Thanks for notifying me, azure.
OP is very confused, and I'm unsure of whether or not he's schizophrenic, but he's sounding just like I had when I first broke into insanity for the first time.
Insanity starts with a crapload of information, and you don't know where it's coming from. You then proceed to filter the information - which takes TIME to decipher what is true and what isn't - and you must think yourself sane again.
He's focusing on metaphors, rather than what is really going on in his mind.
I hope he replies/U2U's me. I can share with him some of my experiences until he realizes I do know what he's going through, and then help him in the right direction.
At the very least, it'll give him someone to relate to, and he won't feel as alone. That always feels like heaven to me, when I find someone more experienced than I am at handling schizophrenia, and they teach me something on how to control it better.
