hear, it also made me angry..angry because manners and common curtousy should not be a rare thing!! He has teachers, (now he is 7 years old), wrapped around his little finger simply because he says please and thank you, and asks them how they are in the morning!
Common sense, human morals, and any sign of proper social etiquette seem to be unnervingly absent these days..
Though i have recieved quite a bit of hassle for my belief in the old fashioned ways where the mother remains at home with the house and the children and the man supports the family and contributes to it in all other ways of course..i cant help but feel its a natural order of sorts.. My oldest sister for instance decided to persue a career in teaching, which would have been fine if she hadnt decided to also have kids.. one is now 13 and her youngest is 8 or 9 i believe, and she is hardly at home with them at all, they barely see her as she works all day and then goes to class until past 8pm.. so the kids are stuck with a sitter or day care taker, or the father which isnt much better than the kids themseles..and i am seeing how mindless and materialistic they both have become due to this set up.. materialistic because the mother tries to compensate for not giving them time, by giving them expensive games, clothes, and other consumer goods to show she 'loves' them..i simply dont see what the point was for her to have these children..and they have become products to the system because of her badly made choices. She seemingly prefers to teach other peoples kids instead of her own since her own are seriously as dumb as boxes of rocks.. considering all the potential all children have at birth, it saddens me to say the least..

reply posted on 28-10-2009 @ 03:52 PM by MissMegs

I will come back and talk about my kids later.

Pet hate of mine is the parents who blame their kids lack of behaviour on things like ADHD.

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