posted on Oct, 16 2009 @ 05:17 PM
Originally posted by Julie Washington
I understand when you say your mom is sharp as a tack. My mom was too - but it was manipulation. Her manipulation and lying were the perfect coverup
to her condition for years.
I believe that this is precisely what is going on. She is intelligent and has no memory or reasoning impairment that I can detect (hoarding aside).
She is desperate to conceal this disorder from anyone besides my immediate family and that is why she has withdrawn from social interaction and has
nobody over to her house. She has draped off most areas of the house from view and for years has prohibited me from entering any room with a closed
door. She has admitted that they are off limits to me because they are "that bad".
There is not really a hygiene issue, per se, just incredible volumes of household items, decades of newspapers and magazines, and all the worldly
possessions of her deceased parents, mother-in-law, aunt and uncle. At last count, she had 5 fridges, four sets of living room and bedroom furniture,
all of the dead relatives clothes and kitchen utensils, china, lamps, small appliances, you name it. She can't part with anything from her past nor
her relatives' past.
In a recent confrontation I had with her over my concerns for her well-being, I made it clear that the magnitude of the effort that it would require
to clean up and dispose of unnecessary things exceeds anything that I or my husband are physically and emotionally capable of, nor have the time to
She refuses to hire outside help to do this -- she doesn't want anyone else to know her secret. I told her that I steadfastly refuse to be the
steward of her collection. This is why, I speculate, that she does not want me to find out the truth about the details of her Power of Attorney. In
all likelihood she did assign me, without my knowledge or consent, and doesn't want me to know.
I wrestle daily with the dilemma of "turning her in" (with the best of intentions only to have her regard it as the ultimate in betrayal and then do
something stupid out of despair) or abandoning her and not falling prey to her manipulations any longer. Part of me wants to hug her because she is
clearly struggling with some demon, but another part of me just wants to shake her because she so wantonly thinks she can exploit me because I am
expected to be a subservient daughter.