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Looking people in the eyes @_@

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posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:03 PM
When people look away, they are accessing memory/imagination of various types. This has been explored in NLP. If the person looks dead centre but not at you it is frequently synesthesia - with several systems engaged.

When I look someone straight in the eye, I can often only give simple answers - in order to talk about more complex things I personally use visual models, so I need to look away. Too bad some people interpret that as not honest.

I feel a different kind of information comes out when you mutually look into the eye. There is a Buddhist practice when you and a partner are supposed to silently look into each other's eyes for 10 minutes - frequently reincarnational memories, auras or other deep things are perceived. I recall when I felt strong attraction to someone and she was looking back (later confirmed as having had attraction on her side towards me too), it was a great feeling to look her in the eye and be at a loss for words...

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:09 PM
reply to post by badgerprints

He may have been right in your culture.
To assume it is the only way of humans on this planet is wrong, though.
This is clearly culture-connected. Having lived in the US for over a decade, I remember most people - especially white males - identified looking in the eye as "the only honest way of talking." It is if you are a middle class white North American, and it is not if you are from a different group...
That IS one major reason why some more superficial people in North America think Arabs are dishonest. The eye thing is not a requirement in their culture - they may stare at you though and a non-Arab may find that weird or threatening.

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:18 PM
Where else do you look ? Maybe the attraction angle is the honesty you project when you converse eye to eye. I try not to judge others by their
actions but communication in a conversation is much more then verbal !
Eye contact is such a truthful and sincere quality in a person.

I do wonder how to deal with someone who has a lazy eye ? its hard not to notice and constantly adjust , this in itself cuts up the level effective

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:18 PM
it was said, that rasputin, a cleric in the employ of the employ of tzaress alexandra of the russian romonov line, could hypnotise with just hie eyes.

he was an odd looking fellow

well i was going to put a pic here, but i cant get it sorted, so heres a link!

i have often had similar thoughts as the OP. but then i am very good looking so its not surprising that girls feel hypnotised by me!

lol hahahahahha

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:31 PM
post removed for serious violation of ATS Terms & Conditions

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:31 PM
This is rapidly becoming my favorite thread. Nice juxtaposition to talk about human psychology and behaviors in contast to the hot-on-tap, full-head doom we dance with; There is adventure and wonder there.

Good humor in here too. Good stuff.

I notice that the cats we live with have similar ....... what to call it..... eye contact protocols?.... something like that. Eye contact with animals is sometimes like an... invitation. For both of you. Cats tend toward stare matches for momentary Alpha domination catpoints, or something. I don't think we're so far apart.

[edit because if it doan make sense to me, it ain g'wan make sense to you]

[edit on 27/10/09 by argentus]

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:36 PM

Originally posted by Terranis
yeah, I always felt uncomfortable looking people in the eye. Always thought I was burning a hole into them
I've felt the exact same way...I just feel uncomfortable when doing it...because it seems like I really make people uncomfortable when I do...well guys anyway...with girls...I've found it does have a strong effect...I've actually used it to pick up girls twice's mind blowing...for those saying they don't understand it, and then stating it couldn't possibly work in the same your mind a little please...eye contact is a powerful thing...for me anyway...and I rarely do it...I don't want to sound like an egomaniac either...but it seems easier to make eye contact when I'm conversing with people who are more intelligent than the average Joe...they don't get unsettled by's almost like when a sheeple looks into my eyes they can't handle what they's overwhelming for they's a window to the soul...and I just don't like putting them through that if it makes them uncomfortable...but women seem very attracted to this...well, a lot of them are...but a lot still aren't...that's the only sense I can make of it...but I do truly think that's sort of what's going on behind the scenes...I hope that made sense to some people...

EDIT: As for those people saying it conveys confidence and shows you have nothing to hide...and I try to make as much eye contact as I feel comfortable with...but as I said...if it makes them feel uncomfortable...then I'm going to hide what they don't want to see as much as I can, out of respect...I don't often avoid it because it makes me uncomfortable...

[edit on 27/10/09 by CHA0S]

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:39 PM
Yes! I'm not the only one! I get told that all the time. It's not out of insecurity or anything. But when I look people directly in the eyes, Its like I know alot about them. Like too much. . .
So I feel like I should avoid eye contact

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:43 PM
As I said in this thread alrady, the "meaning" some posters attach to looking into your eyes as "being honest" is a cultural bias. It works well in North America - except with Afro-Americans of a lower social status.

There are countless hypnotism manuals and salesmen training sessions where people learn to look into your eyes just when they are telling the biggest put-on. Did you ever think about that? People are not always honest when they look you straight in the eye. Maybe they are just skilful. Now a therapy-oriented hypnotist may do tricks in your favour, salesmen and politicians frequently have other interests in front of their mental screens.

The post on the trip experience is interesting.

It is not that people from other cultures or layers don't look you in the eye, they just have different meanings in nonverbal communication. There are simply no standards above culture and sex in this topic, believe me. I studied this for years and made countless experiments to verify the findings of communication scientists and linguists, studied videotapes slowed down etc.
I recommend the books on the different nonverbal comunication sstems of some cultures by Edward T. Hall - they are very entertaining.

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 09:45 PM
I tend to look really hot girls in the eyes when I am talking to them just to see what they do . reply to post by Stillalive

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 10:48 PM
They say the eyes are the window to the soul.. So maybe you can affect someone with just eye contact.
I never know to look at one eye or to switch between the two so i just look through the person.

Which is more socially acceptable? Are you supposed to stare at just one eye or are you supposed to alternate?

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 11:09 PM
reply to post by trueset

I too find it very uncomfortable around people with lazy eyes, not knowing which eye you should be focusing on.

The other wierd thing, a colleague of mine has a lazy eye - we were sitting down at a table having a meeting once, and then she was talking to someone. While she was talking to the other person, she was looking at them, addressing that person directly. However, one of her eyes was in fact looking directly at me - even though I was seated several people away from the person she was addressing.

I was staring at her lazy eye, and her lazy eye was staring back at me - even though she was talking and looking with her other eye at the other person. I was very eerie. I wonder if she was also looking at me, and registering that she was looking at me? Or does the brain shut down one eye, and just uses the data from the good, normal eye?

Is it rude to look someone in their lazy eye?

Also, because they look in two different focal directions, does this give them a wider panoramic field of view?

posted on Oct, 27 2009 @ 11:53 PM
I always look into a persons right eye only. I don't feel comfortable when someone is glancing back and forth between eyes. The exception is someone with a lazy right eye, then I force myself to look into the left eye.

I also generally fail to notice a persons eye color unless it really stands out since I'm focused on the pupil.

I work with someone who has a lazy eye and I've found that when I stop talking with her, it takes me a moment to re-adjust to looking the next person in the right eye again.

As for handshakes, I try to be firm with males, but gently shake a woman's hand. Had a female friend tell me once that she hated men who would squeeze her hand like a mans and that it really hurt her hand. From that day on, I adopted the gentle approach. But I have run into a couple of women who were into the firm shake so I adapt if possible.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:11 AM
reply to post by Lil Drummerboy

Who said I don't look people in the eye? Moreover, did you know that in some cultures it is taboo or disrespectful to look someone in the eye?

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 01:55 AM
I find that I am quit the opposite of some of you. I can't help but to look people in the eyes when I am engaged in conversation with them.

When I was a Corporate Trainer for GE I would conduct classes with upwards of sixty people and I made it a goal for each session to walk around the group while I was talking and make eye contact with every one of them.

It boils down to showing the person that you are engaged with that you respect them and what they have to say enough to pay attention.

I have had many people tell me that I am an intimidating person because of my size and because I look them in the eye, but those same people also tell me that they see me as one of the most dependable and honest person that they've worked with and view me as a Leader.

I don't know about how other women feel about it, but my wife thinks it's sexy the way I look into her eyes.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 05:08 AM
thanks guiz XD but cool it with the "theres no way to make someone love you" will ya

were NOT talking about this,LOVE is kinda different.
lets say were discussing that u can hypnotize someone to be ATTRACTED,or to like u sexualy. and who knows,u can hypnotize them enough to feel true love to you,enough that theyr concuisness gets wraped in a shell. but thats hard i guess XD
besides anyone who wants to hypnotize a girl will jusrt want to make her sexualy like him a bit,then he can SHOW that he is to be loved : D
but i was talking about the whole eye contact process. yea it really seems if you dont look peoplle in the eyes you seem weak,or emo or too good.
you know the type of people who are nice in the beggining but if they see ur too emotional and good,they start getting worse and worse to you,like it begins with a joke..a nasty joke,,,then they try to instult you (mayeb couse they complexed,or just evil) i guess you can pretty much block this kinda people in the early stages by firm eye contact..its all about phyhcology i guess.

hmmm about me i gue...aa i REMEMBER NOW! when i was little and i discovered that i have healing hands,i was scared i can probably affect other people by looking at them,with though,so i slowly stoped looking people in the eyes,how am i suppose to look at my parents when i know i can hurt them with a wrong though at a moment?
yea i was a kid,i was scared,and the complex is still there,it has pretty much screwed alot of relationships for me I: confidence and all

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 06:26 AM
I think what you are asking for is unethical.
I'm a trained hypnotist and those of us that use the craft for things like sexual advancement have been relegated to porn sideshows and the like.
(However, I will offer the following advice, because it's not naughty, and I doubt you'll do it anyway...)

Looking in the eyes is fine. Not looking in the eyes is not.
I too have had people (girls) say, "Don't look at me like that."
when all I was doing was looking at them. But the difference is, I'm not looking at them, I'm looking in them.
Pick one eye, look for your reflection in the pupil, then look past it, you have now officially plumbed the depths of her soul and she thinks you're a weirdo. Congrats!

To appear less weird, break your gaze, certain directions mean certain things, so blink when you do it. It's a cancellation effect.

Now, hypnotising girls into doing things they wouldn't normally do, will only work for an extremely small percentage of humans. It's also dangerous and, in my opinion, wrong. But you can, simply and effectively, imbed suggestions into their psyche via distraction and suggestion.

This is achieved, most easily in an uncontrolled environment, through mild discomfort. For instance:
You work up the courage to talk to a young lady.
You get close enough to reach out and touch her.
You give her the "past one eye gaze."
She reciprocates, but then becomes uncomfortable because you don't break it.
She breaks it.
You immediately touch her, say, on the elbow. (skin on skin is best, but any touch will do.) As you lift or pat her arm, (or whatever, it's important that this touch be "pointlesss and unusual," but don't get slapped!) You say something positive, one word, an idea that you want her to associate with you.
It could be "Cool." "Nice." "Sweet." "Sexy."
She will look back into your eyes at that point. When she does, smile and break your gaze.
If she is weirded out by this, and she should be, a bit, that's the point, and she says, "What do you mean? Cool?"
Say something to make her dismiss the experience, "That's a cool sweater." or whatever....

Obviously this takes planning and practice.
Good luck.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 06:38 AM
Ever since i left school, i have never made eye contact with girls, or females. When i would goto a club, your very sensitive to those things, and i would always look at the floor.

Everytime i spoke to females as a adult, i would look into the air behind them. I learned at school, its in the eyes, and if you never make eye contact, your never going to feel anything. Females really like looking into males eyes.

I just found it really uncomfortable when i was young, so i made sure as a adult i do not do it. Its hard when your out, and especially like i say if your at a club, when your sensitive because of the lights and peoples moods.

But the thread starter is right, its all in the eyes. If you have rotten eyes, your lucky in my view. I always found that male female eye contact thing very uncomfortable.

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 07:25 AM
xaaxaxx yep,and no i dont want to brainwash anyone i was just asking.
anyway when im without glasses i cant see ^@#$^,so i can happily look into peoples faces and since i dont see ^#&& no problem XD

posted on Oct, 28 2009 @ 08:21 AM
reply to post by Stillalive

Fix that behavior. I personally dislike people who don't look at me in the eye when I'm talking to them. It feels like they're lying or something. From what I read here, it also seems that it has something to do with self-esteem. Well, I have a habit of looking down at people like that which I believe is not exclusive to me.

It's not a good behavior.

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