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Looking people in the eyes @_@

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posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 11:58 AM
The is from Sartre's "Being & Nothingness"..

Part 3 Chapter 1: The look

The mere possible presence of another person causes one to look at him/herself as an object, and see his/her world as it appears to the other. This is not done from a specific location outside oneself, it is non-positional. This is a recognition of the subjectivity in others.

This transformation is most clear when one sees a mannequin that one confuses for a real person for a moment.

While they are believing it is a person, their world is transformed, and everything exists as an object that partially escapes them. During this time the world comes on to you differently, and you can no longer have a total subjectivity. The world is now his world, a foreign world that no longer comes from you, but from him. The other person is a "threat to the order and arrangement of your whole world…Your world is suddenly haunted by the Other's values, over which you have no control."[6]

When they realise it is a mannequin, and is not subjective, the world seems to transfer back, and they are again in the center of a universe.

This is back to the pre-reflective mode of being, it is "the eye of the camera that is always present but is never seen".[6] The person is occupied, and too busy for self-reflection.[7]

This process is continual, unavoidable and ineluctable. Subjectivity is competitive. This explains why it can be difficult to look someone in the eye.[6] -

He sums it up quite well..

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:19 PM
reply to post by Stillalive

who are you talking to if your not looking at them?
also whats with the @_@

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:30 PM
Not looking people in the eyes is very much a gender issue that's born with us specifically males.

Women from birth relate to people face to face.

Men don't do that.

Looking someone in the eye is also a dominance/confidence excersice.

Alpha males usually look you in the eye. lesser males will look away.

Ever since learning this I always look people in the eye.

I am an Alpha male now

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:49 PM
yea i know about this xD i had too much free time to read books about this,about the alpha males and stuff... sad thing it its mostly true and works on some people.
its only natural,an innocent looking fella wont want to have eye contact with some scary person that is looking at him angry with no reason.
and plus ...old granyes and gypsies teach us from when we were young that some people have EVIL eye and may curse you with it.
cool that muslim people have the blue eye talisman,its pretty cool XD

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:50 PM
but this IS NOT RIGHT!
why should shy people get stomped on,or walked all over? just couse theyr a bit shy? thats carnivores talking!
would you walk over a handicapped man? NO,then why bully the shy people huh?

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Stillalive]

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:52 PM
This is a great thread!

I recently went through an interview/hiring process for an IT related position. This was a first for me, as I was the one doing the interviews. Right off the bat I noticed eye contact vs. looking away. Those who looked me in the eyes, male and female alike, seemed much more confident in their skills and their ability to do the job. Those that shifted their eyes away, or looked at everything else but my eyes, or the floor, etc. didn't even get a second interview with me.

I had to train myself to look into other peoples eyes, and it has paid off big time for me! I used to be (well, still am somewhat) a shy guy. Looking into the other persons eyes adds a level of communication that I can't quite describe.

I must admit it is fun to look confidently into someone elses eyes just to see how they react.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:52 PM
I almost always look people directly in the eyes. I can tell that sometimes it makes people feel uncomfortable, but it's a position that both demands respect and gives it to the other individual.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 12:56 PM
Everybody I talk to I look directly in the eye its a habit formed as a youngsta.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:02 PM
I always look people straight in the eyes. That is how one establishes dominance. Don't do it and you are doomed to be a follower instead of a leader. At least that is my experience...and I believe that it is a common understanding across the animal kingdom.

Just my 2-cents

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:03 PM

The place for self-help.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:04 PM
I usually go out of my way to make eye contact to people.
On the street, in a restaurant, on the bus, in stores, getting groceries etc...

I've discovered that about 50% of the time people dip their head down when they see you looking at them and avoid the eye contact period.

And there are those certain occasions when you lock eyes and something unexplainable happens, but just for a second.


posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:19 PM
dont make a horrible mistake!
i just got a it photoshop job,and since im me,i didnt make much eye contact,but IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SKILL.
eye contact is only about how you react to other people.
you think u did the right thing hiring some arrogant person?
even though i dont look people in the eye,i have high learning curve,and ALOT of confidence in my skills,gived 2-3 days i learned half of the material.
next day i come saing to my boss "im good now"
he gaved me "do 10 pics in 2 hours" (overkill,he expected only 4)i did 8,and most of them were good enough.
i know interviuwing people is hard,but dont make this mistake brother,alot of introverted people have this hidden potential inside them that KICKS A@@.
last year the other sexist manager made that mistake,taking some emo chick couse of her "skills" (yea right). she quited after some time as expected,seh though going to university is "better"...not in our crappy country,where this job is like being president (bragging rights).
i on the other hand intend to make our work team #1.
sure my self confidence affects my interactions with others,i get offended easily,i go emo some times.
but in the end, my skills are supreme.
so look for the hidden knowledge,not for the eye contact >_

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:32 PM
I have always been under the impression that eye contact is similar to handshakes in the sense that they are a tool for showing dominance. Notice when a person shakes hands with someone generally one with have their hand on top and the other will be on the bottom. The one on top is showing dominance over the other. When someone looks another in the eye, the one who looks away first is showing a sign of weakness and the one who maintains their gaze comes out as dominant.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:41 PM
Always had a problem with looking someone in the eyes, especially if it's a girl I like.

Strange thing is though, if I am angry at someone or arguing with them I stare at there eyes and it doesn't bother me at all.

[edit on 28-10-2009 by valiant]

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:10 PM
I never look a person in the eyes, if i do it's usually a quick glance before my brain kicks in. Then again im an absolute wreck around people...not a sociable creature to put it lightly.A few beers makes me as sociable as most people are sober
In any case, i think looking people straight in the eyes is a sign of confidence, may make other people feel uneasy. Who knows, do what you feel is natural i guess.

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Solomons]

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:15 PM
reply to post by Solomons

I am like you, but i never drink, so i try not to look people in the eyes to much.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:19 PM
Looking people in the eyes is looking right into their souls, which is something that's not being tought at all in our materialistic society.

From peoples eyes you can recognize if they're telling the truth, if they like or dislike you, even how they feel and somehow you can also see their nature.

It's good to train and play with it - brings a lot into one's life. As people are aging, the prints of their souls become visible physically - all of us get old the way we have lived. But with people let's say bellow 50, you only have the eyes to see who they are.

Have you tried to stare into your own eyes in front of a mirror? Try. After sometime you'll feel kind of drowning in them... Don't be shy to look people in the eyes and if you do, use the short moment to extract all the informations that are available.


posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:27 PM

Originally posted by EMPIRE
There is no way you can make someone like you. The person is either attracted to you or they aren't.

Not true. If you have strong nerves (which I don't) you can will someone to like you by looking at them. Part of it is to do with the image you have of yourself. If you like yourself, you can make virtually anyone like you - and instantaneously. Doesn't matter how goodlooking you are. There's a certain trick to it. I know how it's done, but I can't do it properly. Not that I would ever want to manipulate people exactly, but who doesn't want to be liked?

Conversely, if you dislike yourself, you can make anyone dislike you, just by looking at them. Even from behind, sometimes. It's weird. I have a problem with this and I am really struggling to deal with it, as it makes life very difficult.

[edit on 28-10-2009 by Franz]

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:32 PM

Originally posted by valiant
Always had a problem with looking someone in the eyes, especially if it's a girl I like.

Strange thing is though, if I am angry at someone or arguing with them I stare at there eyes and it doesn't bother me at all.

[edit on 28-10-2009 by valiant]

I'm exactly the same. I'm shy as a mouse normally, but when I'm really angry I can stare anyone down.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:37 PM
I can look in the eyes but not for long. I always look down after 1-2 seconds looking in the eyes.

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