What to do with young Offenders? Has society become weak?

Originally posted by bigvig316
Personally I think a lot of this has come from giving kids too much a pass. we want to protect kids but we go to far were we are not punishing them enough. MY parents grew up whacking my brother and my butts for a lot of things but they never crossed the line in to abuse. It is the few who did cross the line that has ruined punishing their kids and turned it into a crime. If we went back to real punishment at home a lot of these things wouldn't happen.

My parents maybe spanked me once and I was a pretty good kid because they were consistent. If they said "no" it was always "no", not "no, no, oh alright!" They were on the same team, they explained why something was wrong, why they were disappointed, and they punished me without hitting me. The thing I see is that you have parents who will still spank their kids, but they do it when they are out of this world angry, after being lenient one too many times.

Good parenting takes a lot more energy than most people want to put in.

Children reflect the upbringing they receive.


But sometimes there is a wire crossed and that it does take medications and rehabilitation.


There is not a one size fits all approach to discipline. For instance, a smack on the bum would do nothing for my child. But he is extremely social. Isolate him for a few minutes and he caves.

Parents these days are too busy giving and not being parents. They are also never home. And we (especially in the US) insist on isolating ourselves making parenting 10x as hard. As oppossed to living in families where everyone is in charge.


I have has several chats with friends from Africa, where it is literally the village raises the child. All women are mothers. The parents can come and go and get the breaks they need. While the children remain in an environmetn of a lot of mothers.

They also informed me that basically any adult, can hold them accountable. If that child does something, any adult is allowed to correct them without question, and then informs the parent. When any adult is allowed to hold you accountable, you tend to watch your P&Qs more.

Maybe we should stop with the isolationism,and start living as a society again. Instead of putting fences up between our relatives and neighbors.

I grew up in a neighborhood like that. I could go anywhere and my parents were comfortable because any other parent in teh area was watching. I would get hurt and someone would run out and help me immediately and take me home. I caused trouble and my parents knew in a second.

It was the best way to grow up in my opinion. It was a very safe environment.

I think all the isolationism is also what is leading to all the depression. Instead of aunts, uncles and grandparents always being around to watch you, you get thrown in a commerical daycare.

We insist on infants sleeping like adults, 12 hours in a room by themselves. We can't even let them be infants. People are now forcing them to sleep through that night at 5 months. (most countries don't expect a child to sleep through the night till 4 years).

No wonder kids are screwed up.

reply to post by A Fortiori


You are very right there. spanking tells a child that you have lost control. When they learn what your boiling point is, they test it.

There is a book that every parent should be required to read called: How to raise an emotionally intelligent child. People focus so much on academic intelligence, but totally ignore emotional intelligence. But it doesn't matter how smart a person is if they stomp out of a meeting room every time something doesn't go their way.

Look at how many geniuses work at dunkin donuts.

[edit on 23-8-2009 by nixie_nox]