Looking people in the eyes @_@

hello,i dont know when it started but i found out that i rarely look people in the eyes,i avoid eye contact when possible,even subcontiously.
but in rare cases when i look deep into someones eyes i feel kinda strange,like im linking to something,like entering them i dont know...
sure some girls in school really liked to tease me by looking at me,pretty complexing for me xaxa. but when i and a girl from my class started looking at each other it really felt strange like i was brainwashing her or something...
am i just an egomaniac who wants to brainwash people,or is there something more to eyes?
educate me I:
like alot of people say you can easily make a girl like you by lots of eye contact
what with the eyes guis?

reply to post by Stillalive

That is so spooky I have found myself going through the same thing,I chalked it up to a sense of low self esteem due to current job situation and financial troubles.I'll be curious to see what comments you receive here.

I know exactly what you mean, sometimes it just seems inappropriate to looks someone in the eyes.. and at the same time it seems just as weird to not. I feel like that quite often when I'm talking to people.

Windows to the soul. It is hard to hide your thoughts from those that are experienced in reading people's eyes.

As for gaining control. People can only really do what they are willing to do. Welcome to the forays of deeper relationships.

yeah, I always felt uncomfortable looking people in the eye. Always thought I was burning a hole into them. I can do it now, but had to train myself since I was a child.

Interesting topic... For me, at a greeting a typical handshake. if it is weak I typically blow'em off as not worthy of my remaining time I have to spend with them. If someone can't be respectful to give a firm handshake then it is deemed a waste of my time. As for making Eye contact.. again if they cant appear that they really give a crap about who I am then I don't bother with any further interest in effort.

great ur understanding my drama.
*half the time its being shy couse of girls/drama
*the other half is scared of being rude,or hostile with eye contact,especialy if u happen to be a polite good person.
very strange though when we playfully started eye wars,with my schoolmate (girl),i felt that i can just connect to her like a giant libraly.
i dare say,if ur one of the people who have basic knowledge of energy,u can alot more easily brainwash,or do bad stuff like affecting theyr energy.
i think when we can manifest everything with our thoughts,and we want to affect someone,when were having eye contact with them our thoughts are ALOT STRONGER,couse they go directly into theyr subcontious..or something like this.
am i the only one who feels evil xexXD

There is no way you can make someone like you. The person is either attracted to you or they aren't.

Originally posted by EMPIRE
There is no way you can make someone like you. The person is either attracted to you or they aren't.

So what are you looking for ? Eye contact with someone you are " interested in" or someone to combine respect with

reply to post by Lil Drummerboy


I don't understand your question, but I do understand the laws of physical attraction and there is no way you can "make" someone like you. A person, especially a woman, likes you or she doesn't.

I think perhaps my perspective has been shaded by living in a small population area for the last 15 years.

I have no difficulty looking people directly in the eyes, however I think I project gentleness and humor. I reserve the "crazy-grandma" (one of my reknown ancestors) look for those who deserve it.

I think sometimes -- and I noticed this when we lived in a large population density -- people use their eye contact as a weapon, to ward off, to warn, to incite fear. Even 15 years ago, an errant look at a stoplight had the potential of causing a confrontation. Perhaps some are conscious of the threat in modern times and just opt out.

I'm nearly deaf in both ears -- shooting and punk bands (however not at the same time lol) -- and some of my friends have said that upon meeting me, they were unnerved by my looking at their mouths, rather than eyes. Hey, it's how I hear, for the most part. Men with bushy moustaches are very difficult for me to understand when they speak.

I think I feel more respect for someone who looks at my eyes directly. Not to say that I disrespect those that don't; I think I'm more likely to trust someone who looks at me when they speak.

reply to post by Lil Drummerboy


must admit I never have shook hands with much strength, although I could, ish. Never liked showing anyone what i've got (not sure I ever had anything mind) I may have read too many louis l'amour novels when I was young.
best regards english dan

reply to post by Terranis
A firm handshake is a sign of confidence. you don't have to compete to who is stronger.

reply to post by EMPIRE
[more) the question wasn't about attraction. but why exactly are you not looking your person in the eye.

reply to post by Lil Drummerboy


At the other end of the scale some of my friends and business associates try to break my bleedin fingers when they shake. Or it could be me being soft.

I worked at a Nudist Resort. I learned on Day #1 that eye-to-eye conversations are preferable. I do it always now.

And before you ask, 75% of nudists, in my opinion, should keep their clothes on!
But 100% of them are the nicest, most open people on the earth.

Cuhaiol

Originally posted by Terranis
reply to post by Lil Drummerboy

 

At the other end of the scale some of my friends and business associates try to break my bleedin fingers when they shake. Or it could be me being soft.

Well, no judgment here but I say yeah ya might have lady hands. nut up a little.

reply to post by Stillalive


Always look a person in the eye! If you do not some will think you are weak and or are hiding something.

After a long time spent in hospital I found it difficult to look someone else in the eyes but I soon realised that as my self esteem got better I found that I had to look people in the eye. If you avoid eye contact you give others of a less then friendly disposition an excuse to avoid giving you the respect that all people deserve.

In my younger years I once had a revolver jammed into my guts in a minor argument in a pub and the man I was arguing with wanted me scared, and I felt scared. However I looked down at the gun and then looked at him and said 'Cool gun are you selling it'? Actually it was a garbage looking silver thing and I did not want to buy it but that was not the point.

I felt like being physically sick but from remaining calm and most importantly by looking the man in the eyes and showing him I was a sentient being like him. The situation was defused with a burst of laughter because we made long eye contact and also because I remained calm.

It was only afterwards that I allowed myself to be sick.

That has been my experience at least that you are meant to look a person in the eye and hold it but not so much that you end up staring.

I find that when talking to people i don't take my eyes of theirs even when they are doing hand gestures or demonstrating something i still find my eyes locked onto theirs im sure people find this intimidating i just find it hard to imagine not looking someone in the eyes.

Way back in the old days when I was a wee lad my dad taught me to always look people in the eyes.

A person who looks you in the eyes is showing you more than a person who looks away. Back then it was seen as a sign of respect and trust.

Now things like simple eye contact and a handshake are derided as throwbacks of an overly masculine society and people are taught to be noncommital and furtive in their behavior.

Good god. We wouldn't want to show a bit of openness and self confidence to another human. That might offend somebody.