(TTSSC) Great White Earth

They were eating beasts. Kinda like some of us have been known to eat beasts. ....equally gross to some of us. Thanks for reading it.

reply to post by KSPigpen

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Not a problem. A good author always deserves recognition.

Please don't take things out of context here, It was a joke! Apart from this I spoke my honest critique of the story. Chill out...

KsPen's stories are entertaining, there is room for humor.

[edit on 20-9-2009 by catalyst2466]

reply to post by catalyst2466

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Signing you up for Constructive criticism 101.

LOL! I love it. You are a super-good writer. It was moving, actually-- touching. Especially for head lice ---- I didn't know they were so emotional! (I thought they were going to be lions.) But I enjoyed the story so very much.

reply to post by KSPigpen

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What a great and imaginative story KSPigpen. I thought I had an imagination but you really do ! I can't wait to see what you write for Halloween.

reply to post by AccessDenied

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Complete Black & White-thinking. Your signature -"Say's it All"-
...just how ironic!

No hon, the stars on the post say it all.
by the way..I love black and white.

*thread back on topic.

Well done.


Early on, I had the idea that I was witnessing the thoughts of a young African lioness.

And felt that her talking to God was a good touch.


The shower scene completely threw me and I didn't get it.

I did like the first 95% though so Kudo's for that....

In comparison to what we know and how we relate religion and god to the unknown, this story is awesome. I get the twist and I like it. To be blunt, the story seems revealing as it compares modern religion and it's fanatics to understanding and a bigger picture concerning specific beliefs. One could take this story as a mockery of those religious types but maybe that's why I like it.

Either way, for me it is a good way of shedding light on the topic and if at all, reveals the lack of understanding on god but also paints a reverence for that which we don't understand.

S&F for the awesome metaphor, if that's what you were getting at anyway.

Good stuff KS.

reply to post by N3krostatic

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Thanks N3kro. I'm glad you got the twist. I wanted there to be no question about it, but I think I might have not been easy enough on the readers. It seems it was sort of harsh and some seemed to not approve of it.

It was all about perception...and religion being the biggest dog and pony show that it hit on. It's never my intention to bash religion, of course, but to try and examine similarities between my beliefs, that are surely sometimes very silly, and those of other cultures which I might also think are pretty silly.

It's about the myths and stories used to relate to things we don't understand and to give ourselves some illusion of control over things that are way too big for us to know or have any influence on...about the cruel, but 'just' hand of 'God,' The love of a father for his child and a child for her father, regardless of whether that relationship holds up to the scrutiny of our definitions.

It's also about the arrogance I have as a human. Thinking I have a corner on the market of knowledge, or spiritual significance.

But it's also about little bugs living on a scalp.

Thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts, N3kro. You know I value your opinion.

reply to post by KSPigpen

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IMHO don't worry about it being too harsh. Those that find offense at the reality of truth and speculation need to question their reason for being offended. Sometimes the guilty take the truth to be hard.

What struck me most is the comparison of the lice to the scalp and person, compared to us and our world versus the universe and so on. We are but lice in the grand scheme of existence and even though it's hard to admit, we just might not be as special as religion paints us. Yes, humans are arrogant to a large extent, I agree. If only we all knew how insignificant we are compared to the unknown.

It's my pleasure to share my thoughts KS and I greatly value yours also, friend.

[edit on 21-9-2009 by N3krostatic]

Hey, KSPigpen I loved the story. I think you might be thinking too far into how others felt about it. I mean I for one love writing stories because it is fiction. There is a lot of freedom in that realm. You could do whatever the heck you want. You don't have to worry about offending or anything. The bottom line is, it is fiction. I mean you definitely hit the nail on the head with it. Kind of shown just how insignificant we really are and I thought that was an awesome twist. It was thought provoking and entertaining at the same time. A real twilight zone episode infused with some real life thoughts we all have. An awesome job at that my friend.

reply to post by jackflap

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Thanks flapjack. (see how I switched that around for dramatic effect?)

I love pancakes. We have them on Sundays.

What this whole experience has done for me is lead me along the first steps of a long journey to understand the importance of validation and the over-dependence on affirmation.

Everything happens for a reason.

I'm getting old and I have never looked at what someone els'e approval means to me. It's fun to learn how silly I can be sometimes. To explore and throw my stuff out there without having to go all Van Gogh on my ears and stuff.

Thanks for the encouragement, friends.

reply to post by KSPigpen

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I'm gonna tell you something about that name jackflap. I believe I stumbled upon this site looking for something on google. I started reading and decided to join. They asked for a username. I looked at the television and there was a cartoon on. It is call Flapjack. I thought, that's pretty cool. So for my username I typed jackflap, dyslexia?, and continued on. It has been the name I use from then on.

You gotta realize that when you get into that realm, you don't have to worry about what others think. You just gotta tell the tale as it plays out in your minds eye. Offensive? Far from it. Absolutely fantastic is what I would say. I read a few of your poems too and from what I can tell you definitely know that realm I'm talking about. It's in that place where things are much different. There is a freedom there so use it and don't let what others think come crashing in there and ruin it. Tell the tale.

The Great White Skull is a universe unto its own. Well played, KSP. You had me wondering rght up until the shampoo bit.

I'm wondering if it was head lice or fleas. On the quakes, I will remain silent.

Nicely written with a huge twist.