Election - Leader of the Post-2012 World , page 1
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ATS Members have flagged this thread 2 times
Topic started on 26-8-2009 @ 07:35 PM by andrewh7


Hi. My name is Andrew. As part of the Institute for Human Continuity election, I am running for leader of the Post-2012 world.

To show your support for my candidacy, please click on the link to cast your vote:
Vote for Andrew

In 2012, when the majority of the human race will be destroyed by the impact of Planet X, massive solar flares, and super volcano activity resulting from a destabilization of the Earth's core, the remnants of mankind are going to need a single voice to blindly follow and obey.

I intend to establish a one-world government led by a cabal of the poorest, most socially-awkward, and least influential survivors. A well-armed, civilian police force on horseback will be tasked with roaming the irradiated wasteland and eliminating any remaining jocks and male underwear models. After this necessary culling, the overweight computer technicians shall inherit the Earth. Those who have only attained the lowest experience levels in World of Warcraft shall be tasked with designing and operating a complex agricultural system for feeding the survivors within 5 years. All others will divide their days into equal periods for reproductive activities, online gaming, consuming remaining stockpiles of pre-Apocalypse canned goods, and sleeping on memory foam.



Popular Questions:
1. Q: Are you the Antichrist?
A: Probably not - unlike the politicians of the past, I will not feign certainty on important issues that have yet to be resolved. I have thoroughly inspected my naked, pear-shaped body and have yet to find any marks resembling "666."

2. Q: Are you in any way affiliated with former Vice-President Dick Cheney?
A: No. In the new world I will lead, everyone will be given a fair trial prior to imprisonment and execution. All vampires like Cheney will be doused in a garlic-heavy Alfredo Sauce and exposed to direct sunlight for clean and immediate vaporization.

3. Q: How many votes do you need?
A: I require roughly 100 votes to have the best chance of success in my campaign.

Once again, to show your support for my candidacy, please click on the link to cast your vote: Vote for Andrew

Thanks for your time,
Andrew

Additional Information on the End of the World:
Institute for Human Continuity




[edit on 26-8-2009 by andrewh7]


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 08:12 PM by mikerussellus
reply to post by andrewh7


I, for one, am impressed. May I be an overlord in your new empire? I smoke, eat red meat, enjoy fine scotches, and wear glasses.

I had planned on living out the crisis on my neighbors houseboat, but now, I won't have to duct-tape him to his lawn furnature and steal it.

Funny thread, nice touches.


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 08:47 PM by andrewh7
Originally posted by mikerussellus
reply to post by andrewh7


I, for one, am impressed. May I be an overlord in your new empire? I smoke, eat red meat, enjoy fine scotches, and wear glasses.

I had planned on living out the crisis on my neighbors houseboat, but now, I won't have to duct-tape him to his lawn furnature and steal it.

Funny thread, nice touches.


I have been looking for a Secretary for the new Department of Alcoholic Affairs. You will be responsible for making sure that any booze looted from the ashes of former major cities is evenly distributed among my supporters. Non-supporters will be forced to consume any remaining amounts of O'Douls, prior to their exile into the government prison colony to be constructed in Detroit. May god have mercy on their souls.



reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 08:58 PM by andrewh7
Originally posted by readerone
I wish to run against you.

regardless of if I survive , I will still be less qualified , and there for better as the ruler of the world .

I will not raise tax's , cuz the money has no value anyway .

I have no plan , so goverment will be tiny and just as effective as it is now... but no police state... because I have no plan to make laws with , or need for laws .

frankly speaking .. I am totaly and completely unqualifed .
there fore , you have no chance of winning an election .

I promise , if I am elected , to do as little as humanly posable.

'WoW' sux's as a MORPG.... 'guild wars' is so much better .

I will veto any bill that spends or collects money , fees , tax's or fines ...

I will sign any bill that outlaws spandex on fat people .
I will sign any bill that makes microsoft responcible for time lost waiting for it to load , reload , reading help files.
also ...

I will unionize microsofts employees , so they can do to it... what they did to the educational system and auto industry .

and what unions will do to the health care industry .


In my utopian future, there will be no taxes. Everyone will receive a free copy of Windows 7. Obviously, there will be no updates from Microsoft as the State of California will have been washed clean by multiple Tsunamis.

As a voice of unnecessary opposition and dissent, readerone will be institutionalized in a mental hospital on tropical island populated by dinosaurs, polar bears, and a sentient black smoke cloud that comes out of the ground to kill people every so often.


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 08:58 PM by mikerussellus
reply to post by andrewh7


I'm sorry, I had to switch parties, it was the dog poop joke that got me.


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 09:01 PM by genius/idoit
reply to post by mikerussellus




May I be an overlord in your new empire?
Is overlord the new czar?


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 09:01 PM by tothetenthpower
reply to post by andrewh7


Amazing how people claim to KNOW what is going on with 2012. Enough already folks, you all don't know what's going to happen any more than my cat does.

The institute of human continuity is going to get laughed at...

I'm not saying that 2012 isn't significant, it certainly is. But it isn't the end of the world.

BTW that website is a joke, all flash and gimmicks. No actual scientific fact. Then again is based on a belief as they put it. Simply stunning..

~Keeper

[edit on 8/26/2009 by tothetenthpower]


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 09:07 PM by readerone
reply to post by andrewh7


hey... a tropical island sounds good to me .

can I have sexy nurse's and med's hand'd out by a doc holiwood?

sure , sign me up...

you guys can have the burnt out buildings and new world order


reply posted on 26-8-2009 @ 09:27 PM by Turtledub
Originally posted by mikerussellus
reply to post by andrewh7


I'm sorry, I had to switch parties, it was the dog poop joke that got me.



joke?!?!

anyway! for your loyal support you shall be my first appointed minister for alerting the public when a possibly dog eating poop incident may occur. you will be in charge of getting people to the event and distributing popcorn and beer for the spectacle....through these means we WILL rebuild after 2012!
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