posted on Sep, 5 2009 @ 02:26 PM
My heart breaks reading of your loss.
Four months after I got married my husband's brother died of a drug overdose.
He was like my own brother. I will never forget that pain, or the nightmare.
I will never forget the howls of grief from my MIL when she came home from the hospital. Or me having to quickly clean my BILs bedroom of blood and
vomit and paramedic materials.
My MIL was in bed for three months. She eventually lost her job.
Just take care of yourself right now. Just go through the motions, just let the grief happen. Don't ever be embarrassed.
You have earned every right to openly grieve.
You will never get over it of course. You learn to adapt. I will warn you that the first few years of birthdays and christmases are awful.
don't make any decisions regarding your son's things. Just leave them. don't pack them up or give them away. There is plenty of time to decide
that, when you are ready.
All you can do is breath, minute by minute, day by day. You will get through the awful hazy nightmare.
Tell people to save their visits for a later time. There is nothing worse then when the hoopla is over and the flowers have died and the house is
I always tell people that when helping someone with a death, give things or food, not flowers. Or make donations. Also, come by weeks later, because
that is when people really start feelign alone. And the quiet of the house gets to them.
My mother will send a sympathy card every year for years after someone is gone, to let the family know she has not forgotten them.
As for the OD. Don't do the would of, could of should of. it is an awful disease. It changes a person, makes them into something they are not. It is
an ugly monster. There is nothing you could of done.
Feel free to talk to me at any time. Talk talk talk, and get that grief off your chest.
How old was your son?
Our "date" is coming up on the 9th. It has been 6 years now. My bil would of been 30 this year. And I still miss him to bits.