Confessions of a Racist

Originally posted by serendipitynow
We all bleed red and everyone is/was/will be the minority at some point.
To me, people always have been and always will be just that; "people".

Go a little bit deeper for us, if you have the time and inclination, serendipity.

What do you think MADE you that way? Does it require effort on your part? Did you have to change anything? What's the secret? Were you just always that way?

Originally posted by FritosBBQTwist
I went to the gym and was playing some basketball with this little black kid and his dad.

He was 4 yeras younger than me, and still whooped me in some 21. Then, we had a 1v1 and I won by a shot.

My point? It was one damn good game, and it hurts me to even think that back in the day people would have refused such contact with someone from another race.

I make my jokes. I make my stereotypes. I make my remarks. But in the end, that is all there is to them.

There are some arguable morals out there...but when it comes to judging an actual person based upon color, it is sick.

I agree entirely....and that is essentially where my problem comes in. I make a judgement, no matter how fast and short lived that I have to consciously overcome. Do you experience that too? If not, why do you think you have been able to avoid that? Were you always that way?

I appreciate you stopping by, Frito.

Originally posted by Lemon.Fresh
reply to post by KSPigpen

 

I am not hurt by words. Actions do hurt, but time heals most things.

I grew up in Texas. I am white, and I know what it is like being the minority. I have been called bolio, gringo, cracker . . . in fact, the whole gamut of white racial slurs (see if this one gets edited

). It does not bother me. My friends can call each other racial slurs all day, and it does not phase us. It gets quite hilarious when we are drunk.

I have felt the effects of racism, and words are just that to me. Words.

IMHO, you do not "learn to decide" to not let words hurt you. Even if the words are meant in a hateful way . . . you just decide that they are merely words.

At the risk of sounding hippy (no offense whaaaa), why can't we all just see each other as humans.

Yes, we have different characteristics, and these can be described by using different words, but we all bleed red . . .

[edit on 10/5/2009 by Lemon.Fresh]

That's another thing that I've experienced. Slurs exchanged between friends. It's a strange thing.

But the problem I have, Lemon, is that my folks always taught me the sticks and stones thing, but it never really meant anything to me. Perhaps I was just always wearing my heart on my sleeve as you mentioned. There was just so much hypocrisy.

We would hear how words weren't supposed to hurt us, but they did. I can hurt my family with my words. I can hurt my coworkers, I can hurt strangers. Whether you want to accept it or not, I know you know that words CAN hurt. They might not hurt you and that's great, but they CAN hurt. What I'm getting at is that if you have the ability to detach yourself from someone's words, I think that is a very rare gift and you are a pretty special person.

...and I know that just finding the 'humanity' to focus on is the answer, somehow, but getting there is the issue. When I KNOW that we are all humans, that we all bleed red ans that we all love and hope and cry on occasion...but when my first thought is always wrong, I want desperately to learn how to NOT have that first wrong thought.

reply to post by KSPigpen


It gets stuck in the mind, I know what you mean. Just remember, we are all Human. Language, appearance, color, size, these things mean nothing. It's all about who you are inside. You've already achieved this from what I've read in your op. Just need to get the mindset straight.

reply to post by KSPigpen


Don't get me wrong, when these guys came in the court and asked to play basketball, I barely understood them! And then I was thinking, oh crap, they are black, I am going to get whooped on.

Everyone thinks stuff like that though. We all stereotype, and I don't believe someone who says they do not. Even if it is a stereotype of stereotypers...

Stereotypes are generalizations. There are instances where these are bad, and that is when people will base their actions off them. Yes I stereotyped, but I didn't back off because I thought they might have been to good, or run away because I might have thought they didn't want to play with a white kid.

People, all it takes is one connection with a person of the opposite race for you to see that we are all in it together. For some reason, I feel as if when talking with a black guy that we can open up and joke on a level much higher than if it were someone else...almost as if we are all relieved that it is about time we can joke around with each other.

One more thing to add...be a part of the solution and not the problem. I always tell people to live for them self, but never tell them that the other secret in that is to do so by helping others.

[edit on 5-10-2009 by FritosBBQTwist]

reply to post by FritosBBQTwist


I really, really appreciate your honest input Frito. I don't want to be a liar and say I don't every stereotype, or that I have never acted on those prejudices.

Your additions your experience give all a much deeper understanding of who you are and how that experience can apply to us.

What I heard you saying (If I could hear the words) was that we all have these thoughts and it takes a conscious effort on your part to not only come fears you have about your inadequacies, but maybe even fears you might have about someone else.

I don't want to stray too far away from the topic, but how else, other than a b-ball game have you affected this change in yourself that we might learn from?

Originally posted by KSPigpen

Tell me, how does one so affected move beyond the external? How does a person not judge by appearance? How does a person elevate others, or lower his opinion of himself, so that all of mankind is equal? Where is it that I should be looking? How is it that I eliminate this specter completely from my subconscious? How is it that I can be free?

In two words... you don't. It's just the human condition. Everybody carries bias against those that do not look like ourselves, think like ourselves, dress like ourselves, and are not in our social or economic circle. Anybody that says they do not have any bias towards others are liars, or comedians. We can choose to ignore bias, and that's the best we can do.

Call it what you wish, racism, cultural ism, elitism, etc... It's all driven by the most basic human reaction to people that are not like us.

Originally posted by 3Rotary
reply to post by KSPigpen

 

It gets stuck in the mind, I know what you mean. Just remember, we are all Human. Language, appearance, color, size, these things mean nothing. It's all about who you are inside. You've already achieved this from what I've read in your op. Just need to get the mindset straight.

Are you saying that you have 'the mindset straight?' How was this accomplished for you? What did you have to do? Do you still find yourself judging or stereotyping internally? Do you think that sometimes stereotyping is a positive thing? Some folks seem to think that we MUST judge people by appearance....do you share that belief?

Thanks for dropping in.

Originally posted by SpacePunk

Originally posted by KSPigpen

Tell me, how does one so affected move beyond the external? How does a person not judge by appearance? How does a person elevate others, or lower his opinion of himself, so that all of mankind is equal? Where is it that I should be looking? How is it that I eliminate this specter completely from my subconscious? How is it that I can be free?

In two words... you don't. It's just the human condition. Everybody carries bias against those that do not look like ourselves, think like ourselves, dress like ourselves, and are not in our social or economic circle. Anybody that says they do not have any bias towards others are liars, or comedians. We can choose to ignore bias, and that's the best we can do.

Call it what you wish, racism, cultural ism, elitism, etc... It's all driven by the most basic human reaction to people that are not like us.

Do you think. my friend, that not only with me, but with others, that this is a permanent condition?

reply to post by mikerussellus


Thanks for stopping by, my old friend. I didn't recognize you with the avatar. I miss the outhouses.

I'm trying real hard to be honest, because I have very little danger involved in that here, today, on this thread....it's easier to be honest when the folks that get mad aren't going to whoop ya.

I AM getting a lot lighter, but am sooo looking forward to being free from some stuff that I've carried for a long time.

I appreciate ya, My brotha.

Hi KS,

I cannot say I am a racist, or a non racist. I am of Italian/Greek decent with a tad bit of English mixed in. I take interest in the cultural as well as the defining physical characteristics of my "blood".

To myself, the idea of White, Black, Asian, Latino, etc.(are there others?) is silly in the overall scheme. Each one has very definite subcategories. An example of someone choosing a subcategory would be Oprah if I'm not mistaken.... She made a public statement being I believe Zulu.

I don't have a problem with anyone having pride in their race, or perceived race...... It is their own prerogative.

Now, there is a defining line where it crosses racial pride into the not gray area of racial hate. Racial hate imho is built off of FEAR; as fear is the driving force leading to anger which leads to hate.

There is a very concerted effort in the USA, and a few other places to destroy racial pride. I think this usurping of heritage actually causes racial hate. People become afraid of their identities not being passed on; of course to their (enter race here) superior lineage....... With the suppression of racial pride, then comes racial hate.

I've been many places in this World, and those that promote racial pride seem to have a more relaxed, and enjoyable ability to cohabit. I think the reason is easy to comprehend. With understandings of the "ins, and outs"; which define a Person, as well as their being there are less mysteries.

What can mysteries cause? Fear, and with fear comes anger followed by hate.

For myself??? Well, I would probably be strung up by any of the loony racial hate groups; whether they be black, asian, white, etc. I "look" Mediterranean............. So, I don't know where that leaves me

Beyond that racial hate, or anykind of hate is silly as it all forms from Fear. I have long told People who are reaching their "golden years", who have very opinionated World, and social views that a helping hand is blind to hate.
S&F

[edit on 5-10-2009 by sanchoearlyjones]

[edit on 5-10-2009 by sanchoearlyjones]

If you want to hear a racist's confession, just go to a Tea Party.

Originally posted by KSPigpen
I just don't know how to address the irrational feelings I have that hinge on someone's physical appearance. I don't know if what I experience is normal and that others who SEEM unaffected have just learned to deny it within themselves, or if there are people in the world that are truly unaffected by racial and cultural differences and I am some sort of throwback, or dead end on the road of spiritual enlightenment.

How is it that I can be free?

Your input is eagerly anticipated. Thanks for taking the time to read.

Do you know what this thread is about? It is not about racism. Or Racialism. It is about your real question. But you dont know what your real question is. Thats the problem. Most people dont know their real question. So they look for a distraction. And there are endless distractions in this world.

I was a fringe member of a cult whose leader was perhaps the greatest spiritual teacher of all time. His chauffeur (very educated fellow who had been an assistant principal in a school) was a white guy who I was told by another insider was a racist. This didnt stop him from being the chauffeur to an Enlightened being who literally appeared to be God. And by the way he was married to a black woman.

Racism is not a spiritual problem.

reply to post by happygolucky


Not that you'll like my input, but you can only overcome such ingrained responses by examining your motives honestly. You made a start, examining your personal history. But there has to be more of a reason you have that response, no?

To me, the issue lies more with your guilt, than anything. You respond how you do, it seems, out of guilt for your family and past associations. That might seem counter-intuitive, but guilt is one of the most psychologically powerful aspects of the human psyche. You see a colored person, whatever color they may be. Your subconscious leaps to all the slurs and bias you have heard...because you feel guilty for it. But to your conscious mind, you just register the moment of uncertainty. You owe no guilt for the actions of others; they are responsible for their choices. You owe no guilt for past thoughts, even, if you have learned from them and grown from them. Forget your guilt, forget race, and you will no longer be "racist." But remember, to do so, you have to be honest about the good...and the bad. Judging from our past discussion on race, I'd say that this is where you fail.

The very title of your thread speaks to your guilt complex. A guilt complex you share with many. It is why slavery is still an issue, all these years later, even though slavery had nothing to do with race, ultimately. Current society barrages "whitey" with constant messages of guilt for actions that were spread across every race of the earth, and not participated in by anyone who is being targeted by this guilt. Its disgusting. In regards to hispanics, the new movement is to make honest citizen feel guilty for despising the willful criminals among the hispanic community, who come here and leech off of the system. Just as we owe no guilt for things we have not done, we owe no guilt for honesty. A just and honorable man will always struggle until he can accept what is guilt, what is false perception, and what is the cold, hard truth.

First, a star and flag for the obvious heartfelt nature of your post, KSpigpen. I commend your openess and self evaluation.


As a black male with conservative political values, I find this thread revealing and promising in ways, discouraging in others, generally speaking.

I was raised just outside of Montgomery, Alabama and followed my parents around the entire southeast for my first 12 years or so of life. I attended more freedom marches and civil rights demonstrations than most. For the last 30 or so years, Ive worked with troubled kids of all racial compositions from inner city ghettos in Birmingham to the backwoods of Kentucky.

None of the above makes me any more or less qualified in these matters than anyone else of course, just a bit of background that gives me a somewhat unique perspective .

And in this thread I see good people, trying to grow on personal levels, trying to find a bit of sanity in this mish-mash we call society.

Those are the positive things. Other opinions and views are a bit more discouraging.

To no one in particular, just my contribution to this topic.

I see a lot of white apologists and obvious white guilt in this thread. Those ARE valid and actual conditions, I see and deal with both in mainly urban white youth everyday. Actual (racial)self-hatred is documented in a segment of white youth today ironically similar to the same counterproductive and harmful views black youth of my generation(and moreso my parents) experienced.

It is firmly my view that nothing is more counterproductive and ultimately destructive to a society as a whole than the majority racial demographic suffering from a collective guilt syndrome, and by extension projecting a sort of cultural superiority to a minority racial demographic. I would go so far,in my personal view, as to say that is almost the exact opposite of Dr. King's goal regarding future racial relations.

I just urge us all to remember: to TRULY deny racism means to deny self race hatred or guilt as well. All human beings of all races have judged, condemned, oppressed and harmed human beings of other races since human history began.

To be absolutely equal under the laws of the land and in opportunity, to truly be one people, we must remember this : Once it was parents(as KSpigpen states) instilling negative views of other races in the youth. Today you have pop culture doing the same exact thing. The mechanism and wrongness is the same, only the 'colors' have reversed.

Be very careful we dont, as a society ,( even if with the best of intentions,) create more, rather than less, racial polarization by turning 'non-racist' into a code word for 'pro some other race than ones own'.

Too often, that happens.

Respect to all.


Edit for clarity.



[edit on 5-10-2009 by Clark Savage Jr.]

Originally posted by inbound
reply to post by DrumsRfun

 

The first thing I thought of when I read your post, not that I agree or disagree, is what about nature? Intermingling in the animal world is very rare. I'm not talking about one watering hole with ten different species of animals there getting a drink, I mean daily life. I have no position on the subject, I could care less who hangs out with who and for what reasons. Just a thought.

Utter nonsense! I think you are very confused about biology.

I hope you do realise that in nature different races like great-danes, labradors, cocker spaniels, dachshunds, etc. "mingle". They are the same species: canis familiaris. And guess what: Caucasians, Asians and Africans are all of the same species: homo sapiens.

Deny ignorance

The tendancy of Humans to "stick with their own kind" is a natural instinct.. be it race, cultural, national, political, religious etc etc... its evident early on in children, how cliches and factions form in schools, mostly over ideology and likeminded beliefs.

The objective is to overcome those natural tendencies, though we all in some way fail to do so. No one is perfect.. in some cases we are openly taught this behavior is acceptable in our modern society, which only makes it harder to overcome.

Originally posted by ColdSteel
I have figured out that I am not a rascist but simply a bigot. I am okay with that. I can not stand other races cultures. I want all countries divided by race and you know darn well which countries will excel and which ones will not. I can not stand adultry and by that I mean adulterating the races. I am proud to be an Anglo Saxxon (angel blessed son of Isaac). I do not believe that the white race is superior to any other race but I am proud of our culture and our achievements throughout history. I am sick and tired of everyone thinking that we have to conform to everyone elses culture. If you don't like the culture of the white man then go back to whichever country you came from. This country has led the world in achievements and the whole world has been blessed because of it. The rest of the coutries have prospered with us, because of us. No I am not sorry to be white.

It takes all my civility to answer you in a nice way, but it seems to me that you are blissfully unaware on whose shoulders you stand my friend. For example: it wasn't the Anglo Saxxon tribe that invented math. The Mayans, Indians, Greeks and Chinese beat you to it.

The world will turn brown my friend. Like it or not, your ignorance and hatred won't stop that.

First, I'm just gonna clear the air. I don't believe you're "a racist." Or an "old man." You might've been in Texas, but I don't believe you're a Texan, either.

If you have seen me here before, you know that I have strong opinions and the courage of my convictions. I will call a spade, “a spade.”

I’m going to offer a few observations. There's a lot of useless handholding and carping in this thread, beginning with the OP.

If all you’re looking for is absolution, then go and sin no more. If you’re trying to sound genuine, try harder.

Racism is not an attitude. Racism is not a sickness or crime or mental defect.

Racism is a belief. It is a belief that everyone different from you is not as good as you. That’s not the same as a belief that you are better than everyone else. You might be. Some of us are. Really. But that’s not “racist.”

Just so we start off on even ground, there are only three generally accepted RACES: Mongoloid, Negroid and Caucasoid. Some anthropologists assign a fourth racial classification to the natives of Australia and New Zealand: Australoid.

So, let’s drop the blather that goes: “I(or You) hate Jews, or Mexicans, or Puerto Ricans, so I’m (or You’re) a racist.” Et c., et c., et c. That is NOT "racism." It is ignorance.

I AM a product of South San Antonio (and the 50’s). Neither of my parents spoke English in their homes until they started school. Some of my ancestors are East European, some are Spanish, French, Native American, and yes, Mexican.

I have never had “Black friends”, or “Mexican friends” or “Filipino friends,” but my best friends in school were Mexican American, Anglo-American and African American. We were friends first, ethnicity, religion and race didn't make ANY difference. My first love was a Filipino-American girl, my first wife spoke Spanish at home, as did her parents until they passed away a while back.

There are people I do not like, but it has nothing to do with culture, ethnicity or race.

I cannot abide willful ignorance. I will not abide an idiot.

My point? I don’t know, really, but reading all this stilted dancing around cultural and religious and ethnic differences is so pointless it is frustrating.

Everyone identifies with a certain culture, or cultures, or blend of several. Having a “cultural identity” is NOT racist or racism. It makes you the individual you are. And the groups you hate, too.

And every city I’ve ever worked or lived in has had its own “neighborhoods” and “bad” sides of town. Every city in America has a black, white, brown or yellow “side.” So don’t spout that stuff about segregation. ALL cultures naturally aggregate/congregate. Where I came from, “Krauts and Pollacks” lived near Czechs who lived near Blacks, we were surrounded by “Mexicans,” and we all went to the same schools and played in the same league sports.

Even LaCoste, Texas, population 57, has “sides,” and a “wrong side of the tracks.” Literally.

Man, this isn’t as pitiful as you all make it sound.

OK. Bottom line:

If your belief system is flawed, what do you do? Confess? Give me a break! Ask forgiveness? Bull….! All this wasted bandwidth and what’ve you accomplished so far except a group-hug? What a pathetic waste of typing skill.

What do you do on ATS if you meet someone who’s just “got it wrong?” You EDUCATE.
If your belief system is flawed and you know it, educate yourself. Otherwise, Get over it.

You believe Mexican men beat their wives, the women take it and they all drink too much? Go to a “Fiesta, or enroll in a Spanish class.” Can’t stand the way Afro-Americans walk or talk, go to a similar cultural event, idiot.

Same for every other cultural, et c. difference every one of you have claimed to accept or despise.

Broaden your horizons and your beliefs, for Zeus’ sake!

These maudlin “Sand F”s and “mea culpas accomplish nothing but make you feel good about your own flawed outlooks.

Can’t you guys even TRY to come up with something useful after 6 pages?

(Or, maybe it was Utah.)
jw


[edit on 6-10-2009 by jdub297]

Originally posted by winterass
I can't wait till my land ...

Who told you it's "my" land? I'm really curious.