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* Rock a bye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will be safe because the tree has undergone a health and safety assessment.
* London Bridge is undergoing planned engineering works. Please wait for further announcements. [my personal favourite]
* Three visually impaired mice, three visually impaired mice. See how they run, see how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife, who handed them over to the RSPCA.