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Superficial relationships and how to get over them?

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posted on Sep, 26 2009 @ 08:39 PM
I just had a superficial friendship with someone. Okay, so I'm a guy (just for those that don't already know). I recently have been thinking about how I had a friendship with some guy I knew from high-school and like I've been thinking about how it was so superficial. I talked to him about some things. He told me about what he liked. He told me about some of his interests. I talked to him about some stuff. We got along. I just feel like I never talked to him about anything serious in-depth. Like, I haven't talked to him in a while since he hasn't been picking up the phone... but I mean like I only talked to him about things I wanted to talk about.

I just gave him updates about how I've been doing since I've been in college. He's a high-school student so I am not able to see what's going on with him in school. It just makes me feel bad because I don't think that I got to relate to him on a personal level in many of my conversations about like his regular life. I mean, it's just that it got to the point where the conversations were about the same thing over and over. I can't be the only one that has experienced this.

It felt so fake. I just didn't know how to change it. I knew that something was wrong. I haven't talked to him in a few weeks. Perhaps when I talk to him again I can try to have less of a superficial friendship... but I just think back about this and like I really don't like what happened. It felt so fake. What can I do in the future to prevent this- and if I talk to him again how should I go about proceeding with the friendship?

I can't be the only one that has gone through this. I'll get over it. It's just that I really have been thinking about this for quite some time and it's been bugging me. I would like some advice. That would be helpful.

posted on Oct, 26 2009 @ 12:55 PM
It's easy to lose touch, I wouldn't worry about it. Look him up during a reunion and then see....

posted on Nov, 4 2009 @ 09:08 PM
reply to post by Gazrok

Okay but to me it's more than that. In the past I had a lot of superficial relationships. I don't know about you but I have been working on trying to get real friendships like the last few years. I mean in my life- I've been deprived of a decent social life for a lot of my life.

That being when I was younger, like in middle school and for much of high-school I wasn't able to get along with other people that well. I mean I just had this kind of friendship with other people where I didn't really talk to other people during the friendship... I mean I felt like no one talked to me and that I had few real friends... and with the friends that I had I didn't really get along with them that well. Like you wouldn't consider me and the other person a friend... you would just consider us acquaintances. I didn't have relationships with that level of depth.

So you can see... like it's been an issue with me. With him- I used to think that I had a friendship with him... and this guy was my friend before. But now I think about it and all we talked about was just some intellectual things... and what not and I hardly got to know him... and when I did... I got to know a few things about him- like where he went for the summer and stuff like that, and some of his interests. Yet... like I never did anything with him... like we never hung out together what so ever. I felt that it was kind of pointless to keep talking to someone like that unless I would see them more of the time.

So it's not that it's about losing touch or not. I just have had this problem with other people in my life too- like with another person I used to know I tried talking to again... and like I said something to him like I was busy at certain times of the week- and like I asked if I could call him at certain times... and like he hasn't picked up the phone since I called him since then. It's like I feel bad when this happens... because it's when I trick myself into thinking that I have a friendship with these people and then like I really don't- and the people who I am really friends with happen to be other people who I didn't realize that I knew as well before.

Like... I don't know how to explain it. It's just that when I felt like I knew someone so well... and like I knew them and I talked to them a lot yet I didn't know them that well and like the whole friendship/relationship was silly. You know what I'm talking about don't you? It's not something I want to wait 40 years to fix the problem for... I just have a problem with it. I want to know what I can do about it.

posted on Nov, 6 2009 @ 11:37 AM
I don't mean to sound like I'm a really whiny kind of person. It's just a trend in my life and I'm tired of always being sad about it and going through some depression later on when I feel upset about how I felt I was treated in a friendship. Just how do I get over these things in the future? I've been getting better at getting real friendships now- but- like I mean this is the past- and I want to know how to deal with it in the future.

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