posted on May, 17 2004 @ 12:15 AM
I had this lump in the small of my back, under the skin. It was larger than a pimple. It never went away and was sore. It hit right where chairs
with high backs (classroom type) would touch your back.
I went to the doc at the campus infirmary (one step above prison docs). He says it 'must be some kind of sebaceous cyst.' (Yummy. Probably cancer,
and he doesn't want to tell me or something.) The dude "refers" me to a high-priced cosmetologist 'colleague' of his. Bet they both owned the
clinic I was referred to.
So I go to the clinic, which is obviously focused on nose jobs and treating acne on Cheerleaders, and not on bizarro skin mutations.
I lie face down on the exam table, like the nurse says. The dock comes in with gloves on, looks at my back with the LARGEST MAGNIFYING LENS you've
ever seen, as if he were about to roast me like an ant on the sidewalk under his million-candle-power searchlight which hangs from the ceiling. But
he doesn't ever physically touch the spot, not even with a tongue depressor or something. I'm getting nervous, since he seems slightly afraid of
this alien formation in the small of my back. I'm thinking its contagious . . . he won't touch it because it's syphilius . . . it's the plague . .
. dude, I've got that flesh eating virus, and he doesn't know how to break the news . . . something is wrong, and he can't say it.
"What do you think it is?" I say
"What do YOU think it is?" says the doc, right back at me.
I am too totally annoyed, missing an important meeting with my supervising prof., and not having met my deductable, for this wisacre to pose zen Koans
about my dorsal area. I snicker and say:
"What do I think it is? Personally, I think it's where "THEY" put the 'chip' in!!!!"
The doctor totally, really FREAKS OUT, and runs from the office. His nurse is looking at me like she's just realized I have a third eye. The front
desk hands me a perscription for some penicillin which is written in such a shaky hand that my pharmacist couldn't even decipher it, and had to call
the doc to understand!!!!
Dude, it was just a stupid #@)$(*)@!#$*) Joke.
And people say I'm Paranoid!
Did you ever have an experience like that, where people were afraid of YOU?