reply to post by Melissa101
Well they say when you work with someone and make a bond with them this stuff happens a lot, but I don't know how's that possible. I can never stand
the people I work with.
Anyway. uh a revelation? I had something similar happen, but I wasn't married at the time. The revelation is the sin of pride really is the worst
one and the biggest road block.
It's the, what right do they have to tell me how to live my life? What do they know attitude? I don't need no religion!
Sometimes the only way people get over that is by doing something that hurts the ones we love really bad. And then what's done is done. You can't go
back and change it and now all of a sudden we see we didn't know what we thought we knew and we weren't so darn perfect after all and we really have
no clue what to do next.
Lots of people don't face themselves and turn to drugs and alcohol or whatever. Other people do face it and are smart enough to scrap their pride and
put some humility in its place. It takes a lot, and I mean a lot sometimes, to realize that maybe just maybe we don't always know what's best for
Take it from someone that switched girlfriends a lot in their teens and early twenties. The other person is never as perfect as the fantasy you have
about them in your head is. In fact they usually turn out to be worse than the one you started with. But when you only see them in public, and you
don't live with them, and you don't have to put up with their crap everyday they may seem just about perfect.
And then one day and even worse revelation that you just left your partner for someone that in no way shape or form matches up with the fantasy of
them that you had in your head. Ouch.
The next time someone catches your fancy just try to think of all the things they're not doing for you that your husband does. Why are they so darn
special that they deserve my attention instead of my partner? That helps put it in perspective sometimes.
I think too many people have gotten into that Oprah and new age live your life now and find your happiness crap. Sometimes your immediate happiness is
everyone else's immediate hell and being an adult is about long term happiness in my opinion. Not immediate gratification. My revelation is, if the
work isn't hard, it's probably not worth it.
Marriage is more about total happiness I think. Like I could go out and take a stripper to some hotel and be happy for an hour, but then once I get
the STD tests back and the divorce paper work then where's my happiness? It's gone. Never mind it would devastate my wife. So what good is it? Also,
I don't want to run the risk of going to the strip club and seeing my exes.
Plus I found out that when dating around when you move out of your old GF's/BF's house all the time you tend to lose a lot of your stuff. It's a
road to poverty many times. That's why a lot of times when people go straight from one partner to another it all falls apart so quickly because now
every one has half the money they had before and twice the bills and most fights are about the money.
I also found out that people love the idea of stealing you away from who you're with, but once they've done that they get bored with you very
quickly and don't respect you because well, they just assume you'll do it again right? So, it's not uncommon for the verbal or physical abuse to
ramp up then.
The first year I was with my wife that's the path I was on and it was the worst year ever. Just wanted to get up and leave and start the cycle all
over again. At this point I can't remember the girls I dated who's name started with A let alone the total count, but I was sure that next time
would be different right? If I could just find the right girl right?
The next day my friend's house was robbed for his drug stash that nobody even knew he sold drugs and the day after that there was a nice little DEA
raid that put a kink in any moving plans. At that point I realized perhaps I was doing it wrong and should immediately halt the running of my own
Over ten years later me and the wife are happier than ever. We got to know each other. We found out how to work together to solve our problems as a
team instead of being each other's problem. We have financial security. Freedom to do what we want and go where we want. We couldn't be any happier
and couldn't be anymore in love.
The bottom line I guess is it's all about working towards a goal with each other. We each might have to put off our own happiness today so we can
have shared happiness tomorrow, but 100 percent of the time it's worth it.
The grass may be greener on the other side, but that's cause your neighbor knows how to water and fertilized it, not because he has better grass.
Until we're all ready to do hard work to make our lives and our relationships better for our happiness instead of looking for an easy out we'll
never have green grass. That's what I learned.
As for aliens the only thing I can say is, whoever takes a picture of one, make sure your quality setting is set to MAX or don't bother. If I see
another blurry UFO photo I'm gonna snap and you will owe me a new keyboard.
[edit on 26-9-2009 by tinfoilman]