Dear Red States... , page 1

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Topic started on 27-10-2009 @ 05:00 PM by IconoclasticTalamasca

Best of Craigslist

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:01 PM by IconoclasticTalamasca

I got a kick out of this even though I have been living in Texas for the past two years. I was born and raised in Virginia and Texas is an improvement...besides the mosquitoes.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:08 PM by endisnighe

Wisconsin may have been voting blue the last few elections, but my family use to vote exclusively Democratic. Our last get together they all asked me what the hell is going on? I told them it does not matter who you vote for. You either get destructive idiot party A or destructive idiot party B. They asked me who to vote for and I said how the hell do I know, I think we should start a revolution and they all busted up laughing. So did I. It is getting crazy man.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:16 PM by badgerprints

Originally posted by IconoclasticTalamasca
Best of Craigslist

Dear Red States...

We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

Sounds fair to me.

As long as the rest of us don't have to put up with California and DC then we'll get along just fine.

I don't think your math is right on income and taxes but assuming it is then you will need that two thirds of tax revenue to pay for your socialism and world government remittances.

We'll just work for a living and actually pay our bills.

By the way, that whole slavery thing, it got done away with a while back. You might want to check out your history book from grade school.

We also have running water and lec-tricity. We use it when we get in from the square dances late and have to curry down the horses and put away the barouche.

Oh yeah.

We're gonna have to increase the charges on refining for yew folks. Your blue state dollars are only worth about 15 cents.
And you ain't got no credit left.

Yee-haw !

[edit on 27-10-2009 by badgerprints]

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:25 PM by CallMeDrLove

trolling comment by returning banned member removed

[edit on Oct 27th 2009 by Djarums]

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:28 PM by GradyPhilpott

Fine. Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out and don't come crying to us when you're paralyzed by crime and government regulation.

By the way, that post won't pass muster.

[edit on 2009/10/27 by GradyPhilpott]

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:29 PM by LordBaskettIV

Sorry Michigan is not a blue state , Detroit is. The rest is red....we keep the lakes commie.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:30 PM by SpaDe_

I am all good with that. I would like to relocate to a red state however since I am currently located in a blue state that has the worst unemployment in the country. My awesome blue state also sports the county/region with the fatest people in the country. In fact we have so many #1's I don't know who wouldn't want to move here. Lets break down this super sweet blue state.

#1 for unemployment
#1 for obese people
#1 for automobile hijacking/theft
#1 for most dangerous city
#1 for lowest median home price in a city

The list goes on and on, so spare me with the hero talk. Blue = FAIL and a mighty large helping of it might I add!

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:32 PM by SpaDe_

reply to post by LordBaskettIV

I am 100% with you on that! I live in this failed state, but there is still potential. If we get to go red and keep the lakes I say bon voyage detroit!

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:44 PM by XTexan

Sounds good to me, where do I sign?

I like how he forgets to mention that the red states get NASA, Texas Instruments, AT&T and countless other corporations.

Have fun with your excessive taxes, and government regulation... Oh and your debt, cause the first thing that the country of New California will have to do is go bankrupt.

Oh and once we split, be sure not to try and start anything with us, we'll have all the guns.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:48 PM by loki41872

Dear Blue States,

We'll help you pack.

Oh yeah, we're keeping all the guns, since you blue states think they're evil and scary.

Well, all the guns except for the ones owned by your large criminal population!

Oh, and you can have all the child molestors too.

I'm sure it's gonna be a Liberal paradise.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 05:48 PM by gazerstar

Everytime I read stuff like this, I think: That's okay. We get the lion's share of the farmland, thus most of the food. Good luck eating your money.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 06:08 PM by liveandletlive

You have no Idea how much I wish we could make this happen. Where do I sign? Nobody in the south say anything. Let the blue states think they would be better off. If we support them, maybe they will actually do it!

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 06:20 PM by Southern Guardian

it continues:

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

If we get DC, what city do ya'll down in the red states nominate to be capital? Dallas? Atlanta?

SG

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 06:24 PM by TheRedneck

The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We got plenty of land to bury him in. No problem; well worth the trade.

(You do remember Ken Lay is dead, right?)

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

A big corroding statue that's 200 years old compared to awesome rides and shows... you're too kind!

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

...and Redstone Arsenal and Boeing and SCI... and that's just one town. I think I can live with an AMD chip and Linux.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

... And UAB (leading medical research university), UAH (leading science/engineering university in constant competition with MIT and UCLA), as well as plenty of others... but don't despair, some of your ball teams might actually start winning games now....

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

Woo-Hoo! That means you get 85% of the government regulations, including unfunded mandates... er, you gonna take your 85% of the National Debt too, right?

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

No problem, since you're taking all the expensive social programs!

So let me make sure I got this right... we get the food, we get the freedom, we split the corporate jobs and the higher universities, and you get the regulations, social programs, debt, and red tape?

We keep the guns, you keep the crime?

We keep individual potential, you get to pay for government restrictions on freedom?

YEEEEE-HAAAAW! Would you like an escort out?

(rural MI, you're welcome as long as you dig a moat around Detroit)

TheRedneck

As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 06:28 PM by liveandletlive

Originally posted by Southern Guardian
it continues:

If we get DC, what city do ya'll down in the red states nominate to be capital? Dallas? Atlanta?

SG

Your already butting into our buisness and your not even gone yet. Leave it to us and mind your own buisness!

edit to add:

[edit on 27-10-2009 by liveandletlive]

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 06:30 PM by SpaDe_

Originally posted by TheRedneck

(rural MI, you're welcome as long as you dig a moat around Detroit)

TheRedneck

Give me a shovel and I will start digging! Would be better off without that cancer spot on the map that they call a city anyhow!

reply posted on 27-10-2009 @ 06:30 PM by redoubt

reply to post by IconoclasticTalamasca

Dear Red States...

Dear regional/social bigots, where ever you may be,

Not everyone in the so-called 'red states' thinks the same way, votes the same way, or even looks the same way, despite what you may have heard about us down here in Alabama marrying our sisters.

It doesn't take a very intrepid mind to dish out cheap political stereotypes. In fact, it takes no mind at all to beg a belly laugh based on the same concept that nurtures racism.

Have a nice day