ever been in a friends with benefits situation?

cause i have been propositioned. i am on a dating website called plenty of fish and i met this girl but that is all she wants.
i want a relationship but at the same time, a little lovin would not be bad.
i'm kinda scared and don't know what to do.....so if you've been in that situation before how did it work for you

reply to post by thing fish


TF, first off POF is horrible, I met this chick on there and we chatted for a bit then she gave me the # so I call, we talk every day for 4 or so days. Then turns out she's married and just wants a "hook up" and I guess she does it all the time. so I don't facilitate her request but she still (at that point) calls and calls and fiannaly had to tell her to lose my #.

If you want a relationship, hold out for one don't sell yourself short and get into hollow physical only relationship, unless of course you can't hold out. That always complicates things any ways so best at least get to know the propositioner a bit first. Good luck

I suppose if that is what you want to do then you should do it. I have never wanted a situation like that so my answer to your question is nope. Intercourse for the "fun" of it may be alright if that is what you desire. I don't and never have wanted something like that. I give my body when my heart is cherished. Good luck with your decision.

My experience has been pretty positive.
I used to sleep with this girl for about a year and we were just great friends.Did most things together.She wasn't into a relationship and even tho I was,we had too much history for me to take her as a girlfriend...our relationship was always just being good friends.It would have changed things too much and would have been awkward.
She was into women as well so we would go to the park and check out the girls together.
She liked a certain girl but the girl wasn't into other women so she hooked her up with me instead.
We fell in love and I would have never met her if it wasn't for girl number 1.

When its all said and done she might have some cute friends to introduce you to.

reply to post by thing fish


Just remember that repeated casual sex is rarely uncomplicated. Drama will always find a way in

reply to post by thing fish


First things first Things lol

That s not a friends with benefits situation.
That's ONLINE: the casual "dating" scene.
You are going to go on dates and not just hooking up right ?
If it's just a spontaneous "hook up" situation you may want to be a bit leery at the start.

Friends with benefits as I understand it involves a relationship prior to the casual 'Stuff' cropping up. I have experiences in that type of FWB relationships,but they often generate drama at some point.Some of them were awesome,were exactly what we truely needed and lead to a very close and lasting friendships. A few lead to not being friends anymore.

Being that you stated that you would like to have a relationship but might be interested in a bit of fun,it sounds like you might be setting yourself up for a little heartache.

I don't engage in the ONLINE: the casual "dating" stuff myself.
I'm sure if you did a web search on it you'll find the horror stories as to why I don't.

Make sure you have the ground rules in place.
ultimately your on your own ,so good luck, and I hope you end up with at least a good "friend'.



[edit on 4-9-2009 by The Utopian Penguin]

thanks for all the advice guys. i appreciate it. i just don't know what to do.
i really do want a relationship as that is why i joined the site.
this girl jusr propositioned me though and it has me thinking about it.
i have not had intercourse in like 15 months...ya feel me.
i am looking at a way to end the down streak.

drama is what i do not want in any form. i still have to think about it.

Well I was in one before and I really dont believe they ever work out. If you end having feelings for her and she doesnt ends up having no feelings at all, you'll just end up getting hurt. Why put yourself through the trouble. Im sure you'll find someone who wants more than just sex.

Hi Mr Fish - I appreciated your advice in my thread about being dumped, by the way, so let's see if I can return the favour....!

It sounds to me like you had your feelings hurt badly last year. I have been in a 'friends with benefits' arrangement before, and the best thing I ever did was end it. Only once that was out of the way, did I have the time, energy and motivation to find something more meaningful and fulfilling.

Hooking up with someone from the internet for a one-nighter (for me, anyway) would probably be unfulfilling, and just makes you feel grubby afterwards, and absolutely desperate to get out of the situation as soon as 'it' is over, hehe!

Having said that, there are probably some nice girls on the dating sites (hidden amongst the wierdos!) I'd just want something more meaningful than a one-nighter - I'm sure you can be creative and think of other ways of relieving your needs, hehe! Good luck!

Millions

I wouldnt do it. I have done the friends with benefits and it never works out. Someone develops feelings or someone gets more into it than the other. If you want a relationship then I would wait and look for someone who wants that as well, otherwise you will end up getting hurt...Also try okcupid.com I met a really great guy on there and we dated for almost a year and we are still good friends. It was the first site I ever went on like that and it weeds out those looking for just hook-ups and stuff. Good luck in your quest for love

ok buddy..plenty of fish, been there, done that...and got living proof.
thanks to a friends that turned into benefits thing , long ago past though.
POF has gotten really bad for married people looking for side action.
Nobody even really reads the profiles anymore.
Try Eharmony or another site.

Okay, first - "ick" to the whole topic. Everyone deserves someone who loves and adores them exclusively. Don't settle for less.

Now for my 2¢: Someone always wants more. Period.

If you are confident in yourself do it up... But if you have any doubts about your self and are sensitive DO NOT-

Likely it will be awkward as all hell afterwards - so if you are one to wonder WHATS WRONG you might screw your own head up- I had one encounter years ago that
put me way off my game-

Occasionally you will find a nutty chick, nutty chicks get blank stares when your action jackson- and they can GO very psycho very quick... If ole girl gets some weird look in the eye, excuse your self and RUN AWAY...

If you just want some fun and don't care to call her back Mental suggests you drink yourself into a stupor, pretend she is princess Lea and go crazy

Originally posted by thing fish
not had intercourse in like 15 months

This changes everything, make up your mind you are never going to talk to her again.
Go get a room and get going, you will feel better, your head will be clearer and you will
pick wiser when you find a proper suitor. One night stands really put things into perspective, it will give you your mojo back, for me at least.

Good luck