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Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by mblahnikluver
Well in that case, I think this is just a transition period, and you guys will work it out.
Here is a new tip: Try emailing him with your deepest feelings, and try keeping the phone conversations light and happy. Even if he is grouchy, just overcome it with kindness, and then email him, or write him letters with your deeper concerns. My ex-wife and I used to solve some pretty deep wounds that way. We could absolutely not communicate with one another in person sometimes, but when I set down privately and read her letters or emails, I was stricken with sadness and regret, and I would write back some pretty heartfelt stuff. I think we added several years to our marriage that way, and when we finally got divorced after 10 years, it was on good terms, and we still speak, and my new wife gets along with her very well!
This way, you can cherish the time on the phone or in person, and you can be a bright spot in his day, but you still get to communicate the stuff that bothers you, and he gets to address it when he has time to think and reflect a little.
Good Luck. These types of relationships are very hard.
Originally posted by gYvMessanger
To be honest it appears to me that he doesn't value your opinion enough to want you involved in the situation.
I would suggest if you want to continue the relationship that you define the boundaries of this area very carefully with him next time you are together.
It certainly is not your place to say anything to the mother of his child without talking to him, that asking for your relationship to end no matter how grown up you intend the conversation to be.
Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
Originally posted by tribewilder
Now I agree with jess but I do have one thing for you to consider.
If he has had an argument with his ex, he probably wants to just forget about it.
By calling you right away, you would know something was up, and would just make him relive it all while the anger in him is still fresh.
I am in no way saying that this is what is happening, but it is something to think about.
[edit on 10/7/2009 by tribewilder]