I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in my late teens. I wasn't able to finish school and had to be hospitalized several times for my illness. After getting out of the hospital for a second time I decided to go to work.

I spent 8 years in the workforce and out of that 8 years 4 of them were spent unemployed. I had 5 different jobs. I was fired from 2 laid off from 1 and quit 2. I lost every single job because of my illness.

My illness has been a great hardship for me and my family. While unemployed I had no insurance and was forced to pay cash for my medications which cost $400 and month. Alot of time my grandmother had to pay for them. Without the medicaions I can become violent because of hallucinations and delusions. So it was important that I take them.

6 months after quiting my last job I didn't know what else to do so I filed for Social Security Disability. My doctor that I had been seeing for 9 years said he agreed with the decision.

I filed for disability 4 years ago. I went in front of a judge and she drilled me for an hour and a half with questions. She denied me disability and disreguarded my doctors statements saying "he was just being sympathetic to my cause". My doctor is a MD and his offices are through an outpateint resourse at a local hospital.

I have school records showing the school had me labled as emotionaly disturbed as far back as 3rd grade. I have work records showing my behavior at work was inapropriate. I had two hospitalizations that were well documented. Each hospitalization was over a month. They listed my prognosses as poor.

My lawyer said he is dropping my case becuase my doctor didn't record any of my symtoms. My doctor is not a counselor. I didn't not talk to my doctor about my symtoms. I see him for 5 minutes every other month just to get my persciption. I did not tell him of symtoms because all he could do is increase my meds. Most doctor belive schizophrenia is purely biological and behavior threarapy is useless. I could not have my meds increased while trying to work. Schizophrenia medications are highly sedating. They also impaired my ability to function. They are so sedating that when I was in the hospital I slept 23 hours a day.

I live with my grandmother and she has breast cancer. My biggest fear is becoming homeless and not being able to get my meds. I wish I could go to school but I wouldn't be able to function in classroom setting. Same with work.

I can not interact with others. I have one friend that stops by once a week other then that I don't interact with people. Even on the holidays when my family gets together I stay home. I lead a miserable exsistance.

Schizophrenia has distroyed my life. I am bitter over my situations but I don't blame anyone. It's just the cards I've been delt and have to deal with it. I envy those able to lead a normal life.

Just try not to end up homeless, as many who have known you may love it, cruel world and all.

Sad to hear stories like yours, you just need to know that your not alone,a nd you need to find things to do to fill your time as best you can. Hobbies, and computers, training, all things you can do on computers. Just try to make sure you do not end up homless, as like i said its a cruel world, and people love seeing people down.

ur blaiming the state of being crazy for ruining ur life?
that doesnt make any sense.

I, apologise for my flippant joke.

it was kinda funny?

Youre situations not

EDIT: Because people that type "Second Line" deserve to be shot.

[edit on 26-10-2009 by Agent-ATS]

I feel for you, I truly do.
I dont know if youve ever had complete battery of tests done on blood levels of "everything", but you may want to look into it.
I'll just say 3 relatives in my lifetime have battled this, and 2 out of the 3 traced it back to very rare abnormal hormone levels , and the thyroid was the culprit. Something about levels and the pineal gland and the hypocampus,
since treatment on the thyroid, and in one case removal, along with medicine things are fair to good.
The auditory and visual hallucinations are gone, the thought process is productive and balanced, and the personal hell for them has been removed.
I wish you the best, truly I do.
I'd say be positive, you seem very strong.

Hey bro - DON'T GIVE UP!

It can ALLWAYS get BETTER! I think your first priority is to FIGHT the crazyness. You know you have a condition, and you know what's real and whats not.. You have to keep fighting!

Don't focus on all the things that can go wrong, focus on the things that can go RIGHT in your life.

The best advice I can give you is; STOP spending time here at ATS and similar sites. STOP watching TV shows about paranormal stuff. IT WILL FEED YOUR ALLREADY OUT OF CONTROLL IMAGINATION!

Exercise, be active, be in nature, learn a skill, try to meet "sain" people, be yourself, be honest, and above all: NEVER GIVE UP!

[edit on 26-10-2009 by Jauqx]

that must be tough.. and one day you wont have it,, did u ever try meditation? msg me for info on how if interested.. worth a shot but must be sincere

Originally posted by Jauqx
Exercise, be active, be in nature, learn a skill, try to meet "sain" people, be yourself, be honest, and above all: NEVER GIVE UP!

[edit on 26-10-2009 by Jauqx]

Best advice is to exercise and feel better about yourself, and do a computer course or something to focus on. Like said above stop watching tv, its garbage.

But like said there, never give in or give up, people love to see people fail in life, and people are cruel, and theres lots in the government like that. You have to get through this yourself. Only you can help you.

Bless your heart! My heart goes out to you. Sending thoughts, prayers, and positive energy your way. I really don't know what to say. Given the seriousness of your condition, any advice from anyone who is not a doctor specifically trained to treat your illness is potentially dangerous for you and those around you. I've heard that there are homeopathic routes that have helped some people with schizophrenia. Ask your doctor if that might be an option for you. It doesn't hurt to ask, and it's worth it especially if you can get it cheaper. I would suggest meditation, but I have read that meditation can make schizophrenic symptoms worse, so I'm afraid to suggest it. Please talk to your doctor and ask about any alternatives, and most importantly, don't give up on yourself. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. Good luck and please keep us updated on your progress.

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To the original poster:

Don’t give up hope. Finding the right doctors, and the right meds with the optimum dosages can make a huge difference. It is also important to do as much as you can to help yourself. While the illness itself may be completely biological, living with it will certainly have psychological effects. Counseling can help with that. Perhaps try some of the tons of self-help material available on the Internet-- that could help with problem areas like relating to others.

Actually through your writing and your post you make a good first impression. Sometimes it’s easier to communicate in writing, where you have a chance to look over your words and reconsider or rewrite. Not like speaking in person where you can be at a loss for words, or say something rash that comes out sounding wrong.

Perhaps you will make some friends here on ATS. There have been a number of other posts on schizophrenia, so you are not alone.

And don’t be afraid to post about your other thoughts and interests. There are a great many people here, of all ages, interests and abilities. Most of them are pretty nice. When you don’t get out much, the Internet can be a wonderful doorway to the world. You can meet people and discuss things in a way you just can’t do in person. Plus you can talk when you feel like it and be left alone when you’re not in the mood!

Best of luck. I hope to see lots more from you.


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Sorry to read of your woes wantsome.

A few thoughts that I hope will help:
Ask yourself this, or even your doctor/psychiatrist ~ What is the difference between a psychic/telepath and a schizophrenic?
The answer is none in a metaphysical sense of understanding.

Be kind to yourself:
Think benevolent and it will ultimately connect as benevolent.
If you connect malevolent then think benevolent there too ~ it will be another troubled person in time past present:present future: They are not in your here & now and are thus not a physical threat to you. Nor should you pose as a physical threat to them.
Telepathy between two people both in the here & now requires that they align all there chakras with each other, and that requires a degree of physical intimacy too, and considerable benevolence of mind ~ at least that's the theory.

Also give priority to people who attempt to converse with you orally.
Tell anybody you perceive to be in your head to come back later when you will have time to think about it.
Furthermore do not speak out any such thoughts aloud, nor mouth the words silently.
If you speak your words/answers out loud as if somebody was there in your physical presence, there is no two way psychic/telepathy connection, which can be confusing.
Conversely, reading something out aloud from a favourite book say, can shut out any disturbing unwanted thoughts.
Anyway I wish you luck and benevolence of mind.


[edit on 27-10-2009 by Epipactis]

[edit on 27-10-2009 by Epipactis]

The US medical/insurance system is hard to work. There is a method to follow in building a case and that's not what medicine should be about.
Go through the motions and you will get help even if it takes a long time.