posted on Oct, 20 2010 @ 02:18 PM
Just some chronology of the evolution of my belief that the raw skeleton of the truth is nothing like the official story:
1. I believed it all at first. I kick myself every time I do that, because the truth is rarely the first thing to rear its head. What I saw, almost
live, on that morning, stunned me to inarticulation, and compelled me to latch onto an explanation, -any- explanation, for what I was seeing. Two
plane loads of human beings, hundreds of them, reduced to gore --- colliding with two -buildings- of human beings, similarly reduced to meaningless
meat before my eyes. And while my mental aperture, too narrow by far to accept this instantaneous horror, tried to adjust, the horrors compounded.
People burning. People jumping. Accusations flying that even then, told me we were going to embrace the ultimate horror of war eventually because of
this. Iconic buildings, rife with subliminal symbolic imperviousness, crumbling in less time than it takes me to blow out all my birthday candles.
And then the rumors, countless. The speculations, more so. Then the Pentagon. Then the lonely crash in Shanksville, which to my shame, at this point
offered -relief- from the ongoing pandemonium.
I wasn't even aware that I wasn't being given time to think.
2. My vengeful state. We needed to move fast, find out who did this, and do our utmost to make sure that no two molecules of that entity could ever
bond again. Military aggression, trained into me, coupled with the anger of a violated civilian, was easy prey for the drumbeat of a government
prepared to stoke the flames in a media blitz to justify what was already contemplated. Long story short, I cheered for Shock and Awe.
3. We hit Iraq, and escalated in Afghanistan. I didn't question this. It didn't puzzle me. I knew my brothers in arms were largely honorable men,
and very capable of doing what deserved to be done. And then my catharsis, when I realized what I had become, what I had supported. WMD never mattered
to me. Never. 9/11. That's it.
But like a bullet to my brain, I realized I had just become, -we- had just become, precisely what we thought we were fighting. Terrorists, by any
definition. We intentionally targeted civilians, swapped out the word 'terror' for 'shock and awe', and at least personally, I okayed it with my
conscience, because we were doing it -back-.
Amazing how nations can be reduced to child-like entities.
4. The Bush administration itself started fueling my doubts, eroding my certainty. This has been covered in this forum ad infinitum. Liars. Just
goddamned liars. The real kicks in the teeth, over time:
-Bush saying he didn't think about UBL much any more. I literally stood up out of my chair and shouted at the TV.
-Late realization that Rumsfeld, the day -before- 9/11, announced at least 2.3 trillion dollars in 'unaccounted for' Pentagon waste.
-Dick Cheney. Isn't it interesting that I can just say his name, and know reasonable people will understand all which that implies.
-The Acts. One after another, the oath-of-office-violating acts, ramrodded on us by a blind Congress and ambitiously greedy and power-seeking men. It
was happening, and the worst horror in my opinion, it was happening HERE, very similarly to how it has happened historically in other nations
frightened into committing acts of unspeakable evil. Good people slowly introduced to accepting less, behaving worse, and fighting harder, to remove
vestiges of conscientious thoughtfulness.
5. Fahrenheit 9/11. An eye opener about the wizards behind the curtain. I'm not a huge Michael Moore fan, honestly, but when someone presents
researchable facts, and leaves them there to be scrutinized, they earn my attention.
6. The NIST report(s). I'm only an armchair scientist, my college days a third of a century behind me, but I was suddenly the old lady at Wendy's
asking, "Where's the beef??"
It's all condiments and bun, but....well, it's not how I would build a sandwich.
7. Loose Change. For the record, I disagree with a lot of the conclusions drawn by the first and subsequent editions, but here at least, if nothing
else, was an invitation to voice my growing doubts in an environment of increasingly less hostility to QUESTIONS. That's the thing...questions. I
scoff at the notion that I'm a nutter because I have them. I scoff at the PEOPLE who suggest I shouldn't ask, ask again, and insist on satisfying
answers. I'm still waiting on answers to some crucial ones.
8. Five years of looking into various claims, investigations, slowly released information, and the nature of the debate itself. In my opinion, those
who suggest that 'all has been debunked' have no place at the table. Their work was done long ago, if that's the genuine case. To a thoughtful
person, very little of the substantive questions have been given their day in court. Isn't that what we all wanted? Justice? A day in court? SOME
CRIMINALS brought to the beacon of American justice?
Massasoui? Maybe. Again, where's the Bin Laden 'beef'?
I'll keep asking. This seems like one place where that will be tolerated without the typical YouTard punditry and general sloth of public
Thanks for listening.