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This topic is in the Short Stories discussion forum.  (rss)


daddys girl




Topic started on 24-8-2009 @ 09:34 AM by notsosweet


Hi everyone. this is my very first attempt at writing anything, I have journaled some, but have not tried writing. I have always thought it would be fun to do. Please don't hesitate to tell me how you really felt after reading this. I would appreciate it very much and what a better place to get my feet wet than ATS?


Always a daddys girl
my thumb around your finger
said i could be anything
I could ever dream
Said I was smart
pretty and kind
Would always be your little
poopsie pal
Your getting older
I can see it in your face
How did you get so wise?
Oh the knowledge I wish
I could have gotten from you
all these years
Maybe its been there
I just havent found it yet
Or don't see it
Its often said that one mans knowledge
is another man's weath
I met a man, my husband now
who is loaded with intelligence
He who reminds me so much like
you in many ways
I hope I can find the ways
to keep him happy
and above all else encouraged to
keep learning and growing
and to share what he knows
to all when he can
We all make mistakes
some never to be forgotten
or forgiven
Please know I have always loved you
even when I did wrong
I love you Dad



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 05:31 PM by TheDarkHorse


That was lovely. I guess most of us can relate to this in one way or another. Well done.



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 09:44 PM by notsosweet


reply to post by TheDarkHorse



Thank you for that I really appreciate it. I'm hoping that I will write more in the future.

Thanks for reading it...



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 09:54 PM by P. O. W.


There are all sorts of craziness in peoples lives their past experiences and crazy poltics and accidents and chaos, but I liked your poem its nice to just relax and hear something calming and beautiful.



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 09:58 PM by notsosweet


reply to post by P. O. W.



Wow..thank you for those kind words. Sometimes I like to know that there is still good in our lives.

I really appreciate you taking the time to read it.



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 10:04 PM by sanchoearlyjones


reply to post by notsosweet





who is loaded with intelligence


"pie is good"

He who reminds me so much like you in many ways


"I like pie"-kspigpen

I hope I can find the ways to keep him happy


MORE PIE!


Okay, I couldn't help the above; I remember Ks. thread re: PIE.

Yes, that was a wonderful poem, and very brave to put it out in the public.

S&F

[edit on 25-8-2009 by sanchoearlyjones]



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 10:12 PM by Jakes51


Very moving poem and your father should be very proud of you! There is nothing more important in this world than for a child to have a father with whom they can rely upon for wisdom and protection. I feel sad for the children that lack that crucial component in their lives. Thanks for sharing your writing with us and look forward to reading more in the future.



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 10:14 PM by notsosweet


reply to post by sanchoearlyjones







Yes, that was actually pretty funny Sancho....Maybe I should ask my dad how much he likes PIE.....yummy pie...., maybe that's why they have stayed married for 55 years.... or maybe not......LOL....

Hehe....there hasn't been PIE here lately .......LOL

thanks for reading my poem...I apppreciate it very much....



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 10:22 PM by notsosweet


reply to post by Jakes51



thank you very much for that. I am very lucky to have my dad who is still around. Yes, there are children who don't have a father for wisdom and guidance. My children are very blessed with a great stepdad who is like a father to them in many ways.
thank you again.



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 10:26 PM by Hazelnut


reply to post by notsosweet



I like your poem very much. You never tried to force the words, they just flowed. The sentiment was rich and yet simplistic. I approve of your style. It is refreshing. I hope you do keep writing.

I wish I had grown up with my dad in my life. We were fortunate enough to reunite after more than 30 years apart. We had 5 years together before he died last year. I worked very hard all those years hoping to hear him say to me one day "I'm proud of you". He was.

[edit on 25-8-2009 by Hazelnut]



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reply posted on 25-8-2009 @ 10:34 PM by notsosweet


reply to post by Hazelnut



Im so glad that you were able to share that time with your dad. And I'm happy to hear he was proud of you.

I am going to keep writing. Your words truly touched me. Thank you so much.



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reply posted on 24-9-2009 @ 08:12 AM by jackflap


reply to post by notsosweet



I loved that one. I have a daughter and you made me feel as though I was reading this from her. S+F because you definitely hit some heart strings there. Good work notsosweet.



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