posted on Aug, 25 2009 @ 05:15 AM
I see you specify murder as the crime to be forgiven or not, so I'm unable to say whether or not forgiveness would be something I could manage
Which is strange, because as a child and even in my 20s and 30s, forgiveness was automatic for me .. easy .. not something I had to even think
What I did observe though, was that offenders didn't appreciate being forgiven. They took me for an idiot. And on many occasions, they repeated the
offence. It hurt me, sure. I had to think about it. Did I have 'Stupid' written across my face ?
The answer, I feel, is 'yes'. The offenders weren't required to suffer, therefore they had no reason to alter their behaviours.
So, after studying other people and situations in their lives, I commenced a private experiment -- I would learn to hold a grudge and exact
You won't like this, but it was FAR more effective than my unstinting forgiveness had been.
Suddenly, I was granted respect
It was a valuable lesson. Went against everything I believed and was.
But this is the real world, not some Himalayan mountain top.
In any case, religions and their teachings and parables are often utilized for control .. to keep the people meek and obedient. And this is something
often discussed in conspiracy sites, isn't it -- how the Church plays the role of policeman to benefit the State .. and the State rewards the Church
So what we're TOLD the sages advised might be completely different to how those sages actually lived their lives, just as the clergy aren't as they
portray themselves and are all to prone to very human failings in their private lives.
Ten or so years ago, my business partner embezzled from me several hundred thousand dollars. I'd put a decade and a half of my life and energy into
the businesses, as well as encouraging my business partner (before we became partners) to keep trying, trying new things. I built up his confidence
and covered for his mistakes. I went for years on next to no salary in order to put the money back in the business. I paid for every single item I
took from the business, worked weekends, rarely had time off and all the time, boosting my partner to customers and suppliers alike. Saved him from
going under time and again. And while all the time talking up the future, plans, and expressing what appeared to be sincere gratitude, he was
siphoning off money, putting joint assets in his family member's names.
Sure, I should have had an eagle eye on what was going on. But it's difficult to demonstrate trust in someone if you're always over their shoulder.
He'd had a bad reputation before I got involved. He'd embezzled funds from a sporting club, it was said. But he told me a different story and
again, was very believable.
He left me with less than $500 to my name and walked away with over a million. I know now just how easy it is to do what he did. The law favours the
crooks, basically. Not only did it leave me broke, it left me extremely disillusioned.
I still haven't managed to forgive my business partner. The only thing that saved my sanity was the fact that the experience led to a fantastic
opportunity and led to one of the happiest periods of my life. So it's true sometimes that as a door closes, a window opens. But I was very lucky.
Not everyone is as lucky.
The fact is, my business partner didn't stick the knife in once. If it had been just once, I could probably have understood and forgiving wouldn't
be as difficult. Rather, he stuck the knife in repeatedly over a period of years, I was to learn at the end. Over and over, he was ripping me off
behind my back. He was colluding with others against me and undermining my reputation at the same time he was systematically stealing from me. All
the time, he could not have failed to be aware of the destruction he intended not just for me, but for my family.
So .. I haven't forgiven him and I doubt I will.
I hope he lives a very, very long time .. to 90 and beyond. I want him to live with what he did, long after his enjoyment of the money he took, has
faded. I want him to see his approaching death and to wonder what lies ahead. I want him to scream my name as he dies. And if I see him in the
hereafter, I think I'll kick him in the face.
Therefore, if someone murdered someone I loved, valued .. then I doubt I would forgive them. In fact, if I survived the grief, I suspect I would
track them down and kill them slowly.
I'm honest with myself. Parables and platitudes are fine in books, as advice. But apart from 'sounding wise and good' .. what do they achieve if
people are telling themselves, 'I must forgive. To forgive is holy. I will feel better if I forgive' .. yet in programming themselves in
these beliefs, they are denying their rage and grief and sense of injustice ?
After all, in the Bible, it says 'eye for an eye'.
And God didn't forgive Satan, if we're to turn to the Bible for inspiration.
If God had forgiven Satan, then humankind wouldn't be stuck in this 'bad divorce' situation that is life on earth/in this dimension.
So the Biblical God should practice what he preaches. As above .. so below.
But who knows what lies ahead. Maybe in time I'll forgive my business partner. See no reason to do so, but perhaps the sense of betrayal will fade
in time. But I'm not going to force or fake it. At the moment, I still want him to experience the same pain and suffering he so callously inflicted
upon my family and me. Only if and when it does will HE acknowledge what HE did. Then .. let HIM come and seek my forgiveness. that might work for
me. Plus a return of the money he stole from us