What do you want at your funeral?

After reading Alaskan Man's thread on "What do you want on your headstone", i was interested in if anyone had any plans already worked out for their funerals.

Yes i know, a bit of a morbid topic to discuss, but it doesn't have to be. Some people have really fun and cool funerals arranged.

I also ask because last night i learned that a friend had died. A popular man, and from what understand a very successfull man, however it was his funeral plans that surpised me. He wants no-one at his funeral, not even family. No celebration, no wake, nothing. No idea why, thats just what he wants.

I know many people who don't care as they won't be around to see it.

I remember a documentary about a boy who had a rare ageing disorder, and he wanted his coffin to have a tin of Heinz Baked Beans carved into the side of it. Why? So instead of greiving for him at the funeral, everyone would be thinking to themselves, "Why the hell is there a tin of beans on the side of that coffin?"

I know in these times of hardship, many people are being cremated instead of forking out horrendous prices for burials.

I'm not fussed really, but i'd like it to be a fun event. Maybe just cremate me and instead spend the funeral money on a paintball game for the people attending.

So have you any thoughts of how you'd like your funeral? (Jeez that really does sound morbid doesn't it?

CX.

[edit on 26/8/09 by CX]

whatever is the cheapest way to go. no wake.
plywood box for me. let my family use the money for something else.

Originally posted by thing fish
whatever is the cheapest way to go. no wake.
plywood box for me. let my family use the money for something else.

Sounds good, i must admit it does sometimes seem like a waste of money.

I've told the kids they can stick me in the garden.

CX.

reply to post by CX


Wow---what a cheery thread CX

Well burial would be out in my case, cos being enclosed and in the dark is one of my phobias---aaaargh !!

So a cheap cremation, with Zeppelins " stairway to heaven " playing would be cool.

and I'd want my ashes scattered over the ocean, on a full moon night, with van morrisons " Moondance " playing.

x

I want Paul Mccartney to play "in my life" as a solo acoustic version.

I want to be cremated and have my ashes dispensed by those closest to me.

THEN I WANT AN ALL OUT RAGER. I want people rocking out and enjoying themselves. And not for me either. I just want my last deed on this earth to be to bring all the people I love close together. Everyone takes off work a day and just enjoys each others company. That's all I want, for life to just stop for everyone for a day, to have some fun.

It won't make a damn bit of difference what's at my funeral because I won't be able to enjoy any of it. I'll be dead.

But if I


were to have a funeral........

It would be nice for the President to stop by and pay his respects
Same for William Shatner and Cher.

I can see it all now... my ex wives fighting over the spoils, and my friends making a hastey departure after the funeral to get over to my house and go thru all my stuff to take home with them.

Just like when I was alive!!



[edit on 26-8-2009 by whaaa]

No funeral, cause you'll never find my body..if I do things my way.
If not..scatter my ashes over all the places I lived and loved..and drink a toast of Irish Whiskey.
If anyone cries..I'll come back and deck you.

I WAS WAITING FOR MY HEARSE, WHAT CAME NEXT WAS SO MUCH WORSE.

I want to be cremated and then have all my ashes sent out into space... And I mean ALL of them, not a measly 30 grammes or something, I want the full 2 kg (or however much you get from an average sized male body)... I want to be sent out so that one day I will leave the solar system.

Never gonna happen though, unless I strike it very rich.

reply to post by CX

Yes i know, a bit of a morbid topic to discuss, but it doesn't have to be.

I agree :-)

cremated - scattered somewhere - but, where?

so many possibilities - I'll decide later

then a picnic I think - by the water somewhere

wine, food - music - something I would have liked if I were still here

oh - and all of it under a full moon on a balmy summer night

there you go

:-)

...however it was his funeral plans that surpised me. He wants no-one at his funeral, not even family. No celebration, no wake, nothing. No idea why, thats just what he wants.

my father made the same request - and we honored that request

but I gotta say - it was hard on us

it made no real difference to him being gone and all

but funerals are for the living - not the dead

it was hard on those that knew him and loved him, both family and friends not to be able to have that - we really needed it

pissed me off a little - if I was being honest - even though I really did understand

but - he would understand my being pissed off too - so - whatever :-)

reply to post by uk today

and I'd want my ashes scattered over the ocean, on a full moon night, with van morrisons " Moondance " playing.

beautiful - I feel the same way

there has to be moonlight

also - I love that song too

very nice :-)

I think funerals should be more artful - and interactive

i would like lots of beer and laughing, imagine if a dead u was there and lots of people being sad. what a wake. all the wakes i have been to i have tried to make people laugh at all the silly and daft things they did in life and just make it a celebration of there life. just as an after thought what the most bizzare thing thats happened to u at a funeral. mine was at my mothers furnaral and her aunty came up to me and said oh i havent seen u for years wheres your mum. i can laugh at it now but at the time ouch not for me but for her. by the way g db at the end of this reply is my delete button is broke so ignore. steve.g db

reply to post by CX

What do you want at your funeral?

CPR and a major dose of smelling salts.

Short of that ... cremated without any fuss and dumped into the Atlantic to feed the little fishes.

See, it can be a fun thread if we want it to be!

I don't particularly want anyone at my funeral either.

Just a friend to play Sisters of Mercy for me - 'Phantom' or 'Bury Me'. Not for the titles, although they are apt, but because those are two of my favourite songs.

Absolutely no religious service of any kind.

Cheapest possible coffin and a cremation. Then scatter my ashes on Harlech Beach.

I keep meaning to get a new Will written up and I want to put these instructions in it. I wonder if putting it all here would count as a legal instruction?

What I'd really like, though, is to die somewhere quiet and not be found for ages. Give me time to slip away without a lot of fuss.

[edit on 26-8-2009 by berenike]

At my funeral? A party....

No wake for me...I find them gross. No "funeral" as such but certainly a party for all my friends, family, foes and fuggers to celegrate my life and to celebrate the fact that FINALLY.....it's over!

I'm old fashioned and believe the body should be buried. The wife wants to be cremated and thinks I should be too. Oh, the elusive agreements with the other half...

AFER I am buried or otherwise, go to my house and party like it's 1999. I would appreciate a decent amount of people over doing it and puking. That would make me feel loved.

edit to add: Lastly, I will have Punk, Post Punk, New Wave, Alternative and otherwise playing from the mid 70s into the late 80s. It will be playing everywhere. Joy Division "Atmosphere" among others....some Bauhaus, Ramones, Clash, Sisters of Mercy, Sonic Youth, Killing Joke, and the list continues and is very long. You want to party at my funeral, you have to listen to my music. My wife hates my music!






[edit on 26-8-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

If you really want a pine box, have it made now. When someone dies suddenly, there isn't time to find someone to make a pine coffin. Put your wished on paper and make it known to someone close that you have written down your wishes. When a person dies suddenly, it is very hard for family and friends to celebrate. You know, those five stages a person has to work through, they start immediately when you find out a person has died unexpectedly. Chances are you won't get the service or no-service you say you want--but hey, you won't know it anyway.

I want graveside services since I already have a burial plot and headstone waiting for me, just have to put the dates on it. I don't want to be looked at, I don't like to see the dead. Other than that--no party please!! It ticked me off when my husband died and people went down there and drank beer around the grave. That is not celebrating--its not cool.

And whoever said that the people will be rummaging around in your stuff--you are right on about that--people will probably be stealing your stuff instead of going to your service.

EVERYDAY ABOVE GROUND IS A GOOD DAY



[edit on 27-8-2009 by catamaran]

Does anyone think there is any possibility/place on Earth where my family could place my body on top of about 1,000kg of dynamite, leght the blue touch paper and run!

Then my body is mostly atomised apart from a few chunks!

Just hypothetically speaking, my folks would not really go for that... But I think it would be quite cool, they could have a little fireworks display culminating with me going out with a rather large bang!!!!

Originally posted by Now_Then
Does anyone think there is any possibility/place on Earth where my family could place my body on top of about 1,000kg of dynamite, leght the blue touch paper and run!

Then my body is mostly atomised apart from a few chunks!

Just hypothetically speaking, my folks would not really go for that... But I think it would be quite cool, they could have a little fireworks display culminating with me going out with a rather large bang!!!!

Now that sounds pretty cool.

I know someone else who did that kind of thing, except he solved a few problems at the same time.



Now who could say no to a send off like that?

CX.

I believe that funerals are for the people left behind. What it is that they need to help them transition to not having you and move on.

some people want something really specific. And I can understand why people do not want a fuss. But sometimes, people NEED something to help THEM with your crossing.

My ILs are firm believers of not doing much, and they cremate, and I have several relatives in a closet. (we are getting a collection to go out on a boat and spread their ashes in the ocean)

right after I got married, I lost my very dear BIL to a drug overdose. he was only 24. it has been heart wrenching. One of his close friends asked me: where is he going to be buried? I said he isn't going to be buried, he is going to be cremated. he looked upset. He said, how am I going to go talk to him? I won't have anything to go talk to.

It broke my heart. Sometimes people need that headstone to talk too. When we do spread the ashes, I plan on keeping some of my BIL, so I have it to talk to.

I think what the needs of the friends and family need to be considered a little bit when making plans. Some people need those viewings and funerals and headstones.

I told my family they can do what they need too. But if there is no prefernce, I want my ashes spread on Assateague Island(my favorite place) or made into a reef ball as my final act for the environment.

A metal band, and a keg!!! Scratch that 3 kegs!!!



[edit on 27-8-2009 by nick_napalm]