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I Don't Want to Remember Anymore (CCHWC)

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posted on Oct, 13 2009 @ 09:21 PM
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The crisp night air was quiet and still and a thick fog had rolled into the sleepy town from the nearby river causing the streetlight to only cast a tight circle light in Jenny's yard. A small rabbit that hopped into the light to nibble on the remaining clover was the only proof that there was life on the mid-autumn night. Peacefully the rabbit sat and nibbled, twitching his nose as he dined on the closed leaves and tender stems. He cocked an ear more out of habit than need until a faint sound had caught his ear and he froze. A short sniff and a pause, then another sniff. Satisfied that there was nothing there he began to graze on the clover again.

Desperation caused both his ear and head to turn to see just how close the noise was and he froze again. The sound was close and in his unblinking eye the vague shape could just be seen as it approached close. The streetlight went out and from the darkness a brief staccato squeak from the rabbit could be heard and then the foggy night was silent once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenny was a precocious young girl with raven black hair in braided pigtails. For all of her 8 years, her next door neighbor Billy had been her best friend. Billy was the quintessential blue-eyed blonde, adventurous and inquisitive. Just looking at him, you could tell that there was always a frog or rock or other treasure of a young boy in his left front pocket. He always walked over to Jenny's house when finished with breakfast and together they would go outside for the day's adventure.

The sun was warm and bright today as they made their way across the yard. Jenny spied the rusty colored clump of fur and asked, “Oh Billy, what is it.”

“Just a small patch of fur. There is something black and sticky on it. Like tar.” Billy explained as he picked it up and examined it. “Looks like it's from a rabbit or maybe a cat.”

“Ew, there is skin attached to it. Get rid of it. I don't want to remember that anymore.”

Billy knew there was no way that Jenny would let him keep this prize. So disappointed he crossed the street to toss the scrap of the rabbit into the tall weeds of the empty lot. “There it's gone. So where are we going today, Jenny?”

“I was thinking of the alley, and maybe down by the river. We need more wood to finish building our fort.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day was eventful for gathering supplies. They found two old carpet floor mats and an empty wooden cable spool that only had a broken board. Jenny carried the mats as Billy rolled the spool to edge of the trees that was back end of the empty lot. Billy struggled to salvage the other boards from the spool as Jenny used the rusty nails and their rock to nail them into their place. The dirtier of the two mats was to become a welcome mat while the other was placed on the floor next to the dingy pillowcase, nearly completing the makeshift carpeted floor.

“This starting to look less like a fort and more like a house.” Billy noted flatly.

“I think it looks better this way. Besides, it will keep our clothes from getting too dirty when we are sitting on the floor since we don't have chairs yet.” replied Jenny just as flatly.

“Well let's go down to the river and see what we can find there today.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Down by the river, the best they could find today was a short length of rope. As they were about to leave, their luck would change and they happened on a stray dog. “We are definitely keeping him,” said Billy. “We can just say that he followed us home.”

“I have a better idea, we can use the rope to tie him up at the fort. That way we will have a guard. And he can protect our things.”

“Yeah. We can sneak him food. And leave the door open a bit so he can go inside if it rains.”

With their plans set, they heading back to the fort. And tied up their new dog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another foggy night and despite being a stray the dog did not seem to mind being tied up. He pawed at the floor mat before settling down into his makeshift bed for the night. In the darkness, the dog awoke to a scent. At first he panted and wagged his tail as the sounds of footsteps came closer. In the darkness, there was wincing yelp and then the night was silent again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Jenny quickly ate her breakfast and snuck some extra sausage links into her pocket. She didn't even wait for Billy to make it all the way over before running outside to meet him. Together they went straight to the fort with beaming smiles. Both were excited to be on their way to feed their dog. “What will call him?” Bill asked asked the ran.

“Roger.” said Jenny, “His name is Roger.”

Both children were crestfallen when they realized Roger was not there. “What happened? Where is he?” Jenny asked.

“I think he broke the rope, ” Billy said. “See, there is not much of it left.”

“Is that red stuff blood on the end?”

“Maybe he hurt his mouth by biting through the rope.”

“Well, if he ran away. I don't want to remember him. Get rid of the rope, Billy.”

The rest of the day they hardly spoke as they went about looking for new things for the fort. The best they found was milk crate. And Billy wondered if it would be better used as a chair or as a box to keep their things in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night Billy could not get to sleep. He lay awake wondering why Roger had left and how a small dog could bitten through the rope. He heard the doorknob turn and peering into the dimness of the bedroom he said “Jen-” and could only make a burbling sound until everything became dark and silent once again. There was a smell of what seemed to be a wood stove and faint orange hue to the fog that night that faded in a few hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Jenny finished her breakfast and sat and waited for Billy to come over as always. After an hour she said to her mother, “Maybe Billy is mad at me because Roger ran away.”

“Who is Roger?”

“A dog we found and brought back to the fort, but he chewed through the rope and ran away during the night. Well if Billy doesn't want to come over don't ever mention his name. I don't want to remember him anymore.”


--Edit for a typo--

[edit on 13-10-2009 by Ahabstar]




posted on Oct, 13 2009 @ 10:13 PM
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reply to post by Ahabstar
 


Man Ahabstar, you really have me wondering what it is that killing so efficiently. Awesome story man. I could remember doing the very same stuff when I was younger. Going to the creek, getting wood for a fort. I even remember rolling a huge empty wooden spool back to the fort if you could believe it. We would find those things alot as we had a power company in town. I had underground forts, tree forts. You name it. Great story Ahabstar!



posted on Oct, 13 2009 @ 10:23 PM
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reply to post by jackflap
 


I don't know. Do you think the title foreshadows too much? I thought of just Anymore for a title, but a friend of mine's band had a song titled Anymore and that just didn't feel right mentally.

Also I originally did not have Jenny use that line with the patch of rabbit fur. But went back and added it for a build. Again it may foreshadow too much using it there.

I did like how she became progressively better about not leaving evidence behind.



posted on Oct, 13 2009 @ 10:27 PM
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reply to post by Ahabstar
 


From your post I gather it was Jenny all along! I am sorry but I totally didn't get that. I do now that you said it though. The title is good, but man you just threw me for a loop! That is awesome. I am going to go back through it now with my new found knowledge.



posted on Oct, 13 2009 @ 10:37 PM
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reply to post by jackflap
 


I did keep her description a little flat for a reason. Had I made her as creepy as those twins in The Shining it would have been too much of a reveal too early.



posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 06:49 AM
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I didn't know, but I suspected Jenny. Very creepy. This was one of those stories that you wish would have continued on!



posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 08:45 AM
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reply to post by Cameoii
 


Maybe I portrayed their child-like innocence (since they are children) too much then? I had pondered a third killing before Billy and even Jenny killing her mother later that night after she told jenny about Billy being missing due to her mother reminding her. But thought ending it here was enough.

If anything, I do like for things to be subtle and discovered by the reader as a means of making the story more personal and therefore memberable to the reader. A sometimes odd writing device but can be used effectively, although some criticize missing details as abruptness in what could be a smoother transition.

One of my problems is that I write visually while writing. Seeing the action as though it were through a movie camera. Because I have the images firmly in my mind I often skip over the minute details partly out of laziness but also from a disconnect between writer and reader. The thought of "I see it, so you probably do too" causes some of the glaze over of what I would consider minutia.

[edit on 14-10-2009 by Ahabstar]



posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 09:42 AM
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Loved the story, however now I am wondering if maybe I should not sleep at night, My daughter is named Jenny...LMAO!!! Scared me, I'll have to be on the lookout to see if animals go missing...lol!!!! Excellent build up!


[edit on 14-10-2009 by ldyserenity]



posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 02:40 PM
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After letting my cousin read it, did anyone catch the part about the smell of a wood stove and the faint orange hue to the fog?



posted on Oct, 14 2009 @ 10:35 PM
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Scarey story Ahabstar. The way you portrayed Jenny as someone so devoid of emotion and who could "forget" so easily gave me a clue that she was the "monster".

[edit on 14-10-2009 by elaine]



posted on Oct, 15 2009 @ 02:45 PM
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Originally posted by Ahabstar
After letting my cousin read it, did anyone catch the part about the smell of a wood stove and the faint orange hue to the fog?



Yes, that is when I suspected the identity of the killer, although I wasn't sure until I read your post. You write beautifully. Very imaginative.



posted on Oct, 17 2009 @ 11:02 PM
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reply to post by Ahabstar
 


It kept me reading.

Nice work.

Mike



posted on Oct, 18 2009 @ 11:49 AM
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This story gave me the creeps. Very disturbing. I don't want to remember it any more. Please de-post this.

Actually, I really loved this story from top to bottom. It hit just the right note, highly consistent, well done, just right!



posted on Oct, 18 2009 @ 01:55 PM
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After talking with my cousin, nearly as bad of a critic as I am, he would have like it to have been more fleshed out. And more specific reason for Jenny to have killed Billy like maybe the dog liked Billy more or he paid more attention to the dog than Jenny.

Very good ideas if I wanted to revisit Jenny and try to understand her motivations for doing what she does. However in thinking of those lines, it starts to make Jenny into a female version of Michael Myers as a child when he put on the clown mask and killed his sister before being sent to the asylum.

As it stands, she seems to kill just for sake of killing, which is slightly more disturbing than knowing why she kills. There is of course the chilling thought that she kills and really does not remember. A question, since I never answered it, that is best left to the imagination of the reader in my opinion. And then dealing with realization of pondering just how many "Jenny's" are out there in the world among them. Killing things without remorse, with a dual nature to their childhood.




[edit on 18-10-2009 by Ahabstar]



posted on Oct, 18 2009 @ 03:42 PM
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Originally posted by Ahabstar
As it stands, she seems to kill just for sake of killing, which is slightly more disturbing than knowing why she kills. There is of course the chilling thought that she kills and really does not remember.


That was my take. She killed things -- reason unknown. Very disturbing.

As for not remembering: she remembers; she wants to forget because it is an unpleasant afterthought; she seals it off from her consciousness, until the next time, dismissing with some sort of perverted super-human willpower.

That's what I got from it.




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