posted on May, 23 2004 @ 03:04 PM
Things men say:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you
Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress = Nice cleavage
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
Whats wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
Whats wrong?(alternate definition) = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex right now
I love you too = Okay I said it, we'd better have sex now
Let's talk = I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegel for you to have sex with other guys
I can't find it = I didn't trip over it so im completely clueless
What did I do this time? = Which one of the things did you find out about?
Its a guy thing = I have no idea why I'm doing this, and I don't want to look stupid
Uh huh/Sure honey/Yes Dear = I wasnt paying attention
Things women say:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
It's your decision = The corect decision should obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to bitch
Sure....Go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you stupid moron
How much do you love me? = I did something today your not going to like
I love you = I'm going to love you FOREVER!!!
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
I'll be ready in 5 min = I'll be ready in an hour
*Loud sigh* = You are an idiot. Why do I waste my time with you?
*Soft sigh* = I'm happy. Don't do anything to mess it up
This gift is perfect = A perfect piece of crap
I love baseball/football = I like to see guys in great shape in tight uniforms
Fine = This word should end any arguement that I feel I am right about and want to shut you up. Never should be used to describe how another woman
Nothing = This means something and you should pay attention.
Go ahead(w/ raised eyebrows) = I dare you. I will probably then get upset over "nothing"
Go ahead(normal eyebrows) = I give up, either that or I really don't care
That's Okay = I want to think long and hard about how I am going to get you back for that one
Thanks = A woman is thanking you. Don't faint just say your welcome
Thanks a lot = not to be confused with "thanks". You have offended me, so expect a *loud sigh*