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Looking people in the eyes @_@

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posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:39 PM
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Originally posted by Stillalive
but this IS NOT RIGHT!
why should shy people get stomped on,or walked all over? just couse theyr a bit shy? thats carnivores talking!
would you walk over a handicapped man? NO,then why bully the shy people huh?

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Stillalive]

It's the way of the world mate - you can't do anything about it. You have to make the most of what you've got. If you've not got social confidence but you've got brains, then you may find indirect ways of defeating those who try to intimidate you.




posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:41 PM
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Originally posted by argentus
I think perhaps my perspective has been shaded by living in a small population area for the last 15 years.

I have no difficulty looking people directly in the eyes, however I think I project gentleness and humor. I reserve the "crazy-grandma" (one of my reknown ancestors) look for those who deserve it.


I think sometimes -- and I noticed this when we lived in a large population density -- people use their eye contact as a weapon, to ward off, to warn, to incite fear. Even 15 years ago, an errant look at a stoplight had the potential of causing a confrontation. Perhaps some are conscious of the threat in modern times and just opt out.

I'm nearly deaf in both ears -- shooting and punk bands (however not at the same time lol) -- and some of my friends have said that upon meeting me, they were unnerved by my looking at their mouths, rather than eyes. Hey, it's how I hear, for the most part. Men with bushy moustaches are very difficult for me to understand when they speak.

I think I feel more respect for someone who looks at my eyes directly. Not to say that I disrespect those that don't; I think I'm more likely to trust someone who looks at me when they speak.


It's also behavior from long ago when we where in tribal packs and dominance was by being tall stronger and able to intimidate. We still have it today, and I would like to consider this behavior maladaptive. I have had people stare at me in such a way that I would never do to someone else. The one way was that the guy was trying to "stake" his territory across the room because his girlfriend was right beside me. He was giving me a murderous look seriously. I'm an intelligent person and is able to use logic and thik my way through issues, people like said person and others who use this type of behavior in situations that they feel like they have no control are playing with fire. Because they will either get themselves killed or kill someone because of their issues and their inability to deal with them. I've seen it and many of you may know people like this.

Also looking people in their eyes do open a subtle intimacy to what they are thinking and or feeling at the time. And add to the fact it's rude.



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:42 PM
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I personally think looking a person in the eye is rude.



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:48 PM
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Originally posted by Unregistered
reply to post by Stillalive
 


Fix that behavior. I personally dislike people who don't look at me in the eye when I'm talking to them. It feels like they're lying or something. From what I read here, it also seems that it has something to do with self-esteem. Well, I have a habit of looking down at people like that which I believe is not exclusive to me.

It's not a good behavior.


What a terribly arrogant attitude.

You might actually find that shy people look down on YOU, they just don't show it.



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 06:02 PM
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Originally posted by Stillalive
hello,i dont know when it started but i found out that i rarely look people in the eyes,i avoid eye contact when possible,even subcontiously.
but in rare cases when i look deep into someones eyes i feel kinda strange,like im linking to something,like entering them i dont know...
sure some girls in school really liked to tease me by looking at me,pretty complexing for me xaxa. but when i and a girl from my class started looking at each other it really felt strange like i was brainwashing her or something...
am i just an egomaniac who wants to brainwash people,or is there something more to eyes?
educate me I:
like alot of people say you can easily make a girl like you by lots of eye contact
what with the eyes guis?

I have exactly the same problem. If I look people in the eye, especially someone I don't know, I often feel they can see into my soul. I also panic in case I think "inappropriate" thoughts and they pick up on it (which they always do).

After having thought about this a lot, I am convinced that you can use your eyes as an instrument of your will. The problem is that if you can't control your will, you're in trouble.

You can actually influence people without even looking at them directly. The important thing is not what you're looking at directly, but the focus of your attention. Normally, of course, we focus our attention on the thing in the centre of our field of vision. But it is equally possible to stare at someone out of the corner of your eye. Once you've learned how to do it, it's easy. But it is dangerous too, because nothing makes you more vulnerable than projecting thoughts at people against your will.

When I worked (I'm currently unemployed) I had to sit with objects around me so that there was no one in my field of vision.

In short, I am pretty sure there is such a thing as telepathy - and it's a skill, not an innate ability. Some primitive societies use it a lot, and think nothing of it: for them, it's as natural as the other senses. It's only since the Enlightenment that Western science has rejected the ideas of telepathy and witchcraft as being "irrational".

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Franz]

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Franz]

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Franz]



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 07:43 PM
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Where I live here in Brisbane Australia It is very common and also non-threatening to look people in the eye and acknowledge them. When I first starting living here I freaked out a bit because I wasn't use to it and felt my private space was being invaded or worse still I still had some of my breakfast still on my face.
But after 5 years I am use to it and sometimes I get some nice
smiles back from people after I give them a sincere look in the eyes.
I understand it is all about what is in your state of mind when you look at of into someones eyes I have always found.
I tend to have an intent of giving my wholehearted presence to someone when I look at them. Though more often than not people are invariably caught up in their own dramas of the day and fail to notice you.
Actually Children are great because they immediately sense your sincerity and genuiness at simply trying to be a friend passing them by



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 08:08 PM
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if you intend to look people in the eyes as a tool of interpersonal relationships, the #1 trait you MUST practice is:

HARMLESSNESS.

it is the first thing that people will read from your eyes. harmlessness implies a neutrality in every aspect of being.

the only way to accomplish harmlessness is to be totally and completely and genuinely neutral. you cannot WANT anything from them, and also you cannot NOT WANT anything from them.

harmlessness is established by setting up the self, YOUR-self, as the authority in all matters. thus, you can represent yourself appropriately, socially, and not feel threatened by others' points of view. when you do not feel threatened, you will not threaten others.

stop worrying so gaddammed much. relax. it is totally natural.

totally harmless.



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 09:43 PM
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Originally posted by SmokeJaguar67
reply to post by Stillalive
 


Always look a person in the eye! If you do not some will think you are weak and or are hiding something.

After a long time spent in hospital I found it difficult to look someone else in the eyes but I soon realised that as my self esteem got better I found that I had to look people in the eye. If you avoid eye contact you give others of a less then friendly disposition an excuse to avoid giving you the respect that all people deserve.

In my younger years I once had a revolver jammed into my guts in a minor argument in a pub and the man I was arguing with wanted me scared, and I felt scared. However I looked down at the gun and then looked at him and said 'Cool gun are you selling it'? Actually it was a garbage looking silver thing and I did not want to buy it but that was not the point.

I felt like being physically sick but from remaining calm and most importantly by looking the man in the eyes and showing him I was a sentient being like him. The situation was defused with a burst of laughter because we made long eye contact and also because I remained calm.

It was only afterwards that I allowed myself to be sick.

That has been my experience at least that you are meant to look a person in the eye and hold it but not so much that you end up staring.


You're a bad ass. 5 stars for the story.



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 09:54 PM
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Originally posted by Unregistered
reply to post by Stillalive
 


Fix that behavior. I personally dislike people who don't look at me in the eye when I'm talking to them. It feels like they're lying or something. From what I read here, it also seems that it has something to do with self-esteem. Well, I have a habit of looking down at people like that which I believe is not exclusive to me.

It's not a good behavior.

It's just your opinion. What others might think it's not good behavior others might.

[edit on 28-10-2009 by sphinx551]



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 10:01 PM
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Speaking of eyes. I had a girlfriend in the past, who had a thing for trying to lick my eyelashes/eye..


A very weird fetish indeed. I've always been complemented on my eyes but some people take it to the extreme.



posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 10:17 PM
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In many parts of Asia, direct eye-contact for more than very brief flashes is considered impolite if not downright aggressive. Japanese salesmen, for example, are trained to look at the upper-right-side cheekbone of a customer rather than into his or her eyes.



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 12:47 AM
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Lack of eye contact is often a sign that you are hiding something and are afraid that it will be somehow revealed in your eyes. It may also be in relation to information or experiences that you've acquired that has changed who you are. Possibly a feeling of disconnect with people, a fear that they may see the pain in your eyes or get too close.



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 12:50 AM
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Originally posted by silent thunder
In many parts of Asia, direct eye-contact for more than very brief flashes is considered impolite if not downright aggressive. Japanese salesmen, for example, are trained to look at the upper-right-side cheekbone of a customer rather than into his or her eyes.


Direct eye contact can be intimate, uncomfortable to some and agressive to others. Ironically the lack of eye contact is also seen as impolite, overly passive and weak, as if the person has something to hide. A salesman that won't look you in the eyes could be seen as a salesman you cannot trust. Hence the phrase, "he looked me dead in my eyes and lied to me, I was outraged". As if he didn't have the decency to lie to me like a normal human being by looking away.

[edit on 29-10-2009 by Colopatiron]



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 12:51 AM
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Originally posted by KingAmongstMen
Speaking of eyes. I had a girlfriend in the past, who had a thing for trying to lick my eyelashes/eye..


A very weird fetish indeed. I've always been complemented on my eyes but some people take it to the extreme.


Wow, I wonder how many eye infections she's given guys by doing that. All that bacteria in her mouth on your eye.



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 01:46 AM
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reply to post by Franz
 


Everything you typed is utterly false, and not supported by psychology or kinesics. There is nothing you can do to cause attraction, there are things you can do to amplify what is already there, but there are tons of ways you can kill it. One way is trying to hypnotize a person by acting like a stooge and making aggressive eye contact. But keep on doing what you do friend, as you continue to experience rejection you'll either come to the conslusion that what I'm saying is true or you'll continue the loop of insanity.



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 04:11 AM
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there are all kinds of girls,if there are girls who go out with "bad boys",these are the same who think aggressive eye contact is sexy,and will get dumped with a child to raze

a..for the eyelash fetish girl....duuuude wtf O_o and i though im cool,im scared of even putting drops of water in my eye..damnn



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 07:07 AM
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Originally posted by EMPIRE
reply to post by Franz
 


Everything you typed is utterly false, and not supported by psychology or kinesics. There is nothing you can do to cause attraction, there are things you can do to amplify what is already there, but there are tons of ways you can kill it. One way is trying to hypnotize a person by acting like a stooge and making aggressive eye contact. But keep on doing what you do friend, as you continue to experience rejection you'll either come to the conslusion that what I'm saying is true or you'll continue the loop of insanity.

I don't want an argument about this and I don't like your patronising tone. You don't know me or what experiences I've had. I also made it quite clear that my behaviour is involuntary, so quit telling me how to behave.

As for "psychology": pah. Mainstream psychology starts from certain conclusions. You should question these assumptions if your experience and research suggests they are erroneous.

In any case, there is plenty of research that supports psychic phenomena. The best summary of it is Dean Radin's book "The Conscious Universe".

As I said, I don't want a debate about this. You will not change my opinions by talking down to me, and I am not interested in changing yours.

[edit on 29-10-2009 by Franz]



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 07:37 AM
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I don't look people in the eyes because, I don't trust anybody nowadays you don't know what side of the fence people are on! Plus everyone is so shady and ghetto or ghetto acting I don't want to be associated with them anyway.



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 08:12 AM
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From an old Science News Letter there was an article that described that looking someone in the eye provides IMPLICATION that they are telling the truth.

However, there is also the EYE-TO-EYE hypnosis technique described Here (see third post)

The Eye-toEye technique is a mainstay of those gypsys that are and con men in general, and scientologists and moonies in particular.

[edit on 29-10-2009 by seataka]

[edit on 29-10-2009 by seataka]



posted on Oct, 29 2009 @ 08:37 AM
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reply to post by seataka
 


Well i never look into somones eyes, and i mostly talk truths all the time, so thats one stat that is wrong.




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