posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:01 PM
I don't want to turn this into a relationship advice column, so I'll try to be as brief as possible with my experiences.
Ever since I could remember, I notice a lot pretty cool coincidences throughout my days. A lot of things seem to be linked, whether it be through
dreams or normal daily activities/events. Never really think anything about them, just think they're pretty cool.
Lately, well, or the past year, they've been pretty intense. I met a man who I absolutely fell for right off the bat, and as far as I know, he did as
well. Because of certain circumstances, we couldn't be together and although I tried keeping in contact, all communication had been cut off, it was
like neither of us existed to each other. Of course, this broke my heart. It hurt every single day, normal feelings.
I'd have to say that me and him connected on an emotional, even possibly spiritual level, or at least something way different than what I've been
used to. Psychologically, I thought about him all the time so it would make sense to "see" things that reminded me of him. But that's not what I'm
getting at here. When I first met him, and the actual moment where a little spark of a connection rose, was when he asked me what type of music I
listened to, when I mentioned Smashing Pumpkins, he almost did a back flip and showed me his SP tattoo. I thought it was pretty cool, we have things
in common. This seems to be the source of everything that revolves around these types of signs. Even listening to them in the car one day we both said
at the same time "Billy Corgan is such a douche" and just busted out in laughter because of the timing of that.
Even after the breakup, I'd find that that particular band not only popped up a lot more throughout my everyday life, but I felt like it was trying
to tell me something? And yes, you can say because it reminds me of him, that it has heightened my awareness of the band. I agree, but here are a few
things that have stuck out in my head:
-I was playing rock band one day, being bored, I went to play the Smashing Pumpkins song that's on there, and before I started playing I just said,
if me and him get back together some day, I'll get a 100% on this song. Mind you, I've never gotten a 100% on anything on rock band, I just got it.
Even more interesting, while playing it, I was doing pretty well, I thought to myself hey maybe I will get a 100% and then go on to miss a couple
notes, pretty much blowing it. After I finished the song, I saw my score. It said I got a 100%. Since when do you get a 100% after missing quite a few
-Everytime I think about a memory with him right when I'm about to go somewhere in my car, I chuckle at our fun times, turn on the ignition and on
the radio will be a SP song. There's was actually a time where I couldn't even listen to the band and hated that I'd hear them everywhere I go
because it would make me so sad. Even more worse is when a friend starts singing them right in front of you.
Anyway, silly things like that continued to happen throughout the past year as I tried moving on with my life. I even dated again, which kept my mind
off of things although these "signs" continued. But that didn't last.
Here comes the more intense stuff. About a month ago, I had an extremely vivid dream of me and him back in each others arms, reunited, back together.
It felt so real I can remember me thinking in my head while dreaming, I can't believe we are actually back together. Then I woke up and realizing it
wasn't real, felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a bat. I felt so sad, it was like the breakup all over again.
About 2 weeks after that, we saw each other at a party. Not wanting to get hurt again, I tried my best to avoid him and not even make eye contact. No
matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I resisted, we talked, all initiated by him, and by the end of the night we were acting like we used to,