posted on Feb, 20 2003 @ 12:00 PM
Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy.....To see all their other ships.
A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give
Why is good to be french? You can surender at the begining of the war, and the US will win it for you.
President Bush and the french ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Iraqi crisis. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we
don't stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. He further explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the madman
could result in a bloodbath. The french ambassador, although, did not understand. It seems there is no word for"bath" in french.
Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?
A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better.
Q: Why are the French so afraid of war?
A: You would be too if you never won one in your history.
Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
The second to turn tail and run.
The third to roll over.
The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sconces.
And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.
Q: Why do frenchmen always were yellow tyes ?
A: to match the teeth
Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ?
A: under the soap of a frenchman
Q: Why do French men have moustashes?
A: To remind them of their mothers.
Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the forward
gear comes in handy....
Hey, I don't know if you've heard this one or not, but... Why do we need France on our side against Sadamm and Osama? So the French can show them
how to surrender.
George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Parisian sauna. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound.
President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping stopped. The others looked curiously at him. "Oh, that was just my pager", said
George. "I have a microchip embedded under the skin of my forearm."
Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the ringing stopped.
The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. I have a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand.
"By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of low-tech. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the sauna, but
returned momentarily. When he returned, Bush and Blair both stared at him increduously.
It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Frenchman's posterior.
When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he feigned astonishment: "Marie sainte! I'm think I'm getting a fax."
What color is the American flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the British flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the French flag? White.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.
What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered during WWII? "Table for One Hundred Thousand?".
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops
out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I
want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for
farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a
blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this
wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with
Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his licence to practice medicin? He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It's a shame, he was
by far the best vet in town.
The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to handle. Upon
examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species
available. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Pierre,
it was rumoured, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Pierre showed some interest, but
said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three
conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this
union." The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what about the third condition. "Well," said Pierre, "you've
gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs."
A FRENCHMAN named Pierre was walking through the small town he lived in with a friend. He pointed to a row of houses and says, "You see those houses?
I built those houses! But do they call me Pierre the Housebuilder..No" They walked along a bit futher, and he points to a number of boats in the
harbour. "You see those boats ? I built those boats! But do they call me Pierre the Boat Builder? NO!" Then he turns to his friend and says "BUT
MAKE LOVE TO JUST ONE GOAT AND YOU ARE LABELED FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"