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All of ATS Should STAY AWAY from MY TOWN. (Go to Denver!)

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posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 04:42 PM
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OK. Denver is not such a bad idea, I hear the terror cells are in bloom this time of year. Canada is great and though it's an awful long walk, Tierra Del Fuego is commonly accepted as the most survivable location in the event of a total thermonuclear exchange.

Southwest Kansas is OFF LIMITS! (I'm not telling you which town, because I don't want to have to waste my bullets. I'm sure you understand.)

We have just enough food and water for us and ours and don't have much tolerance for outsiders, so do us ALL a favor and just keep on walking or riding that fancy bicycle of yours.

Mexico is to the South, Canada to the North. You shouldn't go West, or East, cuz that's where the bombs are falling. I guess you can really go whatever direction you like, you just can't stay here.

We don't need any of you free thinking, right-wing nut jobs, left-wing lackeys or middle-of-the-road bums piddling around here.

Around these parts, liberal is how we apply the butter to our biscuits and conservative is how we are with our hooch when strangers come a callin'.

I'm sorry I can't help you, but on this stretch of the plains, we don't cotton to carpetbaggers or tea baggers or any other kind of hippy freak.

You best be on yer way.




posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 04:48 PM
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I didn't realize hospitality in these parts had fallen so far. In Oklahoma we also have unemployment, homelessness, etc. Still, yall are welcome to sit a spell on the porch, sip a tall, cool glass of sweet tea and show us pictures of your grandkids.

Bad behavior isn't tolerated but we'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Once.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 04:51 PM
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For those thinking of coming to Canada, I highly recommend the newly formed territory of Nunavut.

Pure heaven compared to Kansas.

I know you;d love the rock climbing.



Edit to add that our present benevolent government would be greatly appreciative of many thousands willing to come and populate this area. You could be pioneers.

Woot!

[edit on 15/9/09 by masqua]



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 04:54 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 




Thank you for that.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:02 PM
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Yall come on down south. We don't have much but what we have we'll share and find a way for everybody to make it through.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:02 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 
Yeah, but, just think of all the tourist income yer people could pocket, what with hundreds of FBI and a half a dozen Terrorists!!!

Ol' Jim Bob's Country Mart would be bustin' at the seams...

Now you sure you want Plucky to have ALL The Mega Panic Sex???

Just seems a tad off kilter what with Mega Panic Sex the hardest to get these days...


And I'm from Michigan...I have no fear anyone will come to this wasteland...




[edit on 9/15/2009 by Hx3_1963]



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:08 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 


You can't come to Utah either.

We're all weird here.

We'd know if it was a stranger, you wouldn't fit in.

But I'll give you some ammo and hardtack before you go.




posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:12 PM
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Yeah, if the SHTF, you can all come to NYC where we can try to fight our way out, Snake Pliskon style, and forage in Bodegas for food.


Edit - for grammar

[edit on 15-9-2009 by really]



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:17 PM
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Yall can come to Los Angeles but by all accounts we will be at the bottom of the Pacific.

We are all weird too!

[edit on 15-9-2009 by cindymars]



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:23 PM
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Well, here in Acadia, we will give you the shirts off our backs, but then we won't have any. I hope you like potatoes, because that may be what we eat three meals a day! (Sorry, the lobsters have all been eaten already).

[edit on 15-9-2009 by novacs4me]



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:38 PM
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Well, since most everybody hates Texas and wants us out of the US, guess we don't have to worry about many comin' here.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:45 PM
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Dont any of you dare come to East London,
seriously, its a horrible place.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:46 PM
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I think maybe I was a bit too hasty with, what, my effort to keep all the fun to myself and all.

I've decided (after momma reminded me 'bout my manners) that you can camp out down the road from us, but we're not gonna put up with none of that 'woodstock' stuff around here. None of that 'free love' and certainly none of them 'panic' relations.

I think if God had meant me to panic when I had them relations, he wouldn't have invented a light that I can turn off. Heaven knows it makes momma a lot more comfortable too, when she's doin' them things wives are spose to.

So, if you'll cut your hair, and take a freakin' bath for Pete's sake, you buncha smelly hippies, I reckon, if you stay downwind, you can stay a couple days out by the tree. But come sundown on Thursday, you best be movin' on.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 05:53 PM
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reply to post by KSPigpen
 


Thanks a hell of a lot!!

My wife is showing up at your door. She'll have two cats, one dog, and our seventeen year old son.

You can put him to work.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 06:01 PM
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Well, I'm happy I live where I do as even if a Nuke as big as Tsar Bomba or Castle Bravo went off 50 miles away, we wouldn't even suffer the Fallout thanks to the combination of two separate Mountain Ranges and Coastal Winds.

Although we will have to blow up the Mountain Pass to keep those surviving Californian Zombies out if it comes down to that.

I don't think I'll miss my iPhone service much, but I sure am going to miss New York Pizza and Napa Valley Wines.

Since we won't have these new-fangled Computer Bulletin Boards like ATS, I hope I'll be chatting with y'all on HAM Radio after the blast.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bend over and kiss something good-bye.


/t.i.c.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 06:12 PM
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Dont none of you all come to the S.F/Bay area . Its a totally insane place


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 06:15 PM
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Originally posted by cindymars
Yall can come to Los Angeles but by all accounts we will be at the bottom of the Pacific.

We are all weird too!

[edit on 15-9-2009 by cindymars]


I'm with ya here! All are welcome here in La La Land... we managed to hold on this long and we do by holding each other up!
I'd rather go down fighting to survive together, rather than to just die alone fighting... period.
... and yes we can be quite strange.


In any case... I'm pretty certain cannibalism will occur here first! So fear not cause I'm sure there will be plenty to eat.

[edit on 15-9-2009 by Numb2itall]

[edit on 15-9-2009 by Numb2itall]



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 06:18 PM
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Originally posted by KSPigpen
But come sundown on Thursday, you best be movin' on.



But thursday is Meatloaf night



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 06:19 PM
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You'ns can come here to Missouri..I figure we're pretty safe being smack dab in the middle of the country...but I warn ya..we eat everything deep fried...we drink piss beer..and theres a meth manufacturer every other block.



posted on Sep, 15 2009 @ 06:24 PM
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Might as well come on down South here.

Hell, everyone else is.

Mashed 'taters, fried okra, pork chops, black-eyed peas, and a little corn mash likker cut with kerosene to moderate the flavor.



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