You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too tired to explain where.
You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone about its location.
There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism
road closures, and whether you are coming or going. (This one cracked me up because it is sooo true.)
"I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late.
You never refer to the 'Metro' as the 'subway'.
You don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depended on it just to catch a Metro that will be followed
by another in 90 seconds.
*also very true*
You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you.
You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you've never see anyone working on it.
You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro.
*here is my add: you actually know what the metro conductor is saying*
First, you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is D.C., or "the District", only tourists call it Washington
There is no such thing as a dangerous high speed chase in D.C.
It's just another chase, usually on the BW Parkway.
ll directions start with "The Beltway"...which has no beginning and no end, just one continuous loop that locals believe is somehow clarified by an
"inner" and "outer loop" designatio
This makes no sense to ANYONE outside the Beltway.
The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour is from 1 to 8 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially during the
summer on Route 50 eastbound
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended and shot at. If you run the red light, be sure to smile for the $100 "picture" you
will receive courtesy of MVA. (However, if you don't go as soon as the light turns green, you will get cussed out in 382 languages, none of them
Construction on I-270 is a way of life and a permanent source of scorn and cynical entertainment. It's ironic that it's called an "Interstate,"
but runs only from Bethesda to Frederick. (Unless you consider Montgomery County another state, which some do).
If someone actually has their turn signal on, they are by definition, a tourist.
Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/95 is the most dangerous, scariest thing you will ever do.
There is nothing more comforting then seven lanes of traffic cruising along at 85 mph, BUMPER TO BUMPER!!!
If the humidity is 90+ and the temperature is 90+, then it's May, June, July, August and sometimes September
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