(TTSSC) Great White Earth

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posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 12:50 AM
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The light on her face woke her up again. Just as it always did. She looked over and her father was still sleeping. She always woke before he did. They slept in the grass. Grass taller than she could see. They had always lived there, in the spot where they were now.

The quakes during the last darkness were especially extreme. She thought to herself about how her father was always extra tired the morning after the quakes. although he would never admit it, he still felt fear when beset by the awesome power of the earth. As usual, she rose from her crude bed, checked on her father and left to go find the meat and the juice for the days meal.

If nothing else, the quakes were fairly predictable. The light would come and go two times, and and during the darkness, the earth would shake. She'd almost gotten so used to the quakes that she could sleep while they were going on. Almost. They usually lasted about fifty long breaths. Every time, She held tight to the grass, focused on her breathing and counted how many it took. She always slept better when they had already stopped. It was hard to drift off into the faith of sleep when the second light was leaving.

She walked her usual route, along the line in the ground until she could just barely see the clearing. She reached into the ground and scooped up a handful of the white earth. It wanted to clump in her hand, but she forced it to spread as she let it fall down. When she got so far from home, she got nervous. By watching the earth fall from her hands, nudged gently by the wind she couldn't feel, she could always tell which direction was home.

Her father would awaken soon and he would be hungry. She was grateful that he was with her, especially since the others had gone. She had vague memories of the others, but she hadn't seen anyone but her father in many, many lights. The last time was the flood. She always thought of the others when she saw the clearing. Her father had told her to never venture too close to it. She knew better than disobey. She didn't have time to linger, so she started her pattern. She took great pride in the manner in which she found the wild meat.

She could always tell when the animals were close. The tall grass made it difficult to see, but she had the heightened senses of a seasoned hunter and also those of a frightened child. She moved more deftly through the thick growth now that she had been hunting for so long; nothing like the cautious steps she took those first few lights that she headed out alone to provide for her small family. Her ears caught the sound of a meal and she softened her steps as she approached the source of the noise. On a huge blade of grass was the fat-bodied beast that she had learned so long ago was the source of life for her and her father. It was half as big as she was, but they never put up a fight. As she pulled the creature from the grass, the earth quivered. It was a sign from God that he approved of her catch. The beasts had many legs and though they weren't dangerous, their limbs flailing about interfered with her senses, so she did as she had seen her father do and pressed the back of her prize into her stomach with its legs facing outward. Glancing over her shoulder at the clearing in the distance, she paused and thought briefly again of the others and headed back home. It would be a journey that took many breaths.

She felt as though she could explode when she saw her father watching her carry the beast. She would pretend to not be interested in his praise and try to make the face she had remembered him making when he used to provide for the family. For generations, the fathers and sons had hunted for the food and she was secretly very happy that it came so easily for her. Her father pretended to know nothing of her efforts and when she brought her catch home, he gave her a nod and a grunt. Then he would fidget about, still lying down and would impatiently wait for the meal to be prepared, making exaggerated noises and pretending to be starving. She knew it was just an old habit and that he hadn't missed a meal in many lights.

She had seen her mother prepare the beast so many times that it was second nature to her. She squeezed the translucent body and filled their two bowls with the juice from it's pointed end. She hated the next part and it always made her stomach turn, but she fought the feeling, so that she and her father could live. She held the beast with it's legs away and forced the fingertips of both of her hands into the soft stomach. As she sunk her hands in deeper and pulled them outward, the prey cracked at the back and a brief wind of sweet air passed her face. This sound always got a smile from her father and occasionally, a chuckle. It was never mentioned, but the pain of failure was always in his eyes when he watched her doing his work.

They sat together as they had for many, many lights and ate the creatures that their father's fathers had raised armies on. When nothing was left but the hard legs and shell of the animal, they were carried for two handfuls of breaths from where the father and daughter slept and thrown in a pile. Some times, the quakes would disturb the pile in the darkness and other times, the shells would seem to disappear altogether. The father would say the Gods were keeping the earth clean but she knew the piles were really just being scattered.

The old man was full of stories and superstition. He would sit and spin yarns; fantastic tales of adventures, monsters and gods and she listened intently, more to humor him than anything else. She loved her father and he her, but he was older now and his hunting days were over, so she made sure he saw her pay close attention when the sparkle appeared in his eyes. He was all she had left of the others. Their history, by way of myth and parable was given to her from her father. He often told the same stories more than once, to be sure she would remember. His urgency grew with each light. He knew that his task must be completed, and was painfully aware that his lights, soon, would come no more.

He cleared his throat and she knew what that meant. It was time to sit, and listen. His voice was much softer than she remembered from her childhood and he struggled much more now to make words that she could hear.

"The grass here grows in the shape of the earth." After pausing and glancing to make sure he had her attention, he continued.

"My father and his father and his father...all of us have lived here. This place was chosen by God to be a place of safety and peace for us."

as many times as she had heard this story, the pride and love that her father expressed with his words erased everything from her mind but that instant and she hung on his next words.

"Before you were born, my child, our numbers were as the grass. In peace and love we lived and gave thanks to God. He provided for us the beasts and soft earth that we might lie down our bodies and rest."

His breath was much more labored now and she placed her hand on his, to comfort him and without words, told him to go slower.

"We forgot my child. We forgot to treat our brothers with love. We forgot to treat the earth with love. Without love, nothing can live and so the flood was sent to remind us that we are small and God is not.' She remembers this part, but not through her father's eyes. She still looks at these memories when she is upset or when she thinks she has forgotten love.

"The wastefulness and greed made our kind spread to the edge of the clearing, bearing many children, much too many for their fathers to feed. When so many need to eat, the beasts come no more and the children go hungry."

She hadn't been hungry in a long time, but she remembered the cries that went unanswered and the dying that were left where they had fallen.

"When our kind had suffered for many lights and through many quakes they became angry and screamed out at God. Many of the young fathers said they would cross the clearing to a land where many beasts still waited. When God saw that we would destroy the other side of the Earth, he sent the flood." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as he retold the horrors of that light.

"A wave of our kind as far as I could see marched toward the clearing. They kicked the Earth and shook the tall grass as they screamed at God. They cried out that they would TAKE what they wanted from the Earth and that God was no more."

He felt the pain of the loss of his brothers and it made him pause. She gripped his hand a little tighter.
"As they grew closer to the clearing, the hand of God came down upon them and many of them were swept away." She was a very small child then, but remembered the agonizing screams and the carnage of that supernatural event.

"many of our family that were not swept away were pressed into the Earth and crushed under the weight of God's vengeance. Those that remained were powerless against the flood. The water came from heaven and fell in lakes upon our family. In less than five breaths, the water had moved across the Earth and my brothers and their children were taken from here. I held you to me and myself to the grass."

She never could remember exactly how they managed to escape the flood, and she accepted his story as truth. She dreaded the part of the story that always came next.

(continued)




posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 12:50 AM
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"God's anger respects not the light and dark by which we live, my child and as sure as the light and darkness dance, the flood will come again."

"Father, enough. Rest."

He laid back down on the soft, white Earth and closed his eyes. She could halt the tears no longer. They streamed down her face as she recalled the times before the flood. The times when the family lived in peace and love. She stared at her father as his breathing became lighter and more spread apart.
Her father opened his eyes and turned his head toward his daughter.

"Love..." He wanted to speak more, but it wouldn't be. His eyes focused outward, beyond the only one he had left and he exhaled his last breath. His daughter wept for many of her own breaths until the tears burned like fire on her cheeks.

Completely alone, she felt herself becoming angry. Her heart pounded as if it would jump from her chest. As her anger turned to fiery rage she jumped to her feet and screamed out at God. "How DARE you!" The rage made her thoughts turn red and she no longer thought of love, or peace.

As her family had done before her, she went towards the clearing. There were not thoughts of fertile land now, no dreams of unspoiled beasts to eat, or stories to be told on a full belly.

She would take her anger to God and he would hear her. She reached the edge of the clearing and stopped long enough to quell any remaining fear with thoughts of hatred for her god.

She left the safety of the grass and was now alone, in the open, with nothing but the Earth, the light and an anger that would destroy a god, if he had the courage to show himself.

"WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE IS THE POWERFUL GOD NOW?!" She screamed and the silence that followed was deafening.

She took a step back, to the edge of the grass, reached over and with all of her rage-fueled strength, ripped a blade of grass from the ground. She was rewarded with an immediate shaking of the Earth and rumbling of the heavens. The light grew dimmer and there it was, the hand of God. It blotted out the light completely now and was seemingly intent on smiting a rebellious child. Right before the hand that covered the sky reached her, she leaped for the safety of the grass.

The Earth shuddered under the power of God's hand and the white dirt filled the air as the fingers of God dug into the soil. Within six breaths, the hand went back in to heaven. Instantly the child jumped back into the clearing and screamed at God again.

"You are no GOD. I am a child! Smite me! SMITE ME!" again, the Earth was silent.
Slowly at first and then more powerfully and rhythmically, the Earth once again began it's movements. For twenty breaths the earth shook and the light and dark mixed, with neither being in control. She had never seen this before and thought that she must have really angered God. This made her smile defiantly and a devious smirk appeared on her face.

She once again went to the edge of the clearing, grasped a blade of grass with all her might and pulled it out sharply. The root of this blade was large and the Earth beneath it was red. She took great joy in this discovery and opened her mouth to chastise God one more time. Before a sound could come out, the hand of God appeared again. It came down quickly and flat upon the Earth and she was thrown in to the air. The grass that had been her home for so long saved her as she reached out and pulled herself to it. A sound she had heard before was faintly audible. It grew louder and more intense as she climbed back down the grass and headed to the clearing. It was the sound of the flood. She looked toward the clearing and it was starting. The other side of the clearing was being flooded, but it had not come near her. This angered her even more and she raised her voice to God one more time.

"YOU ARE NO GOD! I HATE YOU!"
As if to answer her, the voice of God shook the Earth and made her hold her ears.

"HEY, BABY? CAN YOU BRING ME SOME MORE SHAMPOO?" She was not familiar with the words. Then a different, softer voice could be heard, 'sure honey!'

Confused, alone and no longer angry, but pleased that God would speak, she knelt down in the clearing and kissed the white Earth that had been her home for so many lights. As she made her peace with God, the lakes of water began to fall. Within five breaths, the wall of water overtook the child and carried her away.


[edit on 19-9-2009 by KSPigpen]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 12:39 PM
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Hi KsP'Pen- You know I think this is a Brilliant story! -but I have to say, and I'm sorry to offend you but I didn't quite "grab" the "shampoo" episode - sorry- but this is my take on this.

The thing is this is a Brilliant Story! and I really think you could Publish this-and Do So right Away! -but my honest advice is not to place that "shampoo" -part, I honestly think that the twist is already there -when you say at the end -the child girl was taken away with the great deeming flood of return. Hope not to offend you my friend, but this is an Excellent Piece of Work! Very Beautifully written with Great Imagery and Expression.

I just don't know where you were when you thought of the "shampoo: -shower scene, it is a twist yes, but honestly I feel that it takes away the "Rawness" and Sacredness and Ancient Spiritual "gift" that -Originally permeates throughout the story. "Others May Not Agree". To me this is a "gift" in it self- that you portrayed throughout the whole story. I truly think that this is a master piece of a story within it self. This is something that should be in "Public Print" and on the Shelves. Great Spiritual Insight with charming nuance of a nostalgic past, as well as "Old Folk"-Spiritual Tales of "The Land".






[edit on 19-9-2009 by catalyst2466]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 12:41 PM
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I love reading tales like this. The "twist" was nicely concealed until the end. This was a well-written, original story that, in my opinion, deserves to win. Nice work.




posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 12:52 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 


Now this is a story that took me someplace that I am thoroughly unfamiliar with. It was revealed bit by bit and I soon found out how it worked. How cool is that? I believe the whole shampoo thing was our world, affecting the characters world. Correct me if I'm wrong. Very well written. Starred and flagged.

[edit on 19-9-2009 by jackflap]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 12:58 PM
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reply to post by jackflap
 


Do you really think so Jack Flap is that really your "real name?" dunno- just sounds a lit'le flap jack if you like- Any How- what is it you suppose of the Shampoo Scene on Life- Please Enlighten Me????


[edit on 19-9-2009 by catalyst2466]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:08 PM
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reply to post by catalyst2466
 


I believe the characters world takes place in a shower. They are in a world that is very tiny compared to ours. On the edge of the grass, is where the water from the shower hits.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:14 PM
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reply to post by jackflap
 


Yes! Yes! I See this Irony that he makes, but I don't Like it- because it was so Beautiful and spiritual -then something like that -Zap! KILLs IT TO [snip]!!!! Uuuugghhhh!!!!!!!

You get the Point??? Mabey Not? -Lets Move On then Shall WE???????????????

 


Removed profanity

[edit on 19/9/09 by masqua]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:19 PM
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I really appreciate all of your input.


The people weren't people at all...at least not in the sense that we are, or maybe they were.

They lived on a man's scalp. It was the world they knew much like the world we know....limited by our ability to perceive.

The clearing was the man's bald spot.


The shampoo scene was nothing more than what it was...to us. To them, it was a fulfillment of prophesy.

Out there, I know. I sure didn't mean to upset the delicate spiritual balance of anything.


Thanks for reading it though.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:22 PM
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reply to post by catalyst2466
 


It is still spiritual and the twist was awesome. I mean consider for a moment that our world is just like theirs. I believe you were let down because the character wasn't addressing the real God at that point. Just a perception. Which is an outrageous twist actually and very witty. You shouldn't feel let down, just take the awesome literary skills that brought you on that trip and savor them.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:25 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 


Quite the contrary KSPigpen, you upset nothing in the spiritual world. You have taken us on an awesome little adventure and thank you for it.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:32 PM
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One Last thing! please, Please, KsP'pen Castrate that freaking [snip]- Damm Bloody Cow! if your're gonna be famous You need to take on a Respectable image! -ear me now boy!!!!!!!

 


Removed censor circumvention.

please be mindful of the fact that The T&C's apply in the Wtiting Forums.

[edit on 19/9/09 by masqua]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 01:43 PM
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reply to post by catalyst2466
 


:p you're a nut, Cat. There is no desire on my part to be 'famous.' Humans crucify the famed.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 02:05 PM
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Wow! -Now that you have explained it ALL! - But I Still Very Recommend the story without the -Shampoo BS! ...
...And definately still recommend - a Published Story!



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 02:59 PM
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Originally posted by catalyst2466
Wow! -Now that you have explained it ALL! - But I Still Very Recommend the story without the -Shampoo BS! ...
...And definately still recommend - a Published Story!


You know, I hope, Cat that I treasure your input, my fiend. Your take on the spiritual aspect of the story was more than I could have hoped from anyone. I appreciate you being honest and forthright with your commentary, as I'm sure you would as well.
Your encouragement and willingness to express your criticism, positive or otherwise is more than anyone could ask.
I could no more change the ending than I could die my child's eye's a different color.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 03:02 PM
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Wow catalyst- nothing nice to say? zip it.
KSP- Enthralling..I loved it.
and the avatar, makes me laugh every time I see it.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 03:28 PM
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Originally posted by AccessDenied
Wow catalyst- nothing nice to say? zip it.
KSP- Enthralling..I loved it.
and the avatar, makes me laugh every time I see it.


Thank you AD.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it and thank you even more for taking the time to drop me a line.



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 04:05 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 


Good story.
I particularly liked it's theme.


[edit on 19-9-2009 by Watcher-In-The-Shadows]



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 08:39 PM
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Okay, good story except, WTH were they eating??? I suspect lice??? If so ewwwwwwwwwww OMG gross. lol, Still I enjoyed the story!



posted on Sep, 19 2009 @ 09:06 PM
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reply to post by Watcher-In-The-Shadows
 


Thanks watcher.
I appreciate you letting me know what you thought.







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