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The Greatest Love

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posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 08:53 PM
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We all know what love is. We all know that there are different kinds and varying degrees of love. There is the love we have for our parent(s) . . . there is the romantic love that we feel for our spouse or significant others . . . there is the love that we have for friends . . . the love we have for animals . . . the love we have for our fellow man . . . then, there is the love that knows no bounds, a love that I for the life of me cannot put into words . . . an unconditional, never ending, soul splitting love . . . that is love that a parent has for their children. That is the one love that encompasses the whole soul!
I am a calm fun loving person. I do not like conflict . . . but I will straight up jack you up over my kids! I would do without so that they might have . . . whatever it might be. I look at my children, and my heart swells so big I can barely breathe. What a gift and a blessing all children are. I know that those of you that have children will understand what I am talking about. Those of you who do not yet have children, well your parents most assuredly feel the same way about you as I do my kids. I say kids, they are 20 and 23 now . . . but they will always be my babies. I am sitting here now with tears streaming down my face the mere thought of them. I think we wrap so much of ourselves into our children, they are a part of our souls . . . an extension of us . . . one has my nose, one has my eyes, they both have my quirky sense of humor . . . its amazing when you think about it isn’t it. And what truly amazes me, despite our faults, despite the times that they think we’ve “ruined their lives” . . . they look at us like we are super heros!
I don’t think psychology or anything else in this world can aptly describe the bond between parent and child.
How anyone could beat and abuse a child is totally beyond my comprehension! My husband and I followed our son 170 miles away today . . . back to college . . . We cried for about 70 of those miles back home without him! Treasure your children, love them, shelter and protect them, teach them right from wrong and watch them blossom and grow . . . take in every moment . . . cherish the moments that you have each and every day . . . the day will come when they will want to spread their wings and fly . . . and as heart wrenching as it is . . . let them fly, and remain forever proud that you did a good job, that you did your best with a life that was entrusted to you . . . that you are blessed to have the moments and the memories when they are no longer there for you to see face to face every day! It truly is the greatest love!


[edit on 27-8-2009 by Greenize]




posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:25 PM
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great thread, personally i dont have kids and never plan on having them
my reasons are my own, but its likely that i will never feel what you have felt for your kids.

My passions are elsewhere and Kids would get in the way of them.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:35 PM
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reply to post by phi1618
 


Thank you! I don't think that a person has to have kids to feel a truly great love and I hope I didn't come across as feeling or sounding that way. It has been a very emotional day for me today... as you can probably tell!




posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:42 PM
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Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts with us.

I want to share my experience with you.

My son is now 40. Fifteen years ago he left our home town and went to work out of state with the company he was employed with.

I cried a river when he and my brand new granddaughter left and new wife and 2 young sons.

I thought I would die.

Five years ago he walked into my home after having driven from his home 4 hours away and we talked. He wasn't happy .

He's home now and has his own business and lives right next door to me.

My daughter is now 36. Six years ago I had to say goodbye to my daughter. She moved to Atlanta, got married and opened a business.

A year and a half ago she asked me to visit her in Atlanta. I did. She wanted to come home.

I stayed long enough to sell her business and get her packed up to head back south.

She lives on the other side of me. Son on one side and daughter on the other.

I knew they would one day leave the nest. It was a nightmare for me.

Now they are home again and I believe they are firmly planted this time.

Our love grew stronger when they left home and grew even stronger when they finally came home to stay.

It's very hard to see them go. Most of the time they come back home and bring a spouse and children.

I never knew there were bad mothers until I was about 25. I had a great family life with lots of love. My best friends mom was an alcoholic. It was a shock to me to see my friends loveless home life.

I'm thankful for my mother's love and for the love you have for your children.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:51 PM
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reply to post by dizziedame
 


Thank you for sharing your story, and for giving me hope! It is so hard to let them go!!!



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:51 PM
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To the OP: Your post was both wonderful and distrubing to read. Wonderful because its great to know such love. Disturbing because my own father was an abusive psychopath who told me 8 years ago he never wanted to hear from me again...he's never shown me any tenderness approaching what you describe, and he made sure I knew quite clearly that I was an unwanted, expensive burden from an early age...although I have to give him credit for at least "doing his duty" and not out-and-out abandoning us. Still, I often think of him as a Jackel or Wolf in human form...he has spent his life cutting a painful swath through the lives of family, friends, and associates alike and has many enemies. None of this seems to bother him in the slightest.

Just want you to know those types are out there as well, and many have kids, too.




"... there is an idea of [myself], some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I am simply not there."

-"American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 09:59 PM
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reply to post by silent thunder
 


His kind of thinking is alien to me. He DOESN'T deserve YOU I can tell you that and maybe he needs to hear that! I can not fathom ever saying anything like that to my children. There will come a time in his life when he is old and all alone that he will regret the way he has treated you and you know what...he DOES deserve that!! He can't see what a truly beautiful gift you are then he is an idiot!! No offense!



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 10:36 PM
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Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by silent thunder
 


His kind of thinking is alien to me. He DOESN'T deserve YOU I can tell you that and maybe he needs to hear that! I can not fathom ever saying anything like that to my children. There will come a time in his life when he is old and all alone that he will regret the way he has treated you and you know what...he DOES deserve that!! He can't see what a truly beautiful gift you are then he is an idiot!! No offense!


Thanks for your sympathy. Unfortunately he will never change. When I use the word "psychopath" I do so in the literal, clinical sense. There is organic brain-wiring differences. He's already quite old (I'm middle-aged myself) and from what I hear the only "remorse" or "regret" he feels is when he loses the remote control in the sofa cushion crack.

A true psychopath (about 1% of the population) can no more feel empathy or love than a truly colorblind person can learn to distinguish red and green. They can mimic understanding by copying others facial expressions and responses, just like a color-blind person can grasp that "the uppermost light in a traffic stop light is the red one," even if he can't really see any difference.

You run an EKG on one a normal person in a lab and you can see all kinds of spikes in brain activity when the conversation switches from, say, the topic of gardening to the topic of death by torture. Try the same switch with a psychopath and the EKG lines remain as flat and smooth as a baby's cheek. This is the easiest way to tell a true psychopath...monitor their lack of response to changes in words or events. There is an anecdote about Stalin watching an acrobatic troupe once. One of the high-wire acrobats suddenly fell and died. There were gasps and screams in the audience. The man sitting next to Stalin said he didn't flinch or even blink, just kept staring ahead.

We are talking organic brain damage laid down either before birth or soon after. The medical consensus is that change is currently impossible.

Don't mean this to turn into a pity-party....I made peace with all this many years ago. I have a lovely wife , good relations with all, general contentment and health, a modicum of success in business, and a number of good friends. I'm also privilaged enough to live in the advanced world while billions go to sleep with no dinner every day. In the grreat scheme of things, I have no right top complain at all. Ultimatly, I ended up winning the happiness lottery in just about every respect as an adult (at least so far), despite a number of hair-raising events earlier in my life. So don't worry about me, I'm doing just fine.


"There is great suffering in life, but there is also great overcoming of suffering." -Hellen Keller.

Let your kids know you love them as much as possible. Sounds like they are lucky to have a great mom.



[edit on 8/27/09 by silent thunder]



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 10:44 PM
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reply to post by silent thunder
 


I am very glad that you have found happiness in life. You seem like a truly wonderful person with a large and gentle heart!!! Thank you for your post!




posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 10:57 PM
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I'm sure it's an incredible love ... but sometimes, it does seem a bit over the top? Like for example many parents would totally screw everyone over, wreak mass havoc, even destroy the planet for their kid.

Plus, it kind of discredits other forms of love - but I guess after all, people are animals, and want more than anything to continue their own genes?



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 11:00 PM
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Of course, I'm not a parent (yet), so maybe I'll realize how worthless everyone else is compared to your own offspring when I am a parent.

It does make me appreciate my own parents more.

[edit on 27-8-2009 by Donnie Darko]



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 11:02 PM
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reply to post by Donnie Darko
 


I think that we have heard the horror stories, like the woman that killed the cheerleader so her daughter would have a place on the squad...now I would NEVER do something that extreme... There is a balance and fine line I think. I was only trying to attempt to put into words the emotional bond that is felt.... some people are just nuts!




posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 11:07 PM
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Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by Donnie Darko
 


I think that we have heard the horror stories, like the woman that killed the cheerleader so her daughter would have a place on the squad...now I would NEVER do something that extreme... There is a balance and fine line I think. I was only trying to attempt to put into words the emotional bond that is felt.... some people are just nuts!



Yeah okay I see.


I do agree for most people, it's probably the greatest love. Of course, some people have little love for their own kids.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 11:29 PM
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reply to post by Donnie Darko
 


That is a sad truth! What I have never understood is people that spit kid after kid out that they didn't want or need only to mistreat them... I don't understand not loving children.... but then it is no different in my eyes than the abuse that is perpetrated against the elderly...



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 12:09 AM
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In the words of the indominable Judge Holden:


...So what is the way of raising a child, [Tobin asked]?

At a young age, said the judge, they should be put in a pit with wild dogs. They should be set to puzzle out from their proper clues the one of three doors that does not harbor wild lions. They should be made to run naked in the desert until...

Hold now, said Tobin. The question was put in all earnestness.

And the answer, said the judge. If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would he not have done so by now? Wolves cull themselves, man. What other creature could? And is the race of man not more predacious yet? The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day. He loves games? Let him play for stakes...

...The judge smiled. Men are born for games. Nothing else. Every child knows that play is nobler than work. He knows too that the worth or merit of a game is not inherent in the game itself but rather in the value of that which is put at hazard. Games of chance require a wager to have meaning at all. Games of sport involve the skill and strength of the opponents and the humiliation of defeat and the pride of victory are in themselves sufficient stake because they inhere in the worth of the principals and define them. But trial of chance or trial of worth all games aspire to the condition of war for here that which is wagered swallows up game, player, all.

Suppose two men at cards with nothing to wager save their lives. Who has not heard such a tale? A turn of the card. The whole universe for such a player has labored clanking to this moment which will tell if he is to die at that man's hand or that man at his. What more certain validation of a man's worth could there be? This enhancement of the game to its ultimate state admits no argument concerning the notion of fate. The selection of one man over another is a preference absolute and irrevocable and it is a dull man indeed who could reckon so profound a decision without agency or significance either one.

In such games as have for their stake the annihilation of the defeated the decisions are quite clear. This man holding this particular arrangement of cards in his hand is thereby removed from existence. This is the nature of war, whose stake is at once the game and the authority and the justification. Seen so, war is the truest form of divination. It is the testing of one's will and the will of another within that larger will which, because it binds them, is therefore forced to select. War is the ultimate game because war is at last a forcing of the unity of existence. War is god.

You're crazy Holden. Crazy at last.

The judge smiled.

=Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian


[edit on 28-8-2009 by Tleilaxu Ethicist]



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 01:02 AM
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reply to post by Greenize
 


Your post was very touching Greenize. There is not a day , not an hour, that I go without thinking of my 40 yr. old son. He is a good man. Although I rarely know what he's actually up too because I only know what he tells me. As a mother you must know that a kid will sometimes tell you what you want to hear. One thing we do have besides unconditional love for each other is this...my son and I can call each other mentally. example: if I'm tand ing outside of a building where he is I can say, "David come outside Now, I'm here" and within 2 mins hes out the door. Hi Mom I heard you calling me.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:48 PM
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I entirely agree with what you said even though I don't have kids I understand the love for them somewhat. I am 23 and even my mom still treats me like her baby, hell she even calls me that and I'm a 6' stocky guy that towers over her. She's so sweet and my dad still tries to convince to do what he believes and even though he doesn't win, he never stops trying. I love both of them to death and can't really explain how strong it is. My dad had some problems raising me and the rest of us when we were younger. There was some verbal and physical abuse involved but after we all up ant left him alone he learned what he did wrong and called us up and it was the first time I heard him sob and apologize. He changed his ways. One time after I finally got bigger and stronger than him I had to confront him. He lost it on my little sister and was just screaming at her and I lost it because of that. I threatened to kill him if he ever did that again. Everything kind of surfaced at that moment but finally the boundary had been established and he never did anything like that again.

I'll tell ya though that was the worst moment between us. Never should a son have to fight his father, ever. No matter what happened or happens I always love my parents just as much because I understand what they are going through. They really didn't know what the hell they were doing when they got married and just kind of rushed everything without any experience but through it we all have learned. Forgiveness is the best gift you can give to someone as we all are only human.

My family bonds are the strongest I currently hold and being able to dead lift 450 lbs, I have a reputation in this town for being one psycho mofo if you have messed with my siblings and came away unbruised. Everyone knows what happens when they mess with my family. I've almost even clubbed a couple of guys for messing with my little brother (had the club in hand ready to go) so I understand the burning rage that comes with family.

Anyway enough of that, I'm starting to get all dramatic on you all.
Even when we screw up family will be there to forgive us and help us when no one else will. Cherish what you have forever and ever greenize. S&F!

[edit on 28-8-2009 by N3krostatic]

[edit on 28-8-2009 by N3krostatic]



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 04:06 PM
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reply to post by N3krostatic
 


Thank you for sharing your story! I know that we have all had some childhood issues...I think that maybe mine are the reason that I feel like I do for my children. I am very protective...I would never and did never leave my children with anyone!!! They were always with me! I love the bond you have with your siblings... I have 5 brothers and sisters and when one of us got spanked, we all cried. I am glad your dad realized that his behavior was wrong and that he was man enough to admit it and apologize!



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 04:11 PM
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reply to post by Greenize
 


What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.


Second line.



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