reply to post by wylekat
had same problems but learned that it was the same everywhere. in fact, worse in some places. a friend of mine was a long hair fella with a scraggly
beard. he was tall and thin and rather poor. he couldn't walk down the street without attracting the attention of police officers.
always card him to see if he had any outstanding warrants and it didn't matter where he was in the US. so i'm gonna suggest that what you
experienced in "church society" is similar in effect to police profiling.
you know that saying:
if it looks like a dog, walks like a dog and barks like a dog, it's probably a dog.
in profiling, one or more of those steps is not essential to garner attention, mostly because it's a numbers game. nothing against you personally,
just snap judgement seems to pay off more often than not, if at least one of the criteria is present. i don't agree with that approach but admit
that we all do it to some degree on any number of topics and as regards any number of "social strata" or "social groups" (like churches for
i've been to churches where very happy hippy like people would be all over the place, hugging, laughing, singing, reading bible verses and basically
having a very good time in their "church service." they'd meet new people at the door with a big hug and a kiss, which today would be considered
unacceptably dangerous. there was no profiling there. you could be rich, poor, polka dotted, didn't matter.
i've also been to churches where everything was orderly, subdued and restrained. no kissing or hugging, but perhaps a handshake, a wave, a polite
smile. you would be profiled in a heart beat, based on your appearance and demeanor.
the churches out there are as varied as the people who comprise them, i think. depends on which verses appeal to you the most. for example, there are
verses that tell you to be sober and in control of your emotions. but, there are also verses that tell you to praise the Lord with music and song,
and to be glad and joyous...which is clearly not an example of being sober and unemotional. maybe this explains why there are so many different types
of churches...because the verses have a different focal point for you at various stages in your life or for various types of people.
personally, i found a church that was somewhere in the middle. they were happy, friendly, joyful, but also realistic, logical and disciplined within
reason, where discipline was required. can't say i've lived up to the standards yet but at least some of that is due to the various curve balls
life has thrown me.
anyway, remember you are profiling big time at the moment, and although i understand your position, i am certain this doesn't have to be the case.
afterall, it says where ever two or more are gathered in his name, there he is in the midst. church can be, ostensibly, two people who believe.
it's only for edification anyway. the church building can't save ya or forgive ya of sins no how.
as regards your love life, i just happened to remember what i did about this topic as a young adult. i quit looking. i made up my mind to be happy
and set goals for myself, in lieu of the hunt for the perfect mate. and within 2 years, i had met and married the man i'm still married to today.
i'm 50 years old and we married when i was 22.
you might try picking up hobbies and such, to keep your mind energetic and positive. for example, i decided to hone my artistic skills. always
wanted to play guitar, so bought a 12 string ibanez and learned to play it. wrote my own songs, sang, etc. learned to play piano. started to read
voraciously and to help others when and where i could. kept me really busy and happy.
[edit on 19-9-2009 by undo]