Is it wrong to feel pleasure when friends lose their jobs ?, page 1

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:43 PM

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Not your nice friends, obviously ; the not so nice ones. And we've all got them.

My friend and his Wife are both bank managers ... or were. Both were paid off this week. For the last twenty years I've suffered the pair of them, family connections mean I've just had to put up with them. They've lived the most excessive lifestyle for most of that, a vastly expensive house, new cars every year, luxury holidays ... she drips in gold, he's never off the golf course. Their children have been spoiled rotten with every consumer gizmo known to man, heck they've got four PS3's in one house, flatscreen TV's in every room. Unbelievable stuff. And he's a genuinely nasty piece of work too ... he thinks flash cash can get him anything he wants, he treats people like sh*t because he's got money ... and he gets away with it too.

I work in the public sector for what is, to me, an absolute pittance ... little more than I could receive on social security, which is quite amusing considering it's social security I actually work for. But I love my job, really enjoy helping people, always have.

So he's phones me today ... how are they going to pay their mortgage (£525,000) and car loans ? How are they going to pay their school fees ? How to pay their credit cards and all the rest .... ??

So I tells him straight ... it's £64.30 (USD $100 ?) per week for each of them ... and that's it. And you could hear the penny drop as it finally clicks into his head that social security isn't going to make even the slightest dent in his parlous finances.

And he went mad at me. "How the h*ll are we expected to live on that, we've paid into the system for years and that's all we get ???"

And you know what ? I couldn't care less about him. Really couldn't. He's had it all while I've had to scrimp and save for the last twenty years. And I can't understand why I'm feeling like this either, I'm normally the first to help folks out or be a shoulder to cry on. They're going to lose everything ... and I really couldn't give a toss for the pair of them.

Should I feel guilty about their unemployment ? Help them out ? Or continue to enjoy this little period of schadenfreude I'm going through ? What about the other people in the same boat as them ?

Dunno. I'm just can't sympathise with them at all. Hee hee

earthdude

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:49 PM

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I feel joy when those who have been part of the banking scam no longer get to spend my money. My last girlfriend had $20,000 worth of handbags yet could not feed her daughter, banker.

nixie_nox

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:50 PM

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As bank managers, I wonder how many people called begging for help and they turned them down. Or how many checks were suddenly held for a few days so payments bounce. Or how many people begged for loans soo they can get help? Or asked that one fee be dropped from a mistake?

I wonder how many?

Morbo the Annihilator

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:55 PM

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Nah. A good, healthy schadenfreude never hurt anyone, at least, never hurt those that deserve it.

I know what you mean, though. My sister-in-law is just, well, I think she's the antichrist, but she never goes to work, has taken copius amounts of time off, always has an excuse for why she can't come in, takes long lunches, is totally rude to her associates, and, yet continues to get raises. Man, I WISH she's lose her job.

So, yeah, you're not alone.

jjkenobi

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:57 PM

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Yes, it's wrong to feel joy when they lose their jobs.

It is NOT wrong however, to feel joy when they lose their job and they have been living extravagantly with no emergency funds or backup plan like complete idiots.

doped00

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:59 PM

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As hard as it might be I think you should help them only if they are going to whole heartedly respect you and appreciate you for it. It might not be today, it might not be in a week, but they may come in a month and honestly need your help.

StinkyFeet

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:01 PM

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reply to post by Ulala

Welll I don't think you are wrong for feeling that way for a bit. You are just human and we all have our darkside. However, it should give you a chance to examine why you have been jealous of these people for years and years for no good reason. You were doing what you liked and they were doing what they liked. Look at this as a good experience to learn more about your own character and ways to improve it.

[edit on 14-10-2009 by StinkyFeet]

lucentenigma

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:02 PM

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Don't get me wrong I believe people who work hard or come up with new ideas should be rewarded for their work.

But these people are are just parasites who feed of the labor of others.

It's not like they produced anything to make their money, they just stole it.

IMO they shouldn't get a dime, a boot up the rear would be more appropriate.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[edit on 14-10-2009 by lucentenigma]

mikerussellus

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:03 PM

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reply to post by Ulala

Naw, feel sorry for their kids, maybe. They were raised like that. Bad on mum and dad.

having some humility in life may be a good thing. Teach them all some values that are more important than money.

parrallel

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:04 PM

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S&F
Great post my friend....am so impressed i just showed my 13 yr old daughter this post because i want her to understand the value of money and what happens when people get into debt

badgerprints

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:07 PM

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Originally posted by Morbo the Annihilator
Nah. A good, healthy schadenfreude never hurt anyone, at least, never hurt those that deserve it.

That's the word I was trying to think of.

Yup.

I'd like to see some politicians, bankers and wall street moguls live off of a tiny fixed income for a while.

That would be quality entertainment.

muzzleflash

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:09 PM

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Are you telling me bankers do not know how to count money well enough to have decent savings left over?

Ironic and funny.

But you should help them if they need it. And charge 30 % interest. Mwahahaha

DaddyBare

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:12 PM

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Don't get too giddy we're still faced with a Deleveraging economy and the odds are still pretty good for us to slip into another "Great Depression"
Your banker friends are in indicator... proof to my statement... weighed down by accumulated debt more and more banks will fail more job losses... forget AP News and MSN what I see is a downward spiral... soon to be free-fall

AmethystSD

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:15 PM

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Why does it have to be part of our dark side when it seems like in a small way things are balancing out? That's what I see it as. These people are obviously not your friends. But now they have the opportunity to see what other people have been living like, and maybe they will develop as human beings.

I mean, I assume that you aren't hoping for them to starve to death, you just wanted to see them get a hefty dose of reality?

double_frick

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:17 PM

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without reading your whole post (so shoot me)
i have to say how troubling it is to hear that not only do people DELIGHT in others misery or misfortune...even their friends!!!

its bad enough that we are being 'attacked' on every front by 'TPTB' we have to also attack eachother and why? do we not have enough negativity and hardship to deal with on a large scale that we must be so petty as to find joy in others discomfort? i guess that kind of thinking is what makes 'TPTB' as hated as they are. so, though i wish no ill-will toward anyone for any reason, i do hope you see the hypocrisy here.

i'm sorry, but i don't even delight when my 'enemy' experiences suffering and misfortune, let alone my so-called friends, acquaintances, strangers, etc.

StinkyFeet

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:17 PM

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reply to post by Ulala

So I guess it would be ok with you if they were happy to see you and your wife get a divorce and watch your family implode, because they were jealous of you and your wifes marriage?

I always thought this site was full of peope that are jealous of people that have more than them, and this whole thread just confirms my suspicions.

[edit on 14-10-2009 by StinkyFeet]

TheRedneck

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:18 PM

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The following is my opinion as a member participating in this discussion.

I'd say what you're feeling is normal. What is commendable is that even while succumbing to the same human emotions we all have, you still wonder if it's 'right'. Star for that, and a flag because this will be facing many more people as time continues.

I have actually seen a similar situation in my own life. My boss (technically crew leader; she can't fire me, but she could complain to the real boss) is one of those people who loves to give their employees a hard time. Many days I have come home exhausted and frustrated, because despite my attempts to work as hard as possible, my production was low because she gave me the hardest and slowest parts of the job to do. She of course took the fastest and easiest.

She and her husband both work for this company, giving them two incomes. I have but one income, as my wife has some health problems that prevent her from holding down a job. She makes crew leader wages; both have a base pay higher than me. She sets the schedule and they each get more hours per week than I do. They have four young children (oldest is 12, I think), while I have two, ages 15 (in tech school) and 18 (in college). I can only wish I had the income they do.

Every day, after work, they have me to stop so they can eat out. $20 is not an uncommon tab for the two of them at a fast food joint. I rarely eat until I get home, and when I do, it's either a tin of sardines during a break, or maybe a $1 burger to tide me over.

Last week, I got a phone call from him. He was out of gas. Completely. He was out of money. Completely. He couldn't afford to come to work. So what did I do? I put gas in his car.

The whole time I was thinking back to the times when she would threaten my hours in one way or another, and the lavish eating out while I waited, and the other extravagances they indulged in. They didn't really deserve my help, IMO. They make more than I do, and threaten the pittance I make? They make my performance suffer so theirs stays high? They eat hearty while I wait? And now they need me?

And yet, I gassed up their car.

I'm not really sure why. Perhaps it's that I know they can't survive the way I do. Perhaps I know they aren't as strong. Maybe I'm just soft-hearted. Or maybe I understand somehow, subconsciously, that it's not my place to judge them; the economy will do that.

I still feel sorry for them. After all, this job is all they really know. For me, it's just a job to keep me out of a truck while I take care of some things at home. For them, financial collapse is inevitable; for me, survival is inevitable.

Nah, don't feel pleasure. Feel sympathy. You are stronger than they are. Weakness is nothing to be happy about.

TheRedneck

As an ATS Staff Member, I will not moderate in threads such as this where I have participated as a member.

Nicademus

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:19 PM

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I don't blame you one bit. Sounds like they deserve everything they get. I was a lot like them in some respects. I used to make a crap-load of money, but the oilfield shut down and i haven't made a dime in about 12 months. The big difference is i bought everything i own with cash. I have zero debt and i saved as much as i could, more because i didn't wanna work for the rest of my life then I'm a "thrifty" person. I have flat-screens in every room, we all have our own favorite gaming consoles, computers, i-pods, 7 cars 2 boats,and an RV. 2 houses etc. So ya, i spent alot of money on semi-useless crap. So in that respect I am a lot like your friends. They sound like they have a lot of debt. I have none. That is why i am still doing just fine. Thanks to my fairly substantial savings. Actually better than fine. I am probably the happiest i have ever been in my life. I had to sacrifice a lot of things to make that kind of cash, the most important one was my family. I spent roughly 20-30 days home a year. The rest of the time i was away working. I missed the first 3-6 years of my kid's lives. But now i get to spend as much time with them as i want. I consider myself far richer today then i was a year ago. Hopefully this will happen to your friends as well. I would try and concentrate on that positive in your dealings with your friends.

To give a solid answer to your question though. NO it is natural to feel good when someone gets what they (in your opinion) had coming. Karma is a bitch. You could maybe help the in there transition to the real world. If they sell all there crap they might be able to get out of enough of there debt to keep there heads above water and reconnect with each other.

chillpill

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:45 PM

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Yes, actually. I think it is wrong and rather two-faced. "Family ties" are no excuse for anyone to hide behind if they find behaviour abhorrent.

Blaming all people who work for banks is also wrong - as is wishing them harm.

Yep, a £525k mortgage is excessive in my book - and it goes against my personal morality but I cannot judge.

You made your choices and you need live with them. You made your choice to live on a pittance to do good. Live with that.

Most people who work for banks work for lower wages than public sector workers - the vast majority of bank staff are women working part time in low paid support roles to augment family income. Those on rock star wages are a small proportion and tend to be located in the Square mile. They are no more the "masters of the universe" than you or I and deserve empathy.

Yes, many of the banks are morally bankrupt - but that's something thats been driven from the top. There are many honest, hard working people in the banking industry (I am not one of them in case you think I present a favourable case) and are no more worthy of blame than you or I.

I dont wish to wish harm to any one of those people. They just need to live their lives - you are lucky in the public sector...you have security and a "gold plated" pension that I pay for....

Erasurehead

posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 03:56 PM

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My question to the OP is why do you even consider these people your friends? You don't like them very much. Perhaps it was convienent for you to be their friends when they were doing well. So to answer your question: Yes it is wrong to feel pleasure then friends lose their jobs and if you do then those people were never really your friends to begin with.

Anyway. It is their own fault for thinking the good times would last forever and not putting some money away. Tell them to sell off their stuff that they don't need like the TVs, and gold and they should get by ok.