posted on May, 13 2004 @ 03:45 PM
Gee, it was hot on the flight out to Baghdad. These military planes may be quick but give me a first class seat on American Airlines any day. Unless
Jane Fondaís on board. Gee, that dame sure goes on. I said to her last time, go away and work on youíre yoghurt. She sneered "it's yoga" whatever
the hell that is?
People often stop me and ask why Iím always frowning. To be honest, itís because pretty much everything pisses me off. Itís a sliding scale really:
liberals, do-gooders, Arabs, intellectuals, humans. I hate them all. But Iím a reasonable man and Iím not defense secretary for nothing. Actually, Iím
good for around $3m a year, but thatís not important right now.
Anyhoo, Iíve come out to eye-rack to sort out all this talk of human rights abuses. Letís be clear, when Saddam was in charge, this kind of thing went
on for years and nobody complained. Well, I guess the guys who were tortured may have pulled up a few trees over it, but no-one who mattered said a
word. Now all of a sudden a few American soldiers get all trigger happy and weíre the bad guys. Jeez! Do people not remember what it used to be like
here? Men with electrodes attached to their testicles; women being raped; kids being beaten for no reason. Thank the Lord weíve restored some civility
to the region. I mean, all that still goes on but the guys have to let off some steam.
What I deplore is the media making capital out of all this suffering. I said to the networks, yes, come and film the war by all means but remember
this, we own your ass. No, hang on, that was that guy with the turban in Afghanistan. His ass is on Guantameno Bay at the moment. You canít be too
So George and myself are confident we can put an end to the doubts and do whatís right by the people of Iraq: offload their country to a bunch of
thugs we will sell weaponry to, stand back while they abuse their own and then steam in, kill loads of civilians and grab the oil.
It worked last time after all.
Well thatís all from me. Iíve gotta get some more frowning in before I get the plane home. Itís a busy life but I donít mind the hours. What I mind is
the people. All of them.