Spanking Leads To Child Aggression And Anxiety, Regardless Of Cultural Norm

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posted on Oct, 1 2009 @ 07:22 PM
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reply to post by TravelerintheDark

I placed my statement in a bad position for the sake of clarity I suppose.

I can accept that. Let's overlook the earlier misunderstandings, shall we?


Then they'll get burned. If a child insists on such behavior as sticking their hand on the hot stove or a finger in a light socket after the fortieth admonition I don't think the problem is not going to be resolved easily by any stretch. In fact I'm sure we all have, if only metaphorically, been burned.

Here is where I vehemently disagree. Are you aware that a child can easily die by sticking a metal object into a light socket? Die. DEAD. To say that that is just what will have to happen is unconscionable. Electrical current can run through the flesh of the child, scrambling neural impulses, cramping muscles enough to tear them, burning and searing flesh at the points of entry and exit. With good enough electrical contact, the child will not even be able to cry out; they will be frozen in silence while they experience the feeling of being cooked alive from within.

You really think that is preferable to a swat on the butt?!?


I tend, in these threads, to proudly state that my father tore my little butt up on more than one occasion. He did; that's true. But I rarely mention the whooping I got in junior high school, that was much worse than anything my father gave me. I completely deserved it. I also don't usually mention the beatings I got at the hands of bullies before I learned to fight back. Those did leave scars, both mentally and physically.

If I had to choose one action by my father that harmed me more than anything, it was his insistence that I did not fight, for any reason. I tried desperately to follow his words of wisdom, but I wasn't able to. I had to fight. It was unavoidable. How much easier would it have been on me had he told me "don't fight unless you have to"!!!

The point I am trying to make in this story is that those mental (and physical) scars can come from other actions than a simple spanking.

Do I blame my father for that advice? NO! As a parent now, I have had my feelings before that it was done out of good intentions and love reinforced by my own experience as a parent. It's not like there's a book that you get at the hospital with the child, instructions for how to work this thing they just gave you. It's all about trying to always say and do the right thing to get the child to turn out to be a good person, while realizing in the back of your mind that you really have no idea what you are really doing.

I raised my children the same way my parents raised me, with a few small exceptions. One of them was the attitude toward fighting.

That's all we can do: learn from the mistakes our parents made, and adjust our teaching to compensate. All parents do this. Some overcompensate; others undercompensate. Sometimes we get it right; sometimes we could have done better. But the bottom line is that we never know until we raise children of our own exactly how our beliefs and attitudes will compare to our parents'.


The emotional aspect is the entire point of both myself and the study discussed in the OP. Not the physical aspect. So we are in agreement.

Somewhat in agreement, but not completely. I believe one has to consider both aspects, whereas it appears you are considering only one. I also believe you are considering the entire subject from a purely emotional perspective.


As someone else wisely said, every child is different.

Yes they are; we are in complete agreement on this. My daughter required only a couple of small swats when she was very young. My son required a couple of good old-fashioned whoopin's. And there are days when I think perhaps my daughter needed less than she got while my son needed more.
But as I said before, my decisions were made without the benefit of true foresight into what will be and what won't be. As are every parent's decisions.

I still have not seen a child who at some point did not need a swat across the butt. Perhaps there are some. But that should not be taken as a statement that I consider there to be some sort of quota for beatings a child should receive. Nothing is farther from the truth.


Actually I never said that either. The issue was never once about physical injury.

And I never restricted my argument to physical injury only. Mental assault is at least as traumatizing as physical.

You are arguing that mental trauma is the only thing that should be considered, as evidenced by your assertion earlier that electrocution is preferable to a spanking. I am arguing that both mental and physical issues are important.


And thanks for your concern over my anger and resentment. I'm doing just fine.

As an adult, that is your decision. But as a human being it is my duty to inform you that IMO you are far from fine. I believe you to have deep-seated issues that color your judgments. I advise you to seek help.

Of course you are free to ignore that advice. After all, I don't know you. I only know that you bring much emotional baggage to this discussion.

TheRedneck




posted on Oct, 1 2009 @ 07:58 PM
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I will not hit my child. Ever.

For me?..I was spanked. And it's nearly cost me my life with extreme anxiety and depression. I have attempted suicide twice. And I even feal awkward around my mother.


Spanking is primitive.



posted on Oct, 2 2009 @ 03:18 AM
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Originally posted by Triple_helixxx
I will not hit my child. Ever.

For me?..I was spanked. And it's nearly cost me my life with extreme anxiety and depression. I have attempted suicide twice. And I even feal awkward around my mother.


Spanking is primitive.



I'm sorry but I really fail to understand how being spanked as a child can cause extreme anxiety and depression or how it could cause someone to try and take their own life.

Sounds like you was abused, not spanked for being naughty.

Either that or you already have some sort of mental issue thats causes you to feel so insecure.



posted on Aug, 14 2013 @ 12:05 PM
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reply to post by Jazzyguy
 

I found some research which showed people who have notable scores in perfectionism tend to have neurotic perfectionism if they were "pampered" by their parents. The neurotic form of perfectionism is also more common in females, according to research. It's the negative sort wherein perfectionists cannot tolerate failure and their perfectionism causes them to stop trying and/or to get nothing DONE. Normal (or adaptive) perfectionism can tolerate failure better.

en.wikipedia.org - Perfectionism (psychology)...:

...Non-perfectionists show low levels of perfectionistic strivings.[7] Prompted by earlier research providing empirical evidence that perfectionism could be associated with positive aspects (specifically perfectionistic strivings),[8] they challenged the widespread belief that perfectionism is only detrimental. In fact, people with high levels of perfectionistic strivings and low levels of perfectionist concerns demonstrated more self-esteem, agreeableness, academic success, and social interaction...

My point? There's a reverse side to this. You can be TOO nice to your children.

Btw, I was spanked as a child. Didn't fully read the OP, so not sure what that means.
edit on 14-8-2013 by jonnywhite because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 21 2013 @ 02:05 AM
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reply to post by Jazzyguy
 


There is a giant line between using physical discipline to teach your children what is considered absolutely unacceptable form of conduct, and physically disciplining children for every little thing they do wrong. There is also another line separating child abuse. This sociological information is interesting, and makes total since. Of course where PD is a norm amongst society it creates less anxiety and aggression in children. Because they're all receiving similar forms of punishment for similar offenses.
And like wise, in areas where it isn't socially normal to physically discipline children; the child will know that it isn't 'normal' for their friends to get hit as punishment so why are they? Why are they being treated like they're 'more bad' than their friend? Thus creating these feelings of aggression towards their aggressor and possibly for those that are receiving their preferred punishment. The feeling of aggression would likely come first, shortly after the punishment was given. However, if this style of punishment begins to be used more frequently over a short period of time the child would of course begin to develop anxiety. The anxiety stems not only from the fear of being punished in the future, but also from their fear that they're not considered 'good enough' by their parents. Especially in situations where physical punishment is over used. Over use of physical punishment can lead to the child possibly thinking of their self as bad, and act out in a manner that resembles that. Forming a vicious cycle



posted on Aug, 21 2013 @ 02:17 AM
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Most animals 'spank' their child in one way or another. A disciplinary quick tap is completely different from child abuse. But, if you can encourage children to think they are being abused when mum or dad taps their hand as the child is about to touch something dangerous or bad, well.....you can have a lot of 'abused' children needing 'private' and very expensive state care and a lot of very rich 'care providers' all leeching off the tax payers once that system becomes fully privatised.

Case in mind in the UK was of a school nurse who smacked her 11 year old son for doing something bad. I don't recall the details but her 16 year old son rang the police, had his mother was arrested. She lost her job and received a police caution and the family lost half of its earnings in one foul swoop. The issue being was that the 16 year old thought it wrong that his mother disciplined his younger brother.

Personally I suspect this young lad will be ashamed of himself for the rest of his life.....but the seeds of 'I'll do what I like and mum and dad can do nothing about it' have been set!

My youngest was in school last year and warned by the other children to be careful in a certain 'socail' class that they have because the teachers are always asking questions about whether anyone gets angry or shouts, or hits anyone in their home and other personal questions.
Some children seem very astute as to state intervention in family life as are their parents.

But again, so many 'rich friends' of people in government could make so much money by having as many children as possible taken away from their parents and in put into institutions. At possibly anywhere from £30 000 to maybe £100 000 a year per child......wow....that's big money for rich people off the backs of poor cattle!

That's 'farming' for you!



posted on Aug, 21 2013 @ 02:36 AM
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I'm sorry, this is crap.

I got my mischievous ass whooped well growing up, you won't find me raging over anything.

Our parents various ass whooping techniques and tools was regular comedy material in junior high and high school.

My psychology teacher in college asserted this herself. 65% of the classroom raised there hands in protest to that with their own stories of ass whooping that was the best for them.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.



posted on Aug, 21 2013 @ 05:11 AM
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I got wracked with a slipper or hand growing up, don't suppose it was that hard. My dad made me put my hand out, if I pulled away I got another. The anticipation was worse then the smack. This usually came after a few warnings or if I did something particularly bad.

Recently bought my first house back at Christmas and we get on really well with our neighbors so much so that we pulled out a fence panel, we see them a lot. They have two boys that reminds me exactly what my brother and I used to me like. Play fighting, running riot around the garden etc.

What stood out for me is they don't hit there kids, I've seen them tell them not to do things and once shout at them but mostly made to sit on a step and think about what they have done then come back an apologize. It seems to work in the short term but then they do it again.

They are told not to do something and sometimes continue to defy, I cant help but think if that was me we would of been told once or twice and if we did it again we got a clip round the ear or smacked on the hand, sure enough I wouldn't do it again.

Don't get me wrong for the most part there very good but they get away with murder in comparison to what I had. Still today I wont swear in front of my dad lol.

I see it a lot with other friends kids, they don't hit them. Drive's me up the wall, I cant help but think a swift slap would put an end to that and they wont do it again.
edit on 21-8-2013 by tdk84 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 21 2013 @ 06:08 AM
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reply to post by RogerT
 


Total BS!
I suppose you favor giving a free ride to students in a non-fail environment as they get here in Ontario Canada. They are able to get away with not submitting homework or completing tests

Most of them grow with crappy attitudes and an overinflated opinion of themselves, surprized when they fail miserably in higher education and employment.

It is called taking responsibility for ones action's in the growing years of one's life. Discipline of a child by his/her parents, in a sensible amount, is required and necessary.

Get real and grow up before making such comments in the future.





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