Oh my where to start
I am a left brained person. Very ordered, things make sence to me in numbers. Last night I had an experience that really shook me up.
In my normal life im a chemist. Its very hard for me to think abstractly and quiet the "ego" (i think thats the right phrase).
A few days ago a friend of mine asked me to meditate with him. Not having a whole lot of experience with meditation outside just a quite room closed
eyes muling over usually work related things, he offered to guide me through the beginning.
We started by rubbing our forheads and top of our heads at the same time to awaken the "crown chakra". Then we did deep breathing while he guided
me through raising my awareness of my other chakras. I felt extremely relaxed. It was as if my entire body was vibrating with an incredible energy.
Not a bad vibration but like a great force was pouring through me into me and out of me.
He guided me to feel the waves of energy flowing down my body from my crown chackra through my throat and stomach into my groin area and down through
my feet. The feelings were incredible. I became able to feel it flow up and down and even left to right and vise versa. It was truley incredible i
really can't describe the serenity i felt which was unusual to feel while my entire body felt like it was a phone set on vibrate HARD. lol
He called what i was feeling the cosmic flush. After our session I looked around for info on this "cosmic flush" and found a few guided videos.
In the nights since i have been practicing recreating this feeling on my own. I don't seem to have as much success without a guide but can get their
through great focus over a longer period of time.
Now that I've explained where im at in my journey inward allow to me to tell you what happened last night. The friend that guided me on my first
real meditation lives across the state from me so its not viable for him to be my guide regularly. He gave me a few suggestions to try listening to
music with a certain sound to help manipulate my theta brain waves. (at least i believe thats what he said).
He also suggestied that I start by watching a few fractal dives while trying to focus on the image with a quiet mind to help and supress the urge to
engage the ego during meditation. So this is exactly what I did. I found a long fractal dive and some tantra music and began my session. The
fractal lasted just long enough to get my focus really centered on feeling the cosmic flush. When the dive ended my view tube went black on a timer
and the music continued to play.
The vibrations were steadily rising with the tempo and intensity of the chanting in the music. I began to feel quite strange as if the voices were
tugging at me trying to lift me from my chair. I felt almost like my mind no longer needed or wanted to be in my body. I let the feeling overwhelm
me while staying focused on the music and I began to feel as if i were floating. At this point the sensation was overwhelming and i couldn't resist
opening my eyes and bringing back into focus the room around me. My heart was pounding i had began to sweat and shake.
After i calmed down again i began to look for an explanation of the feelings which i couldn't really find. The closest thing i could find was
Astral Projection and Out of body experiences (which i thought was reserved for those on the brink of death). In retrospect i realize that the fear
was un-necessary so i decided to try again without resisting the overwhelming feeling. . . unfortunately I just couldn't get refocused because there
was so much anticipation of what i might be in for.
What I'm truely looking for here is a little guidance perhaps reassurance that im not crazy that what i felt was real. Mostly I'd like help
breaching the barrier and fully surrendering to whatever it was that wanted to leave the space of my body.
Being so left brained this is very hard for me to grasp. It seems so irrational and almost scarry to think i could release my consiousness from my
body. I have not spent alot of time in the meta-physics forum here so i dont know really what its all about on ATS.
If anyone around feels they are qualified to help me with a little guidance reading material, reassurance, please by all means let me know. This is
a new and exciting aspect in my life and I really feel the need to share with you what ive experienced so far.
Let me know what you think of my experience. Things i may be incorrect about or doing wrong also please let me know. Do you think I was on the
verge of projecting or having an OBE? I really want to get beyond where i was last night. I want to delve fully into whatever this is and experience
what ever it was that caused me to shy away at the last moment.
Hope my speil was understandable im not really up on the lingo of the meta-world so any corrections i need please point those out aswell. . .
eagerly awaiting a guide or friend or friends to share my experiences with
thanks for taking the time to read this if you do