reply to post by CleverNameHere
only got to page 6 and had to skip to the end, i've had to self impose limits on how long I can spend on this website...
Firstly reading all your response in the first 6+last page & a few stupid questions thrown at you, I've been very reassured & feel incredibly close
to you, we are very similar.
Last week I struggled a bit when I forgot that the voices I heard in my head weren't actually real, they stepped it up another level..I would hear
'negative' mumbling coming from the next door neighbours house whenever i was within earshot, which was everytime i went to the kitchen or toilet.
This part is real, but then my mind interprets the mumbles & repeats them as words in my head, this voices are saying things like
'he only ever leaves his room to get food or take a #...what the #s up with that...yeah i know! what does he do in there...and he's up all night
too...you can see the light shining out his window at 3am..."
I am a musician and naturally nocturnal, I'm up all night producing music, this makes loud noise sometimes or muffled bass that carries a long way, I
did a year in sound engineering study & understand the properties of sound at a scientific level, I'm also naturally very compassionate &
considerate, all this facts play into my auditory hallucination and make me feel guilty for disrupting them with my noise & makes it hard for me to
work on my songs, i.e do what I love.
Despite what I've just said, I've got it under control, I just forget things I should probably write down.
I know when I'm being psychic & when I'm being paranoid (somewhat) for e.g.
I was listening to one of my closest friends reading out a letter they'd just written, and I could hear the words being said by my internal voice,
bout half a second before they came out of his mouth. this happens from time to time & its on the one hand lovely, but at the same time horrible
because its hard to focus & continue a conversation.
My 'dark thoughts' only seem to make an appearance when I'm under stimulated, I'm pursuing musical study & a vast array of other things, I have an
I.Q of 130 last time I checked.
Also Carl Jung would define me as an INFP idealist healer, and we only account for 1% of the population so I would expect the other 99% to think
If these voices do happen to make an appearance I'm analysing them & exploring them these days, and enjoying it.
I'm 'playing' with it now, it doesn't hold me back. Although it did for a solid 5 years & nearly killed me twice, first time someone else's fault
2nd time was mine, wont do that again.
I don't work tho, because I know much regard the RBA(I'm in oz) & fed reserve & money & intend to mimic hunter s. Thompson with a kick ass house in
the middle of nowhere, I'll deck it out with natural nrg generators & rely on no one. It will be grand. Only jobs I've even gone for required the
bare minimum of mental effort, autonomous factory work, next stop is data entry as its just as mindless but pays double.
so much to say, so little characters remaining..
3 of my cousins schitzo, 2 died young, 1 missing presumed dead, and my father is paranoid schitzo, but I'm better equiped to deal with it & have
nothing to prove.
what was said earlier by you & another poster re: personal misson & we're all here to watch. this is somewhat true, I think if you explore further
you'll find out more personal info, but know you are correct about this.
There is no such thing as a healthy mind in the world of psychology, only different degrees of pathology. Med's are not the answer, when meds become
the answer, the person has been led there. they weren't encouraged to make their own decisions regarding the matter & attempt to work on it
themselves. there are no quick fixes. I self Medicate, I smoke pot, I take psychoactive substances annually..run out of words