Ask A Schizophrenic Anything

reply to post by Soulegion


I won't lie, it sounds exactly like me in the beginning.

The main thing you have to realize is that while you DID receive certain thoughts and information that are true, you have to remember not to get stuck in them. They're all metaphors, and they all mean what you already know; it's just your mind trying to make sense of the new world you're viewing.

Everything is different, but everything is the same. You have to remember that.

It's only when you start going deeper into your head for more knowledge that insanity begins to brew up and psychosis sets in.

reply to post by JackWestJr


Apparently, you refuse to read a bit further into my thread where I mention that my psychiatrist is backing me up on this.

Also, they are not considered "my" meds, as I have nothing prescribed to me for my schizophrenia.

It's not that I have medication and am refusing to take it; it's that I have my psychiatrist watching me closely while I'm off meds, and I have to rely on him to keep me off of them.

Go ahead and be angry, though. The world's a #hole right now. You'd be ignorant to try and live like nothing is wrong.

Hey Clevername. Your thread is fascinating!
Couple of things that were quite insightful, self medicating with cigarettes, must be something about nicotine and other ingredients. Also sundowners syndrome, halucinations at sunset because of lighting change. These symptoms apply to my moms condistion as well.

But I have a question about the voices. Have you ever considered psychic ability? Can you distinguish self thought messages from those that might be from another source?

reply to post by JJay55


I can't rule it out, but I can't prove it. I refuse to believe anything unless I can at least prove it to myself.

I keep an eye on it, but I try not to push anything. Last thing I need to do is get snagged by a metaphor again.

It got so bad one time, I thought I was god himself. The delusions were crazy intense, but I fought my way through it at home.

Don't worry, I didn't drive or leave home.

This girl that it didn't work out right with.

You hear her voice right? She talks in your head?

She's one of the voices I'm sure right?

Just asking?


[edit on 5-10-2009 by FouL-LiveR]

reply to post by FouL-LiveR


A voice claims to be her. It is their way of trying to get me to grasp onto them and make them clearer.

It's like they need my faith to live, and they know it.

Originally posted by CleverNameHere
reply to post by JJay55

 

I can't rule it out, but I can't prove it. I refuse to believe anything unless I can at least prove it to myself.

I keep an eye on it, but I try not to push anything. Last thing I need to do is get snagged by a metaphor again.

It got so bad one time, I thought I was god himself. The delusions were crazy intense, but I fought my way through it at home.

Don't worry, I didn't drive or leave home.

Have you seen or read Clan of the Cave Bear? Ancient man had a ritual of metaphor vision using hallucinogens and I swear we still carry the memes. It was a form of communication and psychology of the past.
Could our afflictions now be related directly to change during the industrial revolution that we still carry as evolutionary features? If so then there is a purpose for visions and delusions I would think.

uhhh Hi CleverNameHere, I am sorry for my paranoia or pesimistic attitude when I replied in the past I have just been trying to deal with things and struggling. You sound like a very nice person who just wants to talk, so I will tell you some of my story. Every doctor can give you a different diagnose you should research yourself and know yourself and be able to manage your own mental health. I was in the field for over 5 years and I never really had a symptom I was just nieve how I talked about it and I got cloudy foggy put into vague classifications. I was a rebellious youth with family problems and irish so chemical dependency problems, and I thought I heard this commercial in the backround , I amk not really sure what I thought I heard it doesnt matter just I was talking nonsense to police and they brought me to psych. I got a court order over 2 1/4 years and half a year leading up to it then I saw a private psychiatrist and worked with my dad. It was all going OK for over 5 years I guess and I got sick from this love with the idea of psychedelics and these molds that were growing. Over time my head just crashed, I heard this expression that looking for the 3rd eye hallucinagins can be like a hammer, and I was slowly rebuilding and my neighbors started this strange behavior. But this is what I was leading up to my mind was racing so fast I am not sure if I thought things or they just appeared and my mind was overloading. Sometimes it was phrased or sounded like a second conciousness conversations or tracing my singular train or thought I thought I had a brain pacemaker and I assumed that their might be a 2 way microphone attached to the electrical impulses that is concoiusness if it was a low radio. And sometimes when I didnt have water based things in my diet when it was dark at night and the room was shadows I saw my ipod light levitate 8 feet in the air straight vertical and I saw a life sized Alessa from SH crawling on the ground across from me towards in the shadows I was almost having a heart attack, moving shadows. Everything is all better know I just had some poisoning and I am on the right meds and feel a lot better just for awhile I was sick. That is the most vivid memories of mental illness I have case I just got stuck in the system most peoples arent very severe. I read a few pages here and there I read more weeks ago but if some of your behaviors are similiar or you want to talk about anything like this go straight ahead.

reply to post by P. O. W.


Thank you for your story.

I understand the mindset. Knowing that you have to continue on with it, even if you don't want to.

It's a struggle.

Could depression turn into schizophrenia? Someone very close to me has been depressed for a long time without any help. She tells me she feels as though she's struggling for her sanity. This person may also be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. As she was raped on 3 separate occasions. Should she pursue treatment or "see how deep the rabbit hole goes"?

reply to post by Huey Adinasi


She needs to see how deep the rabbit hole goes... with guidance.

I suggest she start going through psychiatrists like they're candy, 'til she finds a flavor she likes.

www.katherinealbrecht.com...:fri-september-04-2009&catid=20:show-archives&Itemid=44

I suggest you listen to the above link of one mans freedom from schizophrenia


[edit on 29-10-2009 by StopComplaining]

reply to post by CleverNameHere


Were you born in a military hospital, Navy in particular?

reply to post by GROUP6


No, I wasn't.

There are a lot of Marines in my family, though.

i am also a schizophrenic. i tried posting in another thread but now i cant seem to find it. im sure our stories are similar. when i had my inititial psychotic break, i felt vibrations all throughout my body so intense and divine it drew me to tears, more than once. my psychotic breaks always focus on the divine.

i had some questions though. i take meds, risperidone, which is an antipsychotic, and despite taking it, i still hallucinate and begin tripping every time there is a full moon. maybe others understand this, but i dont. it happened just the other night.

another thing, i was involved in a miraculous healing. a close friend of mine had hep C, and we were hanging out one night and i hugged her, and she immediately jumped back calling out, "what was that?! what was that?!" she said she felt my spirit inhabit her body, and then said she saw an angel's face over mine. i didnt totally believe her. she continued to feel strange the next few days, and went to see her doctor. miraculously, without treatment, she was completely free of hepatitis c. has anyone heard anything like this happening before? ive read a lot about schizophrenics possibly having psy-powers or abilities untapped, and the psychotic break is a sudden emergence of these abilities, but healing? i am not joking about this what so ever, she claims i healed her of her hep c.

any insight people could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Originally posted by CleverNameHere
reply to post by LestatG

 

Mods, please don't delete his post, or my reply. This is actually a very important topic.

I have tried cannabis, as I had heard that it helps.

This is what happened:

I took the cannabis, and my night went from decent to terrible. The color drained from my face, the voices became more clear, and the actual physical real people around me got dimmer.

I thought I was going to go crazy that night.

However, the next morning was beautiful. I could think more clearly. I couldn't predict the future, but it was as if a split second before something happened, I had known it would.

So summarize:

In my opinion, it does help, but you can never be sure whether or not the first experience will drive you over the edge or not. I urge those who have schizophrenia, and are looking for ways to make it better, to speak with your families before you try anything.

Myself? I do not think I will ever use cannabis, or any drug, again. The night of hell that proceeds is not worth it.

Dude, I was reading trough so many things you have said that I had to post something.

I have taken psychedlic mushrooms 3 times and in all ocasions I had a "bad trip" the last occasion I felt as if I have become bad totally insane an schizophrenic. (It's funny how people use words like crazy and mad and you never think about the word in its true meaning because that night I have felt the true meaning of being crazy).

It wasn't visual but it was in my head, I am a heavy thinker thinking about anything and everything and personally I think that that is my problem. I took the shrooms and I wanted to find out the truth and meaning about living in this reality. I kept looping in a spiral that i couldn't get out, my mind wouldn't stop thinking things and late that night I was sitting on the edge of my bed with a laugh on my face looking at my hands knowing I was totally crazy. As I looked at my hands I had the idea that nothing exists that there is no reality and that everything around me was my own fantasy. There was no god no other people no other world nothing! it was all one boi imagining it all!

After that experience I puked all the mushrooms on the floor of my room, what followed was the best and purest experience I have ever felt. It felt like i was reborn I "looked" inside my mind and there was nothing! no thoughts just total bliss. That morning I felt reborn and again people realy have no idea of the full implications of the word reborn untill you yourselff experience it. Words have meanings on many diffrent levels and people understand them at diffrent levels.

That night I was thinking that my friends where right I shouldn't take spychedelics and that i was crazy and now my parents will have to take care of me and lose there on and only son. The morning saved me and the routine of the next day realy brought me back to reality. I was awfully quite the whole day and poundering about what happened and I did feel some "after" effects of that night that maybe from that point on I was crazy but I got out of it.

Just like you said that if you get these ideas of other voices or weird reality's you simply have to calm yourself down and tell yourself that everything will be alright.

It is said that bad trips bring insight and that night I knew what my problem was, I was trying too hard knowing the truth of reality and this world that instead of getting closer i got farther. Sometimes you need to let it all go and simply think of nothing and let reality take you where it needs, it will all be fine if you lose the fear.

some quotes I thought up that morning when i was "reborn":

"the whole world is schizophrenic in some way, we are all crazy and are desperate to keep the illusion before our eyes."

"Don't look for the truth, cause it will hurt you"


Dude I think you and I are similar in many ways, you should look up Terence Mckenna's talk on schizophrenics.

btw any reply to this post I can't read because I don't get notification on reply's which sucsk. so pls U2U me for a conversation or statement.

reply to post by Soulegion


soullegion

OMG! everything you discribed was things I also experienced that night !!!! It's amzing how similar your language is to my experience I got goosebumbs.

Indeed you are right you can think about a subject and take a perspective on it then go on thinking that it is the best without flaws and then suddenly see a flaw in it and begin to make another "theory" I can't explain this but I felt like I was super smart dudring that time and that I could figure out everything! Theo only porblem I had was that iwas looking for the truth of life and so i kept thinking about it and thinking and in every theory wheter it is a materialistic one or spiritual none of the theories i could come up with where true!


thats when i got completely mad but I regained sanity after I puked out the mushrooms and the routine of next day saved my sanity.

I can relate to you man, also the metaphores!!! I never thought about it but you are right !!! that night I also saw everything come into one big pussle where everybody and everytrhing in my life was for that very moment. And things where simply amazing.

remember bad trips are very edicative, although for you they where dangerous. I'm sorry to hear that but I believe people with your condition can "fit" in even with there amzing talent.

peace

~ nothing to Ask... 'cause i've a functional Schizophrenic for a lifetime already ~

here's where we differ though,

just wouldn't / couldn't have the patience to lurk on one particular thread like its my child or something.

I'd suggest that your either a nurturer or a person with an obsessive mind

anyways, just thought i'd drop in to say hello

uhh hello, I tried to apologize to CleverNameHere in the past and spiraled out several times. I am privy to certain cross interegation information with the neighbors and may pick up some subliminals others wouldnt see. I never was crazy I was framed and reading too much into others wrote on a lot of different threads take everything out of a context a few different ways and try to see what they might be pertaininjg to with all possibilities. I wish I never came to this site, bothered people and in a really bad state of mind being terrorized by neighbors different fronts of things or phases. I cant nail them legally and they cant nail me legally and we are all fed up . I dont know what this may look like to the rest of the world or anyone online. That movie Conspiracy Theory though , you know how they see us conspiracy theorists though as mentally unstable crackpots , a lot of people here are just normal people though.

reply to post by djusdjus


Ask a schizophrenic anything

does not equal

Ask a schizophrenic for advice


I guess you lack reading comprehension :\