I don't know if this is the appropriate place but here it goes...

Now, this is a mindsate I find everywhere, not just on this site, but I find it here as well and it bothers me.

What mindstate you ask? The mindstate that everyone charged/convicted/accused of a crime is a threat to society and is better off locked up forever or even worse. Also, the the mindstate that society is better off without these people in it.

Now, while there are rapists, child molesters and murderers out there and in the system, the good majority of the system is filled with people in prison for victimless crimes.

I.E. 70 percent of women incarcerated are incarcerated for non-voilent crimes.

In 2000 75.9% of those(male and female) incarcerated were incarcerated for non-voilent crimes.

"Either build schools for the child, or build prisons for the adult."

Don't think thats the exact quote but, oh well.

From 1987 to 1995, state government expenditures on prisons increased by 30% while spending on higher education decreased by 18%.

602,032-Number of African Americans in Colleges in the US in 2000.
791,600-Number of African Americans in jails and prisons in the US in 2000.

Over a 2-year period from 1994 through 1995, state spending on prison construction increased by $926 million while funds for higher education fell by $954 million.

Now on to my story...

I am a male in my early twenties. I got the mother of my child pregnant at the age of 16. I dropped out thinking I would be able to find work and support them. Mainly because her family wouldn't help and I come from a poor family that all have had to work together to stay afloat month to month. Well, at the age of 16 with no prior work history and not being connected or having any family connections in the area I lived in I found nothing. Needless to say it was a dark time in my life and I spent the majority of the time I wasn't looking for work drinking and smoking reefer, just trying to erase the thoughts I would end up like my father who was never there for me and worthless.

At around the age of around 17, I got into some trouble with the law. It was christmas time and i had no money to buy my son anything and he didn't have diapers or clothes that fit. I did something stupid. I got caught afterward and had to go to court. Being a juvenile the court thought it best for my son's mother to move back with her parents who had moved states away. That day the system broke up my family.

Afterwards, we still talked and I would have my child for months at a time so everything was fine. Other than the fact finding work became harder. Also, when my son would leave for months it became hard for me to stay sober. After time the relationship became strained more and more. With her coming from a fairly well off family that had both parents that worked well paying jobs and me coming from a poorer family, the arguments about money started to become more prevalent as time went on. I got desperate. I started selling marijuana.

But, by the time I had started to make enough money to keep her happy, she had already left and wouldn't answer my calls because she was with someone else. She took my son and wanted me out of her life. She wanted me to disappear,as if I didn't exist. I still really don't know why to this day, I didn't beat her, she had no objections to what I was doing, maybe her family got in her ear, I just don't know. Well, whatever I stray away from topic.

By that time I was drinking and smoking heavily. I was also making a good amount of money. And hell, I wasn't selling herion, I didn't sell to children. I found nothing morally wrong with what I was doing. I Still don't find anything morally wrong with it to this day. I wasn't making people steal to get their fix, so who cares?

Apparently the law...

Months later the raid hit. My grandmothers house got raided. They threatened to take the house, they kicked my nephew who was only a few months old, they hit me with the butt of an ar-15, and threatened to arrest everyone in the family(although noone had an inkling of what I was doing outside of the household).

I was sentenced to two one year sentences in jail or pay 5,000 dollars a peice to get the time knocked off. Well, they took every dollar I had in the raid, and as I said earlier I come from a poor family so I had to do the time. Also, selling any form of narcotic, regardless of what it is, is considered a voilent crime, which makes you ineligible for certain work programs to cut time off. There is really nothing else at all to say about that period of time, jail is a rather mundane place.

Anyway, upon my release I realized that to continue to participate would mean a perpetual cycle of previous events leading me farther away from my goal of seeing my child. So since then no matter how hard things have got and no matter how easy it would be to fall back into the fast money lifestyle I have not. Now, I with a big F on my record work is almost non-existent. But I perservere.

Now my problem with this mindstate shall be stated.

Should I be treated the way I am by society today?

Do I deserve to be thrown away? Locked away with the key thrown in the ocean?

I never hurt anyone with my actions other than my family(not purposefully). I never forced anything on anyone other than my family(Not purposefully). Noone suffered because of my actions other than myself and my family. And what I fear most is that my son will suffer the most for my youthful ignorance. He needs a father. Not a step father, but a father. He needs to know his biological father loves him. Or he might end up like me or worse. Even though what I did is considered wrong, I did what I felt I had to do to keep everything together. Keep my family together and well off. You never know what you'll do for money till you don't have it. It's easy for someone that's never been in a bad situation to point the finger and call names, but I want people to seriously think. There is a story behind every "criminal". And a family.

Good on ya for being able to open up.


You see....the law enforcement\justice system has a problem. In your synopsis of the situation early in your thread - it is clear that if the law is enforced properly....there are not enough physical resources to contain and rehabilitate every single criminal.

If every criminal right now this second was arrested - the entire system would collapse.

To really solve the solution, the definition of Crime needs to be rewritten. Not in the lawbooks, but throughout society too. As you can imagine, with all the red tape and beurocracy, this is a long and painful task through the lawbooks. And changing an entire society...yeek gads, I bet some places in America look at you strange if you walk down the street with a beer in your hand, whereas in English society this is perfectly acceptable. Chaning society will take a lot of time, but the lawbooks are a good start.
Some places like Australia have decriminalized marijuana posession, which frees up more resources for more serious crimes. In other countries, the solution is to rewrite Law Enforcement. No prisons - just an execution squad.

As for your situation with a permanent "record" and the feeling of the key thrown away from you. If I was you I'dd find a way to change identity.

If there is a will - there is a way.

Did you know what you was doing illegal?

If so why did you do it?

Drug dealers cost me 7 years of my life with my dad. Now it looks as if it will cost you any chance of knowing your child.

It wasn't the system that did this to you or me. It was the choice that you made and my uncle made. Next time hopefully you will do the responsible thing and not look for the quick buck.

I have no problems with the sentences dope pushers get. I agree that our prisons are completely maxed out. Thats why I want tougher laws.

All murderers get the death penalty

All sex offenders get the death penalty

Dope pushers get 25-life

Theives get 10-25 depending on what on how much and whether they used a weapon.

And the death sentance will be carried out within a year they are convicted. No more waiting on death row for 25 years.

That would be a nice penal system.

Man am I going to be flamed for this post.

Well I say this....The Jail system is not designed to rehabiliate anyone.
Look at it for christs sake.
You go there to get out as quickly as you can, or learn to become a better criminal..or you find a spiritual awakening..usually on your own.

Our Jails do not rehabilate people effictively.
And to the OP I give sympathy.....People put yourself in his shoes. During this recession especially, money is scare.
No he wasnt selling herion...he was selling a plant grown naturally by the Earth. Made illegal by THE SYSTEM..kind of unnatural isnt it( Thankyou Bill Hicks)
You say drugs are drugs...I say plants arent drugs Xanax is a drug, but you sell the **** outta that to any and everyone.
"But it helps me out I take xanax"
well what about OP who needed a way to get money for his kid because the system itself is not designed to take care of everyone.But hey if the government says its cool its alright.
And as far as our basis of laws and where they originally came from "The Constitution" was written on hemp paper, hemp material for our first flags too.
Though IMO droppin out, was your own fault..but again the system has made it to where you need highschool and suaully college to survive.
Many people cannot afford to do so, not everyone has the same circumstance.

Murder, and robbery...that is different.
But to compare selling marijuana to anything other than selling marijuna is rdiculous. It angers me to see a sex offender get off easier than a pothead.
Pot is not the same as coke and herion though, it just isnt. The enviorment and nature is completley different and if you think that then you have not looked at enough info from various sources.

My man I respect you because you hustled the system. you didnt rob, you didnt kill or steal for the money. You played the system that is hypocrital and very old school.Though I do feel for you
I'll send sum reiki through to you in my prayers for hopes that your situation turns better. Trust me though think postive as hard as it is too do

What you did first to get involved with the law, you don't state. I cannot comment on that if your punishment was fair or not.

On your second experience of jail for selling pot, that is just hilariously insane. First of all, pot is being legalized/decriminalized around the world as we type. Second of all, i live in Finland where we are very conservative and way behind much of Europe in reforming our outdated laws. That said pot is illegal. But to give you an example about crime&lawful punishment: 2 guys got arrested last week with some 30+ kg of hashish here and the prosecutor wants 2 years in prison for them.

You don't state the extent of your business, but i assume from what you wrote it was nothing of this magnitude. I also agree, you were doing a victimess crime.

Originally posted by AgnosticX

That day the system broke up my family.

Quit with the pity me stuff, here. You said you made a "stupid mistake." You broke up your family with your mistake. Also, why are you citing statistics about educational funding when you admitt you dropped out of school? Learn from your mistakes and move on. You wouldn't have been in the situation, you would have us believe, if you hadn't gotten this girl pregnant. I think otherwise. You are using this as an excuse to justify your illegal activities, which I believe you would have done, anyway.

Also, when my son would leave for months it became hard for me to stay sober. After time the relationship became strained more and more.

And, you wonder why the relationship became strained? You can't possibly be this clueless. You were having problems staying sober. Who in their right mind wants their child to be around people that can't stay sober?

With her coming from a fairly well off family that had both parents that worked well paying jobs and me coming from a poorer family, the arguments about money started to become more prevalent as time went on. I got desperate. I started selling marijuana.

You also said above you had a hard time staying sober. Instead of spending money on things that kept you from being sober, you should have been sending the money to your child. Duh!

But, by the time I had started to make enough money to keep her happy, she had already left and wouldn't answer my calls because she was with someone else. She took my son and wanted me out of her life.

And this surprises you? Gee, do you think it might have something to do with you being a bad influence on your son?

She wanted me to disappear,as if I didn't exist. I still really don't know why to this day, I didn't beat her, she had no objections to what I was doing, maybe her family got in her ear, I just don't know. Well, whatever I stray away from topic.

This has everything to do with the topic. You messed up big time. No child needs to be around you.

By that time I was drinking and smoking heavily. I was also making a good amount of money.

Dirty money is no excuse for your behavior.

And hell, I wasn't selling herion, I didn't sell to children. I found nothing morally wrong with what I was doing. I Still don't find anything morally wrong with it to this day. I wasn't making people steal to get their fix, so who cares?

Herein lies your problem. You just don't have a clue. What would you describe as your occupation on bring Dad to school day?

Months later the raid hit. My grandmothers house got raided. They threatened to take the house, they kicked my nephew who was only a few months old, they hit me with the butt of an ar-15, and threatened to arrest everyone in the family(although noone had an inkling of what I was doing outside of the household).

And, this was all your fault. You put your family in a bad situation so that you could make some easy money. You don't expect any sympathy here, do you?

I was sentenced to two one year sentences in jail or pay 5,000 dollars a peice to get the time knocked off. Well, they took every dollar I had in the raid

And rightly so. You are lucky they didn't seize your grandmother's property.

and as I said earlier I come from a poor family so I had to do the time. Also, selling any form of narcotic, regardless of what it is, is considered a voilent crime, which makes you ineligible for certain work programs to cut time off. There is really nothing else at all to say about that period of time, jail is a rather mundane place.

Drug dealing leads to violent crimes. You should have considered the consequences of your actions and what the results would be from making easy money. You are not complaining here, are you? You keep mentioning how poor your family is. Many people who become successful come from poor families. They manage to improve their situations, rather than make them worse by selling drugs. They get grants, student loans and work their way through school. They don't try to get ahead by way of illegal activites.

Anyway, upon my release I realized that to continue to participate would mean a perpetual cycle of previous events leading me farther away from my goal of seeing my child. So since then no matter how hard things have got and no matter how easy it would be to fall back into the fast money lifestyle I have not. Now, I with a big F on my record work is almost non-existent. But I perservere.

Good for you. Now you have learned how your bad descisions might have quite possibly ruined your life. Don't wonder why your girlfriend has tried to get you out of her life, and the life of your son. I don't blame her one bit.

Should I be treated the way I am by society today?

Not if you have learned from your experience. I don't think you have. You have justified your poor judgement by trying to get pity from us with your story. You took the easy way out by trying to make fast money. You did not consider the consequences of your actions. You also say you still don't think you did anything wrong. You say you did not sell to children, but how about the people you sold to? You had no control over what they did with the drugs after you sold them to somebody else.

Do I deserve to be thrown away? Locked away with the key thrown in the ocean?

This is a ridiculous question. Improve your situation, rather than look for pity.

I never hurt anyone with my actions other than my family(not purposefully). I never forced anything on anyone other than my family(Not purposefully). Noone suffered because of my actions other than myself and my family.

How can you say this, having been a drug dealer? You are not serious, are you? What about the people you sold drugs to? How do you know they did not spend their food money on drugs, like you did, rather than supply things like diapers or clothes for their child? You can't see the forrest for the trees, can you?

And what I fear most is that my son will suffer the most for my youthful ignorance. He needs a father. Not a step father, but a father. He needs to know his biological father loves him.

You should have thought about this before participating in illegal activities. I'm sorry, but you are putting your own need to be a father to your child over and above what is best for your son. You are a very selfish person.

Or he might end up like me or worse. Even though what I did is considered wrong, I did what I felt I had to do to keep everything together. Keep my family together and well off.

You didn't keep everything together. You made your situation worse. Sorry, but you don't seem to have learned you lesson, as you try to use your son as an excuse to have done what you did. The child is better off without you in his life at this moment.

You never know what you'll do for money till you don't have it. It's easy for someone that's never been in a bad situation to point the finger and call names, but I want people to seriously think. There is a story behind every "criminal". And a family.

Sometimes the names are appropriate. You put yourself into your situation because of bad choices. Life is full of choices that are yours, and yours alone. There is a story behind every person and family on earth. What makes you special?

edit to fix quotes

[edit on 1-9-2009 by Blanca Rose]

[edit on 1-9-2009 by Blanca Rose]

I dont think you did anything wrong but try to support your family. I have been in this situation with an ex bf (I didnt have a child though) he was into things like you were and I didnt have a problem with most of it but in a way I did. I knew he was trying to make a living and he did have a job but he could barely pay bills with what he made so he turned to other things..selling. I didnt know for a while and then I found out. I was upset but I understood. The problem I had with it was what would happen if he got caught and what would happen to me as well. I sure as heck didnt want to go to jail for being associated with it. I know it was only reefer but its still illegal to sell and I wanted no part of it. I never put him down but I told him to do what he had to do and that I didnt want to know anything about it....He did stop shortly after that and never did it again. He has a good job now and a family of his own. I dont think what he did was wrong nor do i think he should have been locked up either. He wasnt stealing or hurting others he was trying to support us and I cant fault him for that. He was a good guy.
I think you were young and stuck in a situation where you had to do what you had to do to survive and support your family. You supported your family and there is nothing wrong with that in my eyes. I must say I have seen many teens get pregnant and the father disappears so I give you a lot of credit for staying and helping out and still being there. In my eyes you seem like a good parent who is trying to provide a good life for their child and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

As for the ones in jail right now I think its insane what drug dealers get. I have seen drug dealers get more time than rapists and murderers and its sick. I know drugs are bad but I would rather see murderers and rapists in prison for life than some drug dealer. The whole system is messed up! I only think we should throw the key away to murderers, rapists and child molesters.

I just want to say thanks for sharing your story and for not giving up and for being there for your family. : ) Good luck to you.

I'd like to clarify some things because people aren't reading exactly what I wrote and taking me out of context.

After I found out she was pregnant and couldn't find work, I drank and smoke.

My son was born. I quit.

Months later is when the court system broke the family up. I started again.

My son would come to town. I would quit.

He would leave. I would unfortunatly start again.

Cycle would repeat for a while.

When she took my son and moved. I began drinking heavily.

I am offended by people saying things they know nothing about like "why did you buy dope when you're son was around." That didn't happen. I am not a heroin addict. I didn't need my "fix". Once again this was supposed to be about how easy it is to be led astray. And also the problem with the system that would keep minor drug offenders in prison for years (paid for by you fine folks) other than trying to defend people against real crimes.

Also, whille people keep saying you dropped out thats your fault. 2 months after dropping out I got my ged. Even with that work was scarce and the few jobs I did hold in those years I was usually fired right after business would slow down or winter would come (construction). I'm not saying what I did was absolutly necessary, but at the time damn if it didn't feel like it.