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Email to Every Woman on ATS: Through a Rapists Eyes - BEWARE - *The Crying Baby*

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posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 01:58 AM
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Note to the rape survivors who've posted here in the thread.

Your most poignant and courageous posts, many of them I’ve not responded to.

I’m sorry. I'm just not prepared emotionally or psychologically to give you any of my poor words.

I'm speaking of to those who’ve shared your experiences, the hell you’ve been through, and survived and overcome.

Me? I can’t get beyond the pain, beyond the fear, or, beyond the hate.

To reply to your posts, for the sake of posting, the sake of responding, when I’ve nothing to say but to add my tears to yours, would be hypocritical, and I feel would somehow take from the courage you’ve shown us by sharing, where I, cannot.

Thank you, to all of you, all who’ve gone beyond the fear and the hate and the pain, to put your experiences out here for others to learn by.

I hope one day I can be so courageous, I regret, at this moment, I am not.

 

OK! Here's another tip.

Carry your keys, at all times, like a weapon - the longest key stuck between your fingers to protrude forward. Held this way they are at the ready to use as to slash, stab, etc.

Also...

Time yourself on how long it takes you to open your door with your ‘strong’ hand.

Now, time how long it takes to open the door to your home with your off hand, your weaker hand.

See the point?

Every day, when you open any lock needing a key, to your car, your home, use your *off* hand until you’re proficient opening all the doors with your weaker hand.

Practicing this each time you open a door takes very little time and done on a daily basis will become such a second nature act it may in fact save your life.

peace

[edit on 3-10-2009 by silo13]




posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 02:43 AM
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Just wanted to add something.

I see it everyday, people walking around with their hands in their pockets. Now this isn't a big issue if you're in a public place but i see ladies walking down alleyways or into woodland like this! I'm almost tempted to stop them and point out the danger of doing it but i'd probably completely freak them out lol. The problem with having your hands in your pockets is if some scumbag jumps you from behind he can pin your arms in your pockets and you're basically done for. One arm around you and your arms are pinned, his other hand can cover your mouth and well you see the danger here. I used to do this in classes to show people how vulnerable they are.

Staying alert and not doing stupid stuff like this will make you a less attractive target.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 03:30 AM
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Originally posted by ImaginaryReality1984
I see it everyday, people walking around with their hands in their pockets. Now this isn't a big issue if


Well that depends..

What's in your pocket?

Honestly I carry a knife in my pocket when I take walks and my hands are often in them



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 03:44 AM
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reply to post by silo13
 


Good for you Silo!
Some very good tips for women indeed......I'll get my wife to read this one ( although she has no affinity for ATS).
Close to home for us- as she had a potential experience through the week:
Whilst walking along a suburban road ( bordering industrial) during her the course of her work duties; a man of middle-eastern appearence approached in his car.
He proceeded to call out to her, requesting that she come to the window of his car; as he 'needed' to talk to her.
After turning in the opposite direction and walking briskly away, he followed her. This went-on for a terrifying period of about 5 minutes...until he was detered at the risk of being seen by other pedestrians.
This was in broad daylight, around lunchtime- which adds to your point of Rape possible at anytime.
My wife was dressed business-like at the time; and had never seen this individual before.
She spent a good few hours at the Police Station afterwards.
Thanks for the thread.

[edit on 10/3/2009 by KRISKALI777]

[edit on 10/3/2009 by KRISKALI777]



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 04:19 AM
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reply to post by KRISKALI777
 

You know, it’s a miracle you’re wife is with you and alive and well and not laying a hospital, or worse.

And, as much as I applaud her for her astuteness, there is a part of me that wonders...What if the poor man just wanted directions, or, help?

But that’s the kind of thinking that could get me killed.

This world forces us to go against our kind hearts and put away our trust in others.

Gawd, how sad is that.

Peace and my best to you and your Mrs.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 07:07 AM
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reply to post by silo13
 

In my case of walking alone with my baby in my arms made me vulnerable. These two men had probably seen me before and noticed that I was alone each time. The fact that I was carrying my baby each time increased the risk factor. I could not fight back with my baby in my arms and I am sure that these men knew this. Also they picked the best secluded spot with a lot of trees and shrubs.
Screaming was my only defense and my baby had started to cry.
Never assume an area is safe, no matter how many times you have walked it and nothing happened. Someone could be watching you!!! Always have a plan of action ready if you have to walk alone in an area that could put your life in danger and there are many very good suggestions posted here.
In my case.. my screaming and my baby crying brought my rescuer on the scene. But this person also took my attackers by surprise!! They were not expecting a big lady with an umbrella to come out of the bushes and start beating up on them!! Hallelujah!!!
It is always best to have a friend or relative to walk with you and always be prepared.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 07:45 AM
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reply to post by Sparkly_Eyed777
 


Hi sparkly,

In response to your post about whether it is better to know a few gross motor movements as apposed to a martial art. A martial art is just as the name implies, an art form, it is or should be more than just self defense. It is self control, and a mind set. If you are going to devote serious time to it, and make it an everyday part of your life you would be many times more well defended by learning a martial art. If you just want to know how to defend yourself in a bad situation which may or may not ever come, then just learning a few basic easy to remember moves would suffice. I wouldn't rely on that alone however. If I only new a few simple basics I would want a firearm, or pepper spray etc... as a primary defense, and use the self defense training as a last option. As a practitioner of martial arts the opposite would be true in some situations if the attacker was not armed with a firearm, or knife. I would stop them physically before I would use a weapon in most situations. The problem with depending on 5 or 6 basic gross movements is that if you were ever confronted by someone that either knew martial arts, was an experienced bar room brawler, or was just plain big, and mean is that you would find yourself overwhelmed quickly. You would be relying mostly on the element of surprise, and if you missed or weren't effective in stopping them with the first few opening moves, what comes next? move 1,2,3,4,5 *oh crap*. In most martial arts you are taught to mitigate damage to yourself. So even if you are "loosing" the fight so to speak you stand a better chance of survival.

I have female friends who have shown me their 1 or 2 day defense training course moves, and they were surprised at how easily they were thwarted by someone who already knew the moves, and they are very easy to counter if you have any martial arts training at all. Not saying it isn't a good idea to learn them if it is all you have time for or interest in, but a lifestyle, and mentality of self defense is exponentially superior. And yes I have had to use my training to defend myself, and it came quite naturally to defend myself without hesitation. Part of learning martial arts is muscle memory, like typing, or driving a car etc... If you have practised enough you don't think about it you just react, and you automatically do what you practised, and it is extremely effective.

I encourage every woman I know to take martial arts not just for defense, but confidence, fitness, mental acuity, and it's just plain fun. A few days, learning a few simple moves just doesn't convey that sense of self empowerment, and respect for self, and others that a good martial arts school does.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 08:59 AM
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Originally posted by silver tongue devil
Well that depends..

What's in your pocket?

Honestly I carry a knife in my pocket when I take walks and my hands are often in them


A knife will do you absolutely no good if you have your hands in your pockets and your assailant grabs you from behind, clamping your hands. In doing so your attacker will more than likely feel the knife and then has a good chance of using it against you.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 10:58 AM
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reply to post by moonwize
 

That reminds me of another thing, people usually do the same things everyday, and for someone looking for a pattern it's extremely easy to find them.

For some reason I notice those patterns easily, and it's amazing how, for example, someone passes the same street corner at the same time every Thursday.

So, if you have to pass everyday in a place that is, by some reason, less safe, try to avoid a pattern, so if someone is after you and knows that you pass on that dark street every nigh at the same time, breaking the pattern will make you look less like a prey.

I know that humans are not natural predators, but it's the same as the lion waiting for the other animals to go to the water hole, they know where and when they can catch them.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 04:42 PM
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The eyes of a rapist?

The eyes of the rapist..
is the animal side of a human being. The primitive side.

Wear the fanciest clothes and drive the nicest cars and sleep in the coziest bed. And you're still an animal. Only cloaked.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 08:07 PM
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Hello, Silo13, & thank you & all of the marvelous posters here with all of the wonderful tips for rape prevention & escape.

I have a few things to add- forgive me please if someone's already posted it. One resource everybody needs to avail themselves of is your local sheriff's department website. In most if not all of them you will find a page that lists all of the known sex offenders living in your neighborhood, as well as the offenses they were found guilty of. Don't just check your own neighborhood- check every neighborhood that you frequent- your grocery store, your doctor, your child's school- EVERYWHERE.

I live just down the street from my college, the University of Cincinnati, & just a mile away is one of the largest public schools in the city- Hughe's High School. Unfortunately, big schools with loads of young people can be dirt magnets for rapists.

There was a serial rapist here who was never caught who savagely raped 3 male students not long ago. One was raped in the college parking garage, another while walking home from school in his own neighborhood, Clifton Heights, & another practically on my front doorsteps in University Heights. It was awful. Please, everyone, teach your sons, not just your daughters!

One of the things that I studied in college was the psychology of human sexuality. Rape is not really about sex- it's the thrill of overpowering someone & violently doing whatever one wishes to a person. All kinds of people can & have been raped; they can be any age or sex. Men don't only get raped in prison.

Speaking of prisoners, convicted rapists school one another in every way they can think of on how not to get caught the next time. Sex offenders come in both sexes; 3 of the ones in my neighborhood are women! One of the male offenders lives right across the street from my apartment. There ought to be a law. No sex offender should be living within easy walking distance from any school.

Although the information I have says that upwards of 85% of people who get raped are attacked by people they know or have met before, one bottom line is: never accept a ride from any stranger, no matter what. Never allow someone to force you into their motor vehicle. Do whatever possible to keep out of the car- turn into a screaming wildcat & fight the attacker off. It saves lives. Once in the car, a person is more completely in the attacker's power. Most of the victims who are forcibly abducted end up dead.

About 90% of the college girls who are raped were stoned or drunk when it happened. Never party or get high with people you don't know well or have just met. A prime time for this to happen is the beginning of the quarter or semester- especially if the student is from out of town or the state & as yet has no knowledge of the neighborhood.

University of Cincinnati has an ingenious service called Nightwalk. You can call the number & ask the service to have someone walk you home or whatever. Within a short time, two volunteer students will come to see you & walk you up to a certain distance wherever you need to go- within eight blocks of school. If you live in a college area, lobby for such a service if the college doesn't have one! Never if you can possibly avoid it- male or female- walk alone at night.

Thanks for listening.



posted on Oct, 3 2009 @ 09:15 PM
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reply to post by Deianera
 


Excellent info! I would give more than 1 star if I could. In Texas a convicted sex offender cannot live within 300 yards of a school, or college.(sarcasm) Whew! I'm sure glad sex offenders can't walk further than 300 yards. (sarcasm off) While it is a good start it is a law with basically no teeth in it. One could be parked in his car on the school parking lot, and who would know? and how would you enforce it? Personal vigilance can never be replaced by a law. Absolutely know where the registered sex offenders in your area are.



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 01:41 AM
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reply to post by Binder
 

Thanks, Binder! I always try to read threads through to see if I have anything to say that hasn't been said already. I feel it's important to let men know what I did so that they can protect themselves & their children, as well as the ladies.

There isn't enough awareness about male rape; it doesn't just just happen in prison. Many men feel it is the last thing that would ever happen to them. There are not enough prevention classes or counseling centers out there. Many more men than women refuse to report it, statistically.

Check out the "Whoopie rape-rape" thread if you like from page 10 on to see more of my views about the subject. I'm through posting on it for now because of the way that trolls have derailed the thread. I refuse to sink to their level or try to debate them; it's a waste of time. They tend to be people with weird agendas who love amusing themselves by attacking people.

One thing that I'd like to mention to everyone that might sound strange to many is about the full moon. According to a former boyfriend who is a policeman, the week around the full moon (of which there is one tonight) has more muggings, robberies, rapes & murders than at any other time of the month. He doesn't know what gets into people; just that it happens for some strange reason. He doesn't believe in astrology or anything like that; & I think many if not most in law enforcement will back him up.

Another poster has mentioned the stalking factor; there are a few things I'd like to add to it. In the San Francisco Bay area, two notorious serial rapists, the "Stinky" rapist & the "Black Bra" rapist, were successful because they were expert stalkers. The former raped over thirty women; the second over a dozen. The former took several years to catch; the second was never caught. In each case, the rapists cased out their victims for up to a month before they attacked. They tended to pick women who lived alone. The rapists knew everything about each woman's routine beforehand- what they did, when they did it, who they saw or had visiting. "Stinky" was a homeless drifter who never bathed; he stank of old urine, which smells like gasoline. "Black Bra" would force his victims to put on a black bra after he raped them, & he killed most of them. The surviving victims had noticed that he had been hanging around their neighborhood for a while before he struck.

Rapists are seriously mentally ill people. They are unpredictable and usually violent. Incarcerated rapists & child molesters are the lowest & most hated in the prison pecking order. It's not a joke that they are the first to get raped- it makes them worse. Prisons should be run differently so that prisoners are not allowed to prey upon one another. It's a major reason for the high recidivism rate.

Thanks again, Silo13, for starting this very important thread & getting us all talking. Rape is a sensitive subject & I'm glad that the vast majority of the posters here are treating the subject as seriously as it deserves & not trolling.



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 01:53 AM
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thanks for these tips.
i will be passing them on to my daughter when she is old enuff.



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 01:56 AM
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reply to post by Deianera
 


Thanks for your post. Some real truths in there I hope people take the time to read.

One thing I want to put some emphasis on.
That the emphasis should not be on women, but, on all people.
I know the thread centers on women, but, you’re right it should not, and a few other posters have pointed out - victims of rape are not just women, and the rate of male rape is rising - or as some suggest, the reporting of male rape is on the rise.

Now you bring up a great point about contacting the local sheriffs/law authorities to divulge just where the sex offenders are in your area - and around you. Also, around your schools, medical buildings, churches, etc.

How right you are!

I read a case just a few days ago in the news - a convicted repeat sexual offender’s home? Right in front of a bus stop for middle school children! (OH MY GOD)...

So check out your towns people. Your cities and where you’re most apt to congregate.


Speaking of prisoners, convicted rapists school one another in every way they can think of on how not to get caught the next time. Sex offenders come in both sexes; 3 of the ones in my neighborhood are women! One of the male offenders lives right across the street from my apartment. There ought to be a law. No sex offender should be living within easy walking distance from any school.


I agree. First, keep your eyes open for ANYONE suspicious. Also, women are known to work in cahoots with men to lure children and other women - so think outside the box people!

And yes, there should be some way to force sexual offenders to live in restricted areas. Maybe it will happen someday.


Although the information I have says that upwards of 85% of people who get raped are attacked by people they know or have met before, one bottom line is: never accept a ride from any stranger, no matter what. Never allow someone to force you into their motor vehicle. Do whatever possible to keep out of the car- turn into a screaming wildcat & fight the attacker off. It saves lives. Once in the car, a person is more completely in the attacker's power. Most of the victims who are forcibly abducted end up dead.


I don’t think this point can be stressed enough!


University of Cincinnati has an ingenious service called Nightwalk. You can call the number & ask the service to have someone walk you home or whatever. Within a short time, two volunteer students will come to see you & walk you up to a certain distance wherever you need to go- within eight blocks of school. If you live in a college area, lobby for such a service if the college doesn't have one! Never if you can possibly avoid it- male or female- walk alone at night.


I’d like to see ATS’ers take up the initiate and start groups like this in their areas.

We pride ourselves on denying ignorance.

Lets take the next step and get out and do something about it.

Thanks so much for your post - some information worth more than gold.

peace



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 02:00 AM
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reply to post by Deianera
 

Hey, thanks tons for your post.

I agree, I don’t think it can be stressed enough the *stalking* factor in rape cases.

People are creatures of habit, and, because of this it makes a rapists job a lot easier.

Think about how you can break up your routines people.

Are there different routes you can take to get to where you need to go on a daily basis?

Can you ride a bike instead of walk, talking a little longer route?

Team up with people in your area for nightly walks, etc.

Anything you can do to follow a different routine as often as possible?

It sounds paranoid I know, and I don’t like to change my life on *what ifs* - so I understand people rejecting these ideas, but, it wouldn’t hurt to think about them.

Thanks again for your post!

peace



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 03:22 AM
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Thanks so much, Silo13! I'm glad that I could add what I did to your marvelous thread. Let's all keep this thread alive!



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 03:32 AM
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Urinating and defecating (especially defecating) on cue may not be as easy as it sounds... If you can do it, bravo. If not, this simple phrase might work just as good or better:

"Just so you know.... I have AIDS."



The wit and wisdom of a woman like no other, that I had the honor of knowing.




[edit on 4-10-2009 by Ethereal Gargoyle]

[edit on 4-10-2009 by Ethereal Gargoyle]



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 05:33 AM
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reply to post by Deianera
 


I work in the medical field in a critical care setting, and yes I can attest to the validity of the full moon phenomenon. The weirdos, crazies, and jerks just seep out of the woodwork on a full moon. Even otherwise normal people tend to just do stupid stuff. It's amazing.
Another small tip, and this one is mostly just a bit of humor, but I've never heard of a woman being raped while wearing a "I dial 3-5-7 not 9-1-1" T-shirt. Maybe we should print up a bunch? Better yet, have the .357 to go with it! You can't rape a .38, but a .357 will knock their **** in the dirt a lot better.
Plus think of all the taxpayer money you'll be saving by not feeding the dirt bag for 20+ years. You also get his genes permanently out of the pool, and do all of mankind a great service.
On a serious note, not "looking" like a victim is probably the absolute best "all the time" tip. Pay attention, look confident, and exude self esteem, and you won't look as attractive to a would be attacker. I knew a girl who got out of a bad situation just by looking her assailant dead in the eye, and saying "If you touch me, I'll kill you" He just ran, and she was unarmed, but he didn't want to take the chance. She wasn't "easy".



posted on Oct, 4 2009 @ 08:19 AM
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reply to post by Deianera
 

Unfortunately, the sex offender list only applies to the US (I think) and it may be used as a scape-goat list, someone thinking about raping someone else may do it near a listed sex-offender to throw the blame in that direction, and as we know, people do not need any excuse to go on a angry-mob mode, and the fact that someone is listed as a sex offender doesn't mean that he/she is the responsible in that case.



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